Tips to support the minority language

[Pitchounette]

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Hi Pitchounette
I'm in exactly the same position as you. The only solution I've thought of is sending my DD to stay with relatives in the UK for at least 2 weeks every year. This year she'll be spending just one week on her own with Grandma, Aunty and cousins, then I'll come and stay as well for another week, but if the experiment goes well, as of next year she'll be staying 2 weeks and maybe when she's older she can stay longer. I hope so, we have 3 months of summer holidays here!

She's only 3 at the moment, will be 4 this summer, but I think she can cope with a week without me [sob!]. Could you maybe do a similar thing? Do you have much family in France? Better than an exchange family whe they're younger, no?

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That is a problem, yes. I think having children their age around makes another language more attractive. Do you not have any friends you've kept in touch with who would happily exchange with you? Would you be able to host other children though? I know it would be a problem for me as I work full time, whereas the rest of my family are either retired or SAHMs.

Do your parents never go to France for holidays? Could they not take your DCs for at least part of that time.

It is difficult when you don't have family in the "right" place.

My thoughts about these:

• No TV other than french:

Well, if you really want them to resent French and make a conscious decision never to speak it again, this sounds a good way.

No seriously, the trick is to make them feel that the minority language adds something extra, that they are getting more than other children. If they're not allowed to watch the TV programmes their peers watch or have access to the same popular culture, then they are going to blame it on the French. (I think it's fine to ban TV altogether and let them blame it on you being a killjoy, but if you ban the TV they are most likely to want to watch because of their French, then French becomes a killjoy).

A better way is to find really good films in French. Something cool, something that is going to interest them, something that gives them street cred.

• when they will older, exchange with a french family, summer camps

sounds good, but only if they actually want to do it; try to find a camp/activity that is attractive in its own right

• teaching them to read in french and spend 30 min a day reading together (ds1 reading to me and me reading to ds2)

sounds good

• french lessons with a tutor to teach them to write in french (ds1 atm then ds2 when he will be ready for it)

it's a thought

Any other ideas??

Internet is a great resource. Chat forums suitable to their age (dd is on a Swedish horsey forum). Email penpals. Special games that you play in French.

Send them to UCPA - French residential holiday sports camp. They'll speak only French - from 6 years old.

I knew a man who was English married to an Italian woman. They lived in the UK. Went to Italy fairly often but they had an absolute rule at home.

The man only spoke English to the chldren and they only spoke English to him. The woman only spoke Italian to the children and the children only spoke Italian to her.

Another friend of mine is French and lives in the UK with an English husband who is only able to speak French in a limited way. They cannot go back to France very often. They are struggling like you to get the children to speak French at all even though they can understand it quite well. In part, it is just laziness on behalf of the children. I suggested the approach of the English/Italian couple above and she said she would give it a try and admitted she had not been consistent in trying to push the issue with her children.

I teach them to read and write in Chinese.

We keep a diary in Chinese that we record things we did, things that made them happy or sad, things they liked or hated etc. They say things and I write them down. It seems to appeal to them - they fight over who gets to have their thoughts recorded.

I tell them classical Chinese stories and stop at cliffhanging moments so they come back for more ... Lots of monsters and weird stuff in these stories so pretty appealing, but apparently I can't tell them at bedtime because it's too scary ...

Internet - lots of youtube videos and flash animations of Chinese stories and songs.

Tutoring - no intention of sending them to Chinese school or getting a tutor. We do have a few Chinese friends but we only see them about once a fortnight or so, and the children play with each other in English anyway. But they are beginning to speak Chinese to the grown-ups.

What about meetups with other families who speak French at home?

DCs have a few friends like this and although they are all at French schools, because the adults all speak English together, the children play in English.

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Why does the fact that your parents live in the UK a problem in itself? I mean, I understand that being surrounded by French (ie in France/Belgium etc) would be the ideal - but, if your parents speak French to each other, staying with them means being surrounded by French all the time they're in the home.

At your house, there's one Francophone adult and one non-Francophone adult, presumably speaking to each other in English.

At their house, there's two Francophone adults, presumably speaking to each other in French.

Surely that's got to be good, even if it's not perfect?

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I suppose it depends where you are.

The way I have met English speaking people with children in this area:

mumsnet

being approached by them (one of the advantages of having DCs who run off alot is that when you run along bellowing 'Come back here' in public is that people know you are English)

introducing myself to the parents when the children make friends with other English speakers at the beach (mostly they are on holiday but occasionally they live locally)

someone I know put up a notice in a shop

I run an English conversation group in a café. It's for French speakers to practise English but I have had a few calls from English speakers who have seen the posters

There are far more English speakers with children round here than I ever imagined.

I absolutely do see what you mean, especially about speaking with other children.

At the same time, I realise that if I limited my child's exposure to French to "perfect" situations, she wouldn't learn French at all. In my case this is particularly key as you may know from other threads that I am not a native speaker myself but am trying to bring my daughter up bilingual. If she didn't have that constant stream of "pretty good" input from me, she'd have no chance when the occasions to be with "perfect" speakers came up - it just wouldn't work.

I realise, of course, your situation is different, but I suppose what I mean is that one has to take every single opportunity and keep the end goal in sight - being too choosy can defeat you in the long term.

Something I do do is that, as much as possible, when my daughter is with me, it is 100% French - by which I mean that, not only do I speak to her only in French, but if the TV's on it's in French (DVD or TV5), if there's music it is in French (CDs or radio Nostalgie on the web - my daughter is still too small to be cool), if I read to her it's a French book (if she brings me an English book I will either translate it or, more often, stall and then help her pick a French one); all her toys have French names, even if they're different from the English ones (Bruce the Bunny becomes Laurent le Lapin) ... and so forth. It may sound hard but for us it's just like that. True, it may get harder as time goes on - after all, it's hard to pretend that Claude Francois is "in" these days ...

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It's good fun. I get to go out for a drink and am meeting lots of people.

I never know who's going to turn up. Someone brought her father who was well into his 70s and used to conduct business internationally, some people bring their teenagers who are studying English at lycée.

There may already be a similar group in your area. And they may be registered on:

www.polyglot-learn-language.com/

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Yes, when I set my group up the reaction was very positive. People were pleasantly surprised they didn't have to travel to a big city.

I heard about this site on Europe 1 about 6 months after setting up the group.

A lot of areas have Saturday schools or playgroups. From what I can tell (only been to the one which is very good but in London ...) they vary greatly in the age of the children, the commitment, the professionalism (in its good and bad sense) and so forth, but they are out there.

It's true that the further you are from a big city, the bigger the area the group will be trying to cover (and so, potentially, the further you will need to travel) but you might find it useful.

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Pitchounette, where are you? We are in Dorset and looking for French-speaking children. DD is 2.8 and speaking both languages. I am English but speak French, if not perfectly, and DH is French. We see French family, either here or there, once a year.