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Parenting

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Original poster

Pocket money - I would like some views please!

35 replies

Clary · 26/04/2009 23:46

Chatting about this to DC, they revealed that a number of their friends (not all) get what I consider excessive amounts of pocket money - like £5 or even £10 a week.

They are 9 and 7 and get £1/week - to be saved up or maybe spent on a few Match Attax or similar (not sweets really, maybe a mini fudge or such).

Now DD does say friend a gets 50p etc, but then adduces friend b and c who get £7 and £10. I wonder what they are spending it on - what I mean is that if I gave my DC £10 a week (ie £30 gasp) I would frankly expect them to be paying out for footie training or ballet class or Brownies out of that - and then maybe decide if they want to go or would rather by a DS game every 2 weeks.

What does everyone think?

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Original poster

Clary · 26/04/2009 23:47

Sorry "buy" not "by" a DS game

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 26/04/2009 23:48

i think it's excessive! although maybe the friends do chores and earn more money???

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 26/04/2009 23:54

My 6 and 9 year olds notionally get 60p and 90p a week respectively. In reality, I rarely give it to them and they never remember to ask for it. They always have money in their piggy banks anyway birthday/tooth fairy money etc and don't ever seem to want to spend it.
DD1 is 11 and when she started secondary school in September we opened a bank account for her. She gets £20 per month and is expected to use that for mobile phone top ups, trips to the cinema/pool with her friends, magazines, make up and anything other discretionary spending.
I think the amounts you are talking about are surely not typical for children of that age - what you do seems eminently reasonable to me.

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sleeplessinstretford · 27/04/2009 08:54

my 14 year old now gets half her family allowance into her bank account, this is to be used for going out etc etc-i buy her a £10 top up every month and give her money for clothes/going out.
I wouldn't have thought they needed pocket money until they are 'independently going out without you' ie if they want a magazine when you are out do you not just buy them it? Secondary school seems to be the time they branch out to cinema et. Lady glencora,i would be amazed if your £20 went anywhere near far enough? Ours gets that in her account and we always end up having to hand out bits for money for lunches and stuff if she's going out? where do you live

seeker · 27/04/2009 09:01

My 13 dd gets £20 a month - or she does when I haven't stopped it to pay for her second lost bus pass! I buy essential clothes and pay for clubs and things. I also top up her phone £10 a month. Everything else comes out of her £20.

Ds is 8 and gets £5 a month - once again, I pay for clubs and things and all his clothes.

Not chore related - I don't believe basic pocket money should be related to jobs.

The can earn extra money by doing jobs apart from what I expect of them to do as a matter of course.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 27/04/2009 09:04

DD (10) gets £3 per week but if she saves it, it doubles (she is only allowed to buy birthday presents, Christmas presents, holiday money with savings)

This means she very rarely spends her pocket money on crap like sweets and magazines. She gets a small chocolate bar/sweet/ice lolly as her after school snack so she doesn't feel hard done by with regard to sweet stuff.

sleeplessinstretford · 27/04/2009 09:05

we are looking at what we do money wise as it's not really changed since she went to secondary school and also-we might be better off giving her more for herself and then telling her that's your lot-for clothes etc. it's so hard as now she wants 'pauls boutique this' and 'adidas' that-i am not shelling out for that kind of thing in addition to everything else-we're thinking of £50 a month all in and then £100 twice a year for clothes/coats/shoes-if she wants anything else she has to work for it.

cuppateaplease · 27/04/2009 10:19

DS (just turned 11) get £2 a week, plus nan buys him a beano each week. (I pay for all outings, scouts etc)
He generally saves his money to spend on 'extras' eg lego, cartoon books, ps/computer games, spending money on days out to buy those oh so essential toys from the gift shops! But he is still building an impressive balance in his building society account!
£2 has been weekly pocket money for a few years now and he hasn't asked for a raise yet!
I can imagine giving more to older, more independent, children but not at this younger age. Afterall what do they spend it on? Clary is there something your Dc want to spend additional money on?

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 27/04/2009 11:43

Sleepless, DD finds £20 is plenty - £10 of phone credit lasts her for three months and she is careful with her money. We live in a smallish town - she goes into town with her friends but they rarely have lunch in town - maybe Subway once a month or so if someone has discount vouchers.
I am sure at 14 she will want to do more, but £20 seems to more than cover her needs right now. I buy all her clothes though.

seeker · 27/04/2009 11:54

The trouble with giving them money which they have to use to pay for everything is that they might run out of money before the end of the month and need something essential. So you end up paying for it - and before you know it you're spending far more than you meant to. That's why I giver her a bit less than some and pay for clubs and essential clothes and basic toiletries. Oh, and basic birthday presents for friends - she can contribute if she wants something special for a particular friend. I would be annoyed if she ran out of money in Week 3 and I had to buy a present, some tights, Scout subs and anti-perspirant - stuff she couldn't do without - in Week 4. If you see what I mean.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 27/04/2009 12:38

I agree, Seeker, DD's pocket money is only enough to pay for non-essentials. Make-up comes out of it, but not toiletries for instance. And I pay for her dance classes etc. I think they need a bit of time to learn how to budget before moving on to the next step.

blametheparents · 27/04/2009 12:54

DS is 7 ans he gets £2.50 a week, which his Nan gives him.

purpleduck · 27/04/2009 13:02

Mine are 7 and 9 and they each get £10 a month.

