potty training getting me down - advice anyone?

[jennifersofia]

We've been at it for about 2 wks, and seemed to be going pretty well. Last couple of days though she has been experimenting with my reaction to weeing on the carpet, her coat, etc. Difficult to know what to do. I try not to be too agitated and just tell her firmly that 'the potty's the place!'. I don't want her to get a negative message and either get a hang up or feed off my reaction, yet obviously she needs to know this is not okay. I do try to be very positive when she is sucessful. It is a bit hard to be relaxed sometimes though, when I know she needs to wee and she refuses to sit on the pot. She is very independent and rebels at my suggestions she have a try ("no way, man!" she says). With poo she hasn't yet become aware in enough time and does it in her pants, or sits on the pot but jumps right up before she is finished. Books don't seem to do the trick. What have other people done in this situation? It is getting to be a hell of a way of cleaning the carpet!

Much sympathy here. DS used to poo everywhere, and never seemed to get the hang of doing it on the potty. But I think the best thing is to persevere. 2 weeks is only a short time in the scope of things and at the time it feels like forever, especially if you're constantly having to wash things. I know this is not a conventional approach but I resorted to smartie bribery, 3 for a pee in the potty 6 for a poo and it worked, and once it had been working properly for about a week I started to 'forget' the smarties until they were never mentioned again.....

And as it has been going so well so far she obviously knows what to do, she's just being independent minded (which you WILL value later, honestly!), and seeing how far she can push you - don't they all??? You just keep going, you're doing all the right things. Best of Luck!

no solutions here - although bribery/rewards are always worth a try - just lots of sympathy as I know what it's like. Ds1 I struggled through it and he got there in the end. Ds2 I put him back in nappies for a while and tried again later when I had a bit more energy.

How old is she? Just wondering if she's a little bit young... I started training my son when he was exactly 2 1/2, and he picked it up very quickly. Four months down the track and we've only had a few accidents - now he goes to the toilet and does a wee standing up (like daddy ), puts the seat down and flushes. He prefers to sit on the potty to do a poo (rather than the toilet), but I usually sit him on it after he's had breakfast in the morning and most of the time he does one. Does your dd have a particular time of the day when she goes? I don't know if it's the best idea but most of the time I put the potty in front of the tv so that he can sit on it while he's watching something. I think once she gets the hang of it things should get better, although 'testing' you with it is another thing!! Good luck with everything...

Holly02 - I do that too. I put a Bob episode on the video and sit him on the potty when I think he needs to go. Because he has never watched much TV he pretty much accepts its both or neither IYSWIM. Also sat him on it in the garden last night and blew bubbles while he did a wee. No success with poos yet.

I think getting the level right when they make a mistake is the hardest bit jennifersofia. Its a fine line. I have not yet done chocolate bribery because I have been worried that this might have an adverse effect at nursery where he wouldn't get the chocolate.

D'you know I was worried about the chocolate thing at nursery too, but he never seemed to need it there - it just wasn't the routine for him there - bizarre huh??

Think girls do go for the potty earlier than boys though, know lots of boys who were 3 or more still not into it, but all the girls I've encountered are done and dusted at 2 and a half. DD is currently showing interest at 23 months.

Thanks for advice and support. She is 2yrs and 2 mths. She was showing all the signs for a couple of months prior, and can control the wee well - I think has got into purely an independence thing. Went okay yesterday but today....
thinking about doing the smartie bribe, but resisting it. Mind you, it could be a reward system (1 for Sofia, 2 for mummy..)

Hi jennifersofia ... my dd is 2 and 3 months and we started potty training a month or so ago. We've done a bit of choccie bribery too - main reason was for poos which she still has trouble remembering to do. A few smarties pursuades her to sit on the potty for long enough for it to happen when I know it is going to soon. Also, told her she could have a chocolate anytime she got a poo in the potty and then when they ran out, she was fine about it. In early days we did stickers for any kind of success. We also do TV, reading a book, playing "pat a cake pat a cake". We also went through a couple of weeks where when we asked her to go and she wouldn't then I would say "that's ok, I don't want you to do a wee, I just thought we'd try to do some magic!" Then I'd get her to sit on the potty (she was intruiged), we'd say "magic words" and low and behold a wee! She is always very pleased with herself! She's only weed once deliberately off her potty , and have to admit I was cross and told her off. Don't know if that was right or not, but she's not done it again.
My Mum tells me I needed chocolate to sit still on the potty as a child...I blame her for my smarties addiction!

Hi jennifersofia ... my dd is 2 and 3 months and we started potty training a month or so ago. We've done a bit of choccie bribery too - main reason was for poos which she still has trouble remembering to do. A few smarties pursuades her to sit on the potty for long enough for it to happen when I know it is going to soon. Also, told her she could have a chocolate anytime she got a poo in the potty and then when they ran out, she was fine about it. In early days we did stickers for any kind of success. We also do TV, reading a book, playing "pat a cake pat a cake". We also went through a couple of weeks where when we asked her to go and she wouldn't then I would say "that's ok, I don't want you to do a wee, I just thought we'd try to do some magic!" Then I'd get her to sit on the potty (she was intruiged), we'd say "magic words" and low and behold a wee! She is always very pleased with herself! She's only weed once deliberately off her potty , and have to admit I was cross and told her off. Don't know if that was right or not, but she's not done it again.
My Mum tells me I needed chocolate to sit still on the potty as a child...I blame her for my smarties addiction!

how did that happen? Sorry!

Thanks sjs, sounds quite similar to what we have been doing, with the exception of the telly (haven't got one) and the magic words - very inventive, will try it!