My 4yr old DS has started to get very angry/upset when tormented by others, how do I explain to him how to deal with this and walk away?

[crazytown]

This has been going on for a while, my DS is 4.3yrs and there are a couple of kids at pre-school who will say silly things such as "Youre not my friend", "Your a cry baby" - all the usual playground talk. These are his friends by the way and are only a little older than thim.

He gets very upset and cries. Ive explained to him that they do this as they know he will re-act hence they get their kicks.

Ive told him to walk away and do not respond. Tonight on collection was a classic both boys came up and wound him up, he was tired and it ended up him crying and screaming back at them.

Tonight I sat down and said again he must walk away, he said they follow him and say you havent heard us I again told him to perhaps say "you are not being kind, I do not want to speak to you" and walk away

God I dont want to over react but he was very upset tonight and seem to exhaust himself. What else can I do to teach him to deal with this

Maybe try role play with him, and build his confidence a bit? I do this with dd, who is 6 as she has also become very sensitive recently.

good idea will try this tomorrow. Its a mild form of bullying my hubby says

I wouldn't say it's mild, it's bullying full stop.

I agree with you both - role play him saying a one liner until he can almost say it automatically. e.g. As you are being horrible, I am going to go and play somewhere else / I'm not going to be near people who are being nasty' BUT work with him to choose the words so that it's something that he feels he can say.

it is impossibly hard - it's always this sort of torment that has pressed my buttons in the past.

I guess the only thing that would actually work that he is almost certainly not going to be able to do is for him to laugh and wink at them.

thanks went through some role play today and he seems to have grapsed it - lets see what happens today when i collect him.

How did he get on today?

At dd's school they tell them to "fog". You pretend you're in a thick fog and can't really hear what the bullies are saying. And the "hurt" can't get through the fog to you. So you just walk off.

The one-line response that works well for my dd is "yeah? and?".

all was ok today my ds made me laugh though. At home time he had his scooter and one of the boys wanted a go. My Ds scootered off. I asked him why he wouldnt let him have a go and he said no Mummy Im going to make him upset and cry like he makes me

Torche!!!

woohoooo!!!!