Can anyone give me advice re my not quite bilingual toddler please

[timmette]

My ds is 3.1 and I am English and his dad is Dutch , my partner and I speak English together and he speaks Dutch to my son and I English. We are living in Dutch speaking Antwerp, and ds attends a Dutch school.
He had a wide vocab of words and can make himself understood enough to bargain with me about in which order to do things etc.
His teacher says at school he is still speaking English and Dutch and not solely Dutch and seems to think that by now he should only be speaking Dutch at school. Is this correct - how can I help him to speak Dutch only at school he has been at the school for 6 months now.
I am worried because the teacher says he is getting a little frustrated when the other kids don't understand him. Any advice more than welcome.

Thanks Belgo I never know if I am putting my foot in it I know it is a sensitive topic and that's why I asked the teacher's opinion etc. I know what you mean somethings are different in Flemish - and my dp/h often comes in amused when he has learnt a new word and promptly gets on the phone to his parents who are also Dutch to tell them.

I would say you're doing a great job. Your DS is in a predominantly Dutch speaking environment, so his Dutch will certainly be fine. Talk to the teacher (with some literature as back-up) and say that his dad will read more with him (or some such plan to keep her happy!)
Then I'd continue speaking in English to him and don't be swayed to 'help' him with his Dutch.

My DDs (now nearly 9, and 6) moved to France 5 years ago just before dd1 was 4. Her Dad is French and she understood a lot but only spoke words in French as opposed to sentences. In school she remained stumm for about a month, wouldn't speak at all. The teachers were very easy-going and said she seemed happy and followed instructions, so they knew she could understand. After a month or 6 weeks she started to speak. By the time she was about 5 she was pretty fluent in both languages.

The pitying looks I got from other parents was annoying though. I got comments like 'would you not speak French to her to help her' etc.

5 years later, I've just started a thread on how to help that same DD with her English!!! Learning to read and write through French means that it's her English that needs polishing and nurturing!

So please don't sacrifice your son's English for the sake of improving his Dutch at this stage. He'll get there. You just need to reassure the teacher.

Thanks pillowcase we have started his Dad reading to him a lot more - so at least I can say that with a straight face.

timmette sorry I haven't got the time to read the whole thread as both dds ill but will later. All I wanted to say is this, from my exp every child is different in re to how they develop their bilingualism (as anything else for that matter). I'm not going to tell you all my friends' experiences but just that I'd never worry too much about the language oof where the child lives, in your case dutch, in ours english.
DD1 hardly spoke any english till last sept when she was your son age despite her dad, childminder, the world speaking english to her. Now 6 months later she's fluent and even better than italian thanks to nursery and friends. I'd concntrate more on her english as that one will soon become redundant in his mind.

following from anna's post. It's trye re some teachers ignorance re bilingualism. not the case at dd's nursery were they insist I keep speaking italian and not to worry. ex childminder however kept saying I should speak english and forget italian for now . needless to say I changed childminder. I guess they were frustrated that she wasn't as chatty as other kids. If her dad and greandma//grandad auntie could deal with it so should they imho.