"if you don't push for your son to separate from you at nursery now, you'll end up sitting next to him when he's doing his GCSE's"

[emkana]

Apparently.

he's 2.10

You leave him when you feel ready (unless he's shoving you out the door and begging you to leave ! I didn't leave dd at nursery on her own until she was 3 and 3 months. Even then, I wept as I left the building .

Have the playgroup staff said anything to you about whether they think he's ready for a few minutes on his own? After all, they are the ones who know the setting better than the portage worker. BUT, overriding that, you are the one who knows your son best.

What portage worker said was obviously dumb.

However, I have to say that putting DD in part-time nursery at age 2 was the best thing we ever did. Until that point, she was the proverbial koala - never left my side, not even in baby group. Scared of other kids and would start to whine if one came close to her at the playground.

She went to that nursery a total of 6 hours per week for a full year, in a class for 18 months to 3 yro children. The before/after difference in her confidence, skills, and relationship with other kids was incredible.

What I am trying to say is that it might depend on the child. We had to push her into it, and the first hour I left her there was horrible, but it was a very good decision for us.

boolocks, imo.

haven't read entire thread, obviously

"boolocks".

So sorry, meant bollocks of couse, do hope I haven't killed your thread!

It's truly demented to say this about a 2.10 year old!

My DS is 3.1 and I have just started him at a school nursery this term. Having never been anywhere before without me, he was fine going there and I felt fine leaving him in the hands of capable and kind professionals. He has done 2 full days so far and he has been happy doing it. He does understand that I am coming back and that whilst he is at school, he will have fun with "friends and ladies"! I think it has come at just the right time for him and I don't think I would have left him any earlier than 3.1. I don't think he would have been ready either. Trust your instincts anyway.

emkana: Tell them to "Fuck Right Off"

What a load of all b**cks. ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

awww calm now!

The pre-school/nursery workers all told me this about DS. He hated me leaving him and he didnt actually speak to anyone at pre-school until the term he left! How good could that be for him? I took him once (he must have been 3yo) and they insisted I just left him! He was being held cuddled by a lovely member of staff and he launched himself over her shoulder and landed on my head/shoulders nearly knocking me over. He was distraught. I decided that his happiness was more important so I took him home but they kept on and on about how I would need to sit with him all his school life etc etc.
He started school at 4.5 years and went into class fine and still does now in year 3, so it proves its all crap!

I should add that if I stayed with DS I didnt just stay with him, I would help the staff but mixing paints, making tea, sweeping up the sand or reading to the children which was something they rarely did

It winds me up that people just add more and more pressure!

DS2 went to playgroup at 2.6 and wouldnt stay on his own - was hysterical if i even ventured near the door! Had lots of really nice comments like that from some of the other mum helpers but the main lady was quite supportive. In the end i stopped because he was so upset by it, he got really upset at the mention of playgroup, he stopped sleeping etc and this was supposed to be fun!

Fast forward to 3.4 and he started nursery and he wasnt the slightest bit bothered about me leaving him - waved me off on the first day and hasnt looked back since.

So just ignore - maybe consider parent and toddler groups instead

Everyone knows that 2 year olds go through clingy phases!

At the moment ds is finding it hard saying goodbye to me even if I leave him at home with dh, so I really don't feel I can leave him at playgroup at the moment.

I will be strong and ignore all comments

This is the trouble with having a portage worker, while we have benefited from having her for learning through play etc she now pesters advises me on things which I feel should be left up to me (and dh obv)

I had this from lots of people whith dd. She didn't stay at any pre school/nursery/creche settings atall untill she started nursery and 3 and a half.

SO many people said she would never settle, would cry, not want to leave me etc etc.
And she did (cry a bit) for a few days , which I expected, but she loves it now.

I truely believe that she wasn't ready to be left before and if I had made her it would have not helped her atall. I didn't need to leave her so didn't. I was one of the only mums not to send their child to the hallowed local pre school. They all thought I was mad.

I didn't.

Stick to your gut feeling and do what you know is right for your child.