I handled this badly yesterday, I know I did

[Saltire]

yesterday tea time, DS1(11) came in and said
"If x (neighbour who I've fallen out with) says I hit her mindee a, well I did but he hit me first".
SO 5 minutes after this, DS2 came in, sticking up for the child DS1 had kicked. Ds2 says that "DS1 hit the child for no reason then kicked him again when he was on teh floor"
DS1 denied this and went on to say that DS2 had been holding Ds1's arms behind his back while this otehr child punched Ds1 in stomach. I ended up getting annoyed with them both because they were both telling me lies,a nd I wanted to get to teh bottom of it becasue I knew perfectly well that my neighbour who was childminding this child, and the child's mother would be round here swearing and yelling

• I had an incident last week where neighbour called police becasue Dses and their friends were playing football on the street and he friend got involved-

anyway I was serving up tea and neighbour's 6 year old child came to teh door and said to DS2 "I want to speak to DS1". I shouted through that he was getting his dinner and would be able to speak to the child when he was finished. Then the child said "well I want to speak t oyur mum" and I said I was servng dinner and would be out to speak to him alter. Then (by this point his mother was out, but not at my door, she was standing out on the pavement at the head of my drive) he said "well my mum wants to speak to DS1 now". 10 minutes had passed since the incident, and DS1 was having his dinner, so I said "she can speak to him later he's having his dinner" Then her child said "oh well tell Ds1 we are taking the child to hospital as he banged his head when he fell off his bike"

Now at this point i admit I lost it my Dses. First time a bike had been mentioned, and I was furious that it appeared to be more serious than either of them let on.

I gorunded them both, and grounded Ds1 from going to football practice. Now I think he might have been telling the turht, he has stuck to his sotry repeatedly, but there was much shouting and yelling from both of us, him swearing at me etc.

I handled it really badly, not sure what to do next time

I think I would have reacted in pretty much the same way tbh. I'm having awful trouble with dd1 lying at the moment. It's got to the point where I really do not know when she is telling the truth, and I lost it with her the other day when she lied about hurting her sister.

I remember your post from last week and how fed up you were. I wouldn't feel bad about grounding them, maybe it'll make them realise that if they continually lie to you, you won't believe them when they are telling the truth.

Thanks for taking the time to answer me Blissa

saltire, no advice i don't think, but I remember a previous post of yours about the boys and their behaviour and neighbours children and just wanted you to know I'd read, even if I can't say much iyswim?

i have no idea what you do if you don't know the background, other than saying that it's unacceptable to EVER hurt someone else even if they do hurt you first and that they'll both have to stay in if they can't keep out of trouble