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Parenting

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Original poster

when did you explain the facts of life to your children?

14 replies

thisisyesterday · 30/04/2009 22:23

I was planning on just telling them stuff as they asked.
ds1 is 4 and I am expecting a baby in June, and I thought he'd have asked about it. but nothing. all he has asked is how it comes out, which I've explained.
I got a couple of books in readiness of the conversations to come.. but nothing!

so what I wanted to know is, did you leave it until they asked, or was there a point at which you thought hmm, this is a good opportunity to tell them and then do so?
cos it seems like this is a good place for me to read him the books I've got. but on the other hand I don't want to be giving him information he just doesn't want/isn't ready for.

thoughts please!

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wrinklytum · 30/04/2009 22:31

DS was about 4 and I said some gubbins about mummy and daddy having a special cuddle and daddy putting a seed into mummy and mummy having a very tiny egg that went into her womb and daddies seed joining with the egg and then a baby growing in mummys tummy until the baby had grown big enough to come out.

I had to laugh the other day though.We were talking about dd and ds asked why I didn't "lay" another boy and got a girl instead,like I were a chicken.Another detailed explanation and "Google" was required.

wrinklytum · 30/04/2009 22:34

fwiw ds was just 2 when dd was born and was spectacularly unimpressed by any talk of babies.I would leave it until he asks and seems interested

sphil · 30/04/2009 22:34

I kind of drip fed it. DS1 had the 'Flip Flap Body Book' when he was 4, which had a section on having babies in it but he was only interested in the digestion and pooing chapter. He's asked various questions in the years since, but has only asked the 'how EXACTLY is a baby made?' question very recently (he's 7.11).

I would say, tell him as much as he wants to know at this stage but don't push the full details!

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Acinonyx · 01/05/2009 07:15

DD is 3 and is fascinated with having been in my tummy and talks about it a lot. But she's never asked how she got there and I am waiting until she asks the appropriate questions.

She wants to have a baby when she's 16 and I have said she will need to choose a nice daddy for the baby - but she hasn't asked why yet!

flamingobingo · 01/05/2009 07:29

Get them Mummy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole and leave it at that!

Personally I feel it's good to foster honest communication about such subjects before they're old enough to be embarrassed about it, but IME, they're really not that interested so don't worry too much about difficult questions!

SummatAnNowt · 01/05/2009 09:45

I've left it till ds asked. He's 5, a couple of months ago he picked up our condoms and wanted to know what they were for, I gave him a brief overview of them being something for daddies and he was satisfied. Last week he came across them again and wanted to know what they were FOR. So that's when I went more in depth about it. He's been asking about how lots of things mate recently, just must be the age for it for him! I was explaining pollination the other day and he went, "so bees help trees mate?"

Takver · 01/05/2009 10:47

About 2.5 I would say, but we live on a farm so there tends to be discussion about getting the goats in kid etc round the dinner table and our ducks spend a lot of their time mating on the front lawn so it kind of came out of that . . .

madwomanintheattic · 01/05/2009 10:52

lol, dd2 at 4 asked me if you had to go to hospital to get the baby put in there as well as get it out...
it was more of an idle muse than requiring a detailed description though. we were in the car and i said 'no darling' and she'd forgotten by the time we got home. hasn't come up since...

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 01/05/2009 19:39

hmm ok so general consensus is it's ok to wait until he asks?
that was my gut feel anyway. although he's becoming quite curious about bodies in general and we do have a body book on request from the library as like sphil's son he wants to know all about food and poo-ing lol

I guess he may start asking more when the baby is actually born, but otherwise i'll just wait until he is ready.

flamingobingo, mummy laid an egg is one of the books I have ready and waitying!

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Original poster

thisisyesterday · 01/05/2009 19:40

actually, just one other question.
if your child never did ask, is there an age at which you would tell them anyway??

(am thinking when he gets to like 7/8/9 or something)

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neolara · 01/05/2009 19:59

Another fan of "Mummy laid an egg" here. I recently read it to my 4 year old as just another book. It was accepted without particular comment by her. But at least now she knows the very basics and can ask if she is curious.

I wonder if it would become more of an "issue" if you didn't discuss it until later.

booyhoo · 01/05/2009 20:25

ive been thinking same recently, ds is almost 4 and wants to know how the midwives will get baby out of me. so far ive just said they have lots of tools and eqipment at the hospital. do i actually tell him where it comes out of or is that a bit much for him?

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 01/05/2009 20:40

booyhoo, ds1 asked me if it flew out of my mouth and I just said no. so he asked how it got out and I just said that mummies have a special hole. like we have a hole for wee and a hole for poo, there is a special hole for a baby to come out too.

"ahhh yes" he says "that's your baby steps. I remember that from when I was born. I came down your baby steps and flew out like a fairy didn't i?"

pmsl/ he was actually dragged from me via ventouse after a hideously long labour

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booyhoo · 01/05/2009 20:48

ahh bless, shall try that with ds, not sure it will fly though, he knows when i lie... i taught him too well!!

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