Things they need, we buy (clubs included),
Things they want. they buy.

This was inspired by my niece who came to visit (14yo) who had no concept of the value of money.

My dd spant all hers in one go last month, and was v sad that she had nothing left for the rest of the month.

OH, dd also has to pay for the odd thing for her hamster

Original poster

Clary · 27/04/2009 23:38

LOL at just buying them a magazine when they want it! Your DC must be rather less demanding than mine sleepless!

Cuppatea no I don?t think there is anything they particularly want; apart from DS2 (6yo ? wasn?t there when we were having this £10/week chat!) who is the most demanding of the 3 and he is diligently saving for a DS ? I have promised to buy it when he has saved £50 which will take at least a year?

The idea of the pocket money was that I wouldn?t need to keep shelling out for stuff like comics, trading cards, puppy in my pocket. If they want it they have to buy it, maybe saving up. Also aiming to teach them about value of saving.

Just felt that up to £10 a week was an awful lot for a 9yo; that would buy a lot of Match Attax

Looks like most of you agree so I feel happier now

I think it's totally a different kettle of fish for teenagers btw.

OP posts:

sleeplessinstretford · 28/04/2009 08:10

my eldest is almost 15-she wasn't too bad as a kid in terms of asking for stuff so that coupled with 'single mother working full time in a job that requires overnight stays' guilt sort of evened itself out.
To be honest she's not that bad now either,she has sussed that if she wants one thing then she might have to forgo another thing or do something sterlingly good to earn the cash. I don't like her being short of cash though as i think that coupled with peer envy and teenage rebellion can lead to all sorts.Doesn't help that she's at 'posh school' and we are easily the skintest family in her form group.

PMSLBrokeMN · 28/04/2009 08:30

That sounds like a lot! DS is 7, he gets £5.20 a month, DD who is 11 gets £10.40 - odd numbers I know but they get an extra 20p per week 'pay rise' each birthday! We give them the money monthly by standing order straight into their bank accounts so they can get used to monthly budgeting. Like others, pocket money is for wants not needs (which means DD is always begging for more!)

In addition, DD gets £5 a month mobile credit, although that sometimes lasts her 2 months as she's actually learned to walk over and talk to people rather than texting them. Also, we've made it clear to both of them that when they're old enough to do paper rounds/whatever, the pocket money stops - in other words if they want money they need to get a part-time job!

lljkk · 28/04/2009 12:02

18.10 every 2 months for ds1, & £14.30 for dd. Minus any penalties for bad behaviour. Works out same as around 1.50/wk for dd & 2 quid/wk for ds9. This is more than most their friends.

Every 2 months brcause they fritter it on cheap junk if doled out any more often. This way they have to plan & think about it.

Bramshott · 28/04/2009 12:06

DD1 is 6 and doesn't get pocket money yet. I had thought of giving it but she doesn't take care of the money she does get (is always using it to play with in her room and doesn't seem to see the difference between real money and toy money in that regard) so until she can do that, no pocket money here!

Snorbs · 28/04/2009 12:32

My two are about the same age as the OP and they get £2 each a week although not, necessarily, as cash in their hot and sticky hands. Instead, I keep a running total of how much they've saved and then fork it over when they want to buy something.

I'm not sure if it's better to do it this way rather than giving them the actual cash (and I do give them the cash if they ask for it), but it does mean I get some influence over their buying decisions - I've not had to completely veto anything yet, but I'm sure that time will come. They generally spend it on toys or comics. They go through periods where they'll save, and there have even been times when they've pooled their money together to get something special (eg, the Nintendo DS "100 Classic Books" cartridge ). That left me gob-smacked because I never did anything like that with my brother...

seeker · 28/04/2009 14:04

Ah, there's a difference of view here. I think that they should be able to fritter their pocket money away on cheap junk if they want to. I think the whole point of pocket money is that they can do what they want with it - that's why I buy mine the essentials and pitch their pocket money accordingly.

jack99 · 28/04/2009 14:18

My 9yo DD gets £1 a week, but I often forget to give it to her. However, she has been keeping a ledger and the other day presented me with a bill for £30!

I guess it is good for developing her money skills!

Takver · 28/04/2009 15:06

My 7 yo dd gets 52p a week, she mostly spends it on sweets. FWIW most of her friends don't, I think, get pocket money at all.

The odd amount is because of compromise between me & dh - he was given a pocket money rise whenever he learnt another times table, I think that learning should be for her benefit & not a subject for bribery. So dd gets a penny a week extra for each table learnt as recognition of the achievement but too small an amount to count as bribery!

Takver · 28/04/2009 15:07

By the way OP have you got independent verification of the 'friends getting £5' or might it be that old chestnut of 'everybody gets more than me/is allowed to have their ears pierced/can go out til 2am' etc . . .

blametheparents · 28/04/2009 19:26

jack99 Your post made me laugh. Is she charging you interest?

PortoPandemico · 28/04/2009 19:31

My 5 yo dd gets 5 euros a week - so is obviously excessively spoilt! We've only just started on this, and she knows she can spend it on a magazine (say a Numberjacks comic costs the best part of that here) , or save it up for toys/DVDS.

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