1 week into potty training dd (2.11) - still doesn't say she needs a wee?

[Biccy]

We have been nappy free for a week, with not too many accidents on the wee front (poo is a different story but I think that is due to constipation). The progress is that when she needs a wee she can do it pretty quickly on the potty as long as I get her there at the right time. Two problems:

1. she is reluctant to go on the potty, and we have to have a negotiation about it every single time (which is tiring both of us out)
2. am I expecting too much to think she might start to say when she needs a wee?

I feel that we have made good progress, so don't really want to go back to nappies (and she certainly doesn't want to go back to nappies), but I'm not sure how long I can continue to find ways to get her on the potty often enough.

Any experience/advice gratefully received!

How's it going compo? I arrived to collect dd from childminder yesterday to hear she had had a 'difficult' day, bursting into tears at every tiny thing... and perhaps the potty was too much for her and we should switch to pull ups.

This left me very confused, as she won't really feel what's going on in pullups and it felt like that would be confirming her 'failure'... dp said to carry on, friends I spoke to last night (with 9 children between the 3 of them) said to carry on, and this morning dd got herself to the potty while I was upstairs getting dressed, and did poo and wee. So, we're carrying on. Just got her next wee on the potty too (with my prompt, but without any reluctance).

But, she is very clingy - is this just a side-effect that we will all have to live with, or does anyone think I should be giving her a break? (If I present her with knickers or pull ups she insists on knickers, btw).

Biccy, how old is she?

Have just re-read your OP. Is she still needing lots of prompting and persuading to use the potty?

Hi notnowbernard, thanks for responding. dd is 2 & 11 months. She does still need lots of prompting (has only voluntarily used the potty once this week (this morning), and once last week), though seems to need less persuading which is nice.

Also, she had an accident this afternoon (I was on the phone to work thinking she was okay as it was less than an hour since her last wee), and she called me straight away saying 'I've done a wee wee already' - the difference was the 'already' bit, she's never said that before; so, I'm thinking the message is starting to sink in, and that maybe she thought about getting to the potty (it was about 2 feet away) but just didn't make it.

She doesn't seem unhappy today. We are going to play at a friend's house this afternoon, so should be able to tell how clingy she's feeling then. She had to come with me to the dentist today, and allowed the dentist to check her teeth and watched placidly while mine were checked and cleaned. I think I'm generally more able to watch her signals (and more tuned into them as she's my child) than the childminder, so she has fewer accidents with me.. maybe that's just making her want me to be around at the moment, and as she gains confidence in using the potty/loo she won't need me so much?

The less persuading is definitely good, isn't it... otherwise it just becomes a bit of a battleground (did with dd1, anyway)

MAybe she gets distracted and forgets at the childminders? I guess you are more 'on the case' than the childminder is or can be (if she has other mindees)

Bit more progress tonight I think... having done a tiny bit of poo in pants, then been persuaded onto the potty to do another tiny bit, she told me it was all finished. I didn't think it looked like it was from her body language, but said 'ok, well, if you think any more is coming then the potty is just here' and then left her to it and came upstairs (she had nothing on her bottom half, and we have hard floors fortunately!). About 5 minutes later I hear her clunking the potty up the stairs to empty her (not inconsiderable) deposit into the toilet.

I really think it is starting to sink in now, so I'm hoping by the time she has to go to the childminder again next Tuesday she will be feeling more confident. Only two more weeks then I'm on holiday for a fortnight, which means 19 consecutive days with her (as I only work 2 days a week). I'm really hoping that will clinch it for her.

Hi Biccy, we're making more progress here. generally it's one acident a day and I was very impressed this morning when she did a wee on the loo (we've got a fifi padded seat that initially she wasn't sure about but today seemed to like it)
I don't think we can go back now after making so much progress and she loves the stickers and chocolate stars we use as bribes, and always says no if I offer a nappy, she wants to wear pants. So Iguess the washing machine and carpet will have to put up with it for a bit longer

Sorry just seen this and only read it quickly but my DD was simular. She was soo scared of doing a poo, when she first saw it in the potty she could not understand why we were praising her, it completely scared her!
We stared potty training when she was 2 and 4 months and we stayed in and did the whole leaving just pants on and she was traumertised! She would refuse to wee and then had loads of accidents so had to go back to nappies until about 3 months later when I just one day put her in pants and she on ly had 2 or 3 accidents and none with me . She would not wee if I asked her but I too would just remind her that we were about to go somewhere or do something and there may not be a loo and she would eventually have a wee, she is stubborn!
I stopped asking her to go as she made a deal of it so would just say things like "right we will be going out in a bit so you better have a wee before we go when you need one"! Also a step and seat on the loo made it better as she hated doing a wee in front on any one so she could use the loo on her own. I did keep a potty downstairs in the other room and would also say during the day "your potty is in the other room if you need it" and afew minutes later she would toddle off and go. Sometimes I found asking her or taking her would cause too much stress so best let her do it by herself. They also learn that if they dont go they will have an accident and it is actaully not very nice!
We also would tell her in the morning that when she got up and went for a wee she could come in to mummy and daddys bedroom but not before and that worked a treat , bribing and treats are fab and a sticker chart too!
Good luck, sounds like she is doing really well anyway.

Jenwa, that is really helpful
yes with dd it has become a bit of a battleground so I am going to attempt the relaxed attitude and your suggestions over the wekend

have two identical rolls of stickers one to go on outside of potty for every visit and one to give her once she's done something. 2 pairs of knickers should do the trick if toweling trainers aren't around now. every half hour makes a rod for your own back and and encourages the child to want to go that often once they are clean and dry.