Second day of potty training - DS is refusing to go on potty

[iwouldgoouttonight]

We started potty training DS (2.8) yesterday and it went so well - he had one accident but did the rest on the potty, wees and a poo. We asked him every 20-30 mins if he would like to go on the potty, sometimes he said no but sometimes said yes I need a wee, sat on the potty and did one. Then he was really excited and showed everyone the wee many times!

But today has been completely the opposite, he is refusing to go on the potty. We managed to get him onto it a couple of times and once caught a wee, but the rest of the time he weed in his pants. Sometimes he told us and sometimes he carried on what he was doing until we noticed.

We don't want to force him to go on the potty if he doesn't want to as I'm worried it will make the situation worse, but I don't know what to do!

I would have maybe suspected the potty was uncomfortable but he was fine all day yesterday and has been sitting on it on and off for over a month (just didn't do anything in it then). He definitely seems ready as he has been asking to wear pants for ages and started taking his own nappy off and sitting on the potty (but not doing anything), and yesterday he seemed to know when he needed to go.

When he had accidents I said there was nothing to worry about but maybe next time you could sit on the potty every so often in case you need to do a wee so you don't get your nice new pants wet and he seemed really keen. But then when I said come on then lets sit on it and maybe watch a bit of television/eat some chocolate/etc (I'm resorting to bribery!) then he flatly refused. Its almost as though he's scared of the potty.

Any advice on how to approach it tomorrow?

Not sure I will be much help but my lo seems to prefer the toilet with a toilet seat, she refuses the potty.
We started potty training our lo almost 3 weeks ago. For the first 8 days she just kept refusing the potty and toilet and having accidents everywhere but then on day 9 Im not sure what happened but something seemed to click and she started using the toilet.

hth

dd is being just like this - she was keen to sit on the potty before we started training but mostly flatly refuses now. She can hold wee in for ages but isn't recognising the signals in time and is weeing in her pants before she gets tot he potty. I had brief success with chocolate button bribery to encourage her to try sitting on the potty and she is a bit more interested in trying to sit on the toilet seat. We are on day 6 now and not much progress yet

Yesterday it was novel, now that novelty has worn off. Instead of asking if he needs to go, say "it's time to go and sit on the potty."

I started potty training my 2y7m old dd over the Easter holidays with similar results, she would hold it in for a very long time (wouldn't wee in the evening, dry overnight, wouldn't go in the morning until she'd wet herself, for instance). We had a few successes, but she didn't build on them and progress, unlike when I trained my ds. She will only sit on the potty when she knows she won't wee, has never volunteered to use the potty, and puts her foot down and refuses at the slightest suggestion if she is wriggling. (although she's managed a poo twice entirely on her own, she just won't do it for a wee).

I spoke to a couple of ladies at my ds's school, and they also had this problem with their dd's - one of them developed an infection from holding it in (I'm worried about this in particular). They took a break and went back to nappies, and when the little girl decided for herself that she wanted to do it, she trained overnight. The other lady I spoke to said she had the same problem, and persisted, and it took 3 months of her dd being dry overnight and just having loads of accidents and potty refusal during the day.

So, rather than persist, I'm taking a break and going back to nappies, just to take the pressure off her a bit.

Thanks for your replies. We've decided to give up for a bit and put him back into nappies. It was getting so every time we mentioned weeing or potties he would get upset, and all morning has flatly refused to go on the potty or toilet. We tried lifting him onto the potty but he just went rigid and got upset so think it s better to give him a break rather than risk making the potty into a big scary issue.

Can't believe i thought we'd cracked it after day one!

hoppy I'm in the same situation - have only been going a week but dd has never sat on the potty when she needs to go - unless I have managed to bribe her to sit on the potty at exactly the right time (e.g. when I was running the bath last night) we have only had accidents so far. She can hold wee in for ages - after loads of accidents the first day she is only weeing about 4 times per day but she is refusing to sit on the potty even when it is obvious to me that she needs to go. She then pees on the floor

newlark - yes, it can get quite worrying when they refuse to wee, can't it? It was coming up to 3 weeks potty training, and my dd would still run around and wriggle desperately, and would not sit on the pot to wee (whether I simply reminded her the potty was there, actively encouraged her or left her to her own devices). Sometimes she'd wee on the floor in the morning, and then then remain dry until the evening. She otherwised liked sitting on her pot and pretending. I just didn't think it was good for her health.

I was encouraged that I'd done the right thing by putting her back in nappies, when this morning, straight after breakfast, she looked suddenly surprised and said "I've done a big wee!" So I guess the signs that she needs to go still haven't quite clicked with her.

well, I think we're giving up - I put dd in pants for nursery and there were 2 accidents (one mostly on the potty - I think they have better luck than me at getting her to sit on it) then she weed on the floor 10 mins after getting home just after I had asked her to sit on the potty. She is getting quite upset every time she wets herself and being generally clingy. I've just put her in a nappy for her afternoon nap and will ask her if she wants to keep it on when she wakes up. I'll let her decide when she wants to try again - I guess that at least she will be more aware of what she is doing now though which will help when we try again.

Please don't think of it as 'failing', it's not. It's all good practice and when you try again it will happen much faster and click into place!