Anyone else with a 3, 4, 5+ year old who is not confident enough to go in the big bit at soft play?

[nappyaddict]

DS is coming up to 3 which means at the soft play area we go to he will soon be too old to go in the baby area but he can't manage the big bit very well and so gets frustrated and fed up. Would be interested to know if other older toddlers/preschoolers are the same? Are staff at these places quite flexible regarding the age limit if you explain to them when you go in?

I found this age really hard at softplay for just this reason. My solution was to avoid these places until ds was old enough to go in alone . Dh just went in the bigger bits with him , in fact he always went in with him from a very young age and just played with him. I personally had no interest in that!

I've always gone in with dd (now 3.7) but she will occaisionally now go in with another child for a short time. It does put me off going to soft plays as I don't really wnat to go in with her.

My DS is the same age is yours nappy and he just does not like soft play areas, or parks, or swimming pools...

wonder if he's agrophobic...or just weird

Seems to be when they are busy but with soft play he just does not like at all maybe he just knows how unbelievably minging the thinsg are

if he is a small 3 then I wouldn't tell them his age
children develop differently and what one 3 year old can manage will be difficult for another

I've never encountered a soft play place yet where the staff put ANY effort into making sure children play in the age-appropriate areas ... nightmare when it's your baby being hoofed in the head, but quite handy when they've cleverly designed the 'older' children's area so that no one under 4'6" can actually manage it.

One of us (DH ideally) went on soft play things with DD at 3, now she's 5 and we mostly avoid them - she's physically brave (thrill-seeking nutter in fact) but socially shy, doesn't like to go on things by herself, and I feel 5 is a bit old to have a parent trailing about. Borrowed a friend's 6yo last time, that's the way forward!

Does anyone just let their DC go in the smaller bit anyway and just tell them to be gentle and mind the smaller children?

I think the ones by us have toddler areas for 'up to 5's'. My DS can be timid at times and wouldnt have gone in the main part until he was of school age (unless accompanied by his dad - you would't get me in there!!). But then, he would always be gentle with smaller children.

nappy, yes I used to let my 4 year old into the 3 and under section, but he was very gentle and didn't go storming around.

Ds1 has always been very clingy, he used to sit on the sidelines of parties for ages before joining in.

Refused to go into the older children's play areas unless I went with him so we just sacked it off for a while.

He is now almost 6 and is fab now.

Is he comfortable in other play type areas when there is a large number of other children about. Is this confidence issue just at soft play or extends to other situations?

ds1 is 6 now and only in the last year has he been ok to go in the big frame without an adult
luckily for us the small play area is ok for under 5s, and in school term time you can accompany your child on the big frame, during school hours
tbh he is still happier in the small kids section and often plays there - if he is playing carefully i turn a blind eye and he has only once been kicked out by staff for being too old

It seems these places need to have 3 areas. 1 for under 2s, 1 for under 7s and the big bit for the more adventurous children.

It's not that he's not confident in situations with large numbers of children. He absolutely thrives on that. It's just that he can't manage the big play area so if he's not allowed in the smaller bit then there's no point in going cos he just won't have fun.

I would keep DD out of areas designed for very tiny children - like a pub nearby that used to have just a tiny slide and some foam blocks for very small children. But another place has a couple of areas for under-5s, and while I'd suggest she kept out of one (it's a small frame, and offers nothing that the bigger frames don't have) she will go in the other with my blessing. I always keep an eye on her, and she's in no way a physically aggressive child. Last time we were there she and her 6yo friend ended up being 'bullied' by a 3yo!

I wish some places would think about their design more - ie not state 'this bit is for under 3s, and this for 3 and over' and then have some element in it that even the tallest 3yo couldn't negotiate. I took DD to one once where there was just ONE step, right in the guts of the frame, that she couldn't manage. I spent the entire afternoon, with a stinking hangover, helping her and her friend up that one step, I was cursing by the end of it!

ds i almost 4 but has GDD so is mre like a 18 month-2year old so he plays in the younger areas when they have aske dme i just explain and they dont mind

what is GDD?

global delay devlopment means though hes almost 4 in his case hes more like 18month-2year old physically and mentally