Anyone placing artificial limits on their family due to age?

[BeehiveBaby]

IE. Are you fertile for the foreseeable but you / DH don't want him in his 60s in a house with teenagers?

I'm 27 and would ideally wait a few years after our two then have a few more but DH was 40 on Friday. He is up for it but I almost think I should save him from himself!Could squeeze one more in and have an empty house at 60 probably but I would definitely rather another pair later.

hmm i reckon men can get away with having kids older anyway.
why doesn't he want them in the house when he is 60? he'll still be out at work then anyway :D

Yep, won't we all. He has got it into his head that he is definitely going to die early 70s and would like a good decade off beforehand. I have now made him sound very strange and morbid, haven't I?

i can only speak for myself here but OH and i both like the idea that our two will both be grown by the time we reach 40 and we see that as our time to be together and do couply things again without being parents. we do love being parents but we know that we will one day want our own space without children. if we had another child/ children in say ten years (were both 22) we feel it might mean postponing that time when we can be just us again, plus it means working for longer.

I was 41 when I became a mum for the first time (DH was 37). DD is 4 now and we love having a preschooler around Many of our friends are jealous of us, they say the time when their kids were this young was the happiest of their lives.

I'm in my 40's with one 8 year old. I love being an older mum.

I have lots of sisters who had their kids young and they are now grandparents, all very hands on, so they still have their parent heads on a lot of the time and still have caring responsibilities, though obviously, only part time.

My sisters do have a lot more freedom than I do though and can go away for weekends at the drop of a hat, go out for the night without arranging babysitters. BUT I like the fact that my child keeps me young. And by the time she's old enough to have kids of her own I'll be decrepit!

If I didn't have fertility issues I'd be putting my name down for a second and a third, but sadly, it's not to be. The fact that they might still be at home when we're in our 60's doesn't bother me much. Just means there'll be someone to make me cups of tea or at least call the doctor if my heart packs in on me

So, Bhb, are you saying that your dh would like more children now but you would like to wait?

Oooh, more replies

juule DH is flexible really, sometime in the next 10 years.

I think I feel so thrown because I never planned to start my family this early. I imagined mid 30s at the earliest. I suppose I want to see DDs as a bonus then resume my original plan, but then again, I was meant to be at university now...., oh well. It might also be odd having two pairs of children potentially with quite different upbringings.

I'm 42, dp is 51, ds is 4. Definitely not having another now - I want us to have some time together in our dotage! But if you want to have a career, I would have them close together.

I'm 45 with a 7 year old (decided not to try for another one due to my age and the length of time it took to get pg with ds). I hope I will still be feeling fit and healthy at 60!!

I do have friends my age who are grandparents, also friends my age who have two families - one they had in their teens/early twenties with one partner and a second family in their thirties with a new partner.

However, if I was you, and I knew that I would want another child eventually then I would do it now, particularly if your DH is keen to have another child now, but not later.

My dad was 46 (mum 38) when I turned up (shortly followed by adopted sister); it kept him young: he didn't look over 50 till he hit 80 (he's now 86).

(As for me - I had my first at 37. If I could change things I'd have started at 20 and had 8...)

Yes. I was 39 when DS2 born and would have liked more. DH was 48 and we decided to stop as we had two healthy children.
DH will be 60 this year and will be 67 when DS2 reaches 18.
I suspect we made the right decision from DHs point of view.