5 week old ds seems to cry non-stop- help!

[pinkdolly]

Ds is my 4th baby. The others are all girls and although dd3 was a clingy baby she would at least go in a crib to sleep during the day.

Ds will not be put down, sometimes he will go to other people, othertimes (most times) he will shriek if I am not with him.

He seems to be soo insecure. I breastfeed and co-sleep. I also end up carrying him around in his wrap for most of the day. The hours spent in his his wrap have gradually been increasing due to his stroppyness.

DD1 (nearly 7) would usually hold him while I get changed in the morning and then I wrap him so that i can do the others. But he has become gradually more whingy with her (he used to fall asleep on her) and today screamed the place down with her.

Everything is suffering, I am tired and cranky, the house is becoming a mess as we are only doing the things that have to be done (dh is being very good but is sooo busy). And the girls are losing out on time with me. I must admit tho the wrap is a godsend as i really do not know where i would be right now if i couldn't wrap him on me and get on with some things.

Has anyone any experience of a child like this? How did u work around it? How long did it take for things to get better?

I am contemplating talking to the hv about it but am worried they might advise cc and i dont think that is fair on such a small baby.

Thanx

Pink

Hi Pink. The HV wont suggest CC and most childcarers, esp nurseries wont accept a baby under 6 weeks, some even wont till 3 months.(i hope cc meant childcare )

Boys cry more than girls.
Have you ruled out colic/reflux?

Does he seem well?

I would speak to the HV if you have confidence in her, about how your feeling and just ask advice on how to manage your day better.

Have you got no other family to help you clean the house? Why cant you ask your mum or your sis/sis in law to help you one day a week?

Could you afford a cleaner once a week? You'd only have to pay them around £9 for the hour?
And you may only need her for the hour too just to help you out a bit.

Hes going to be a mummy's boy!!!!!!

Will he not settle on ur DH? Could he not wrap him up and carry him round the house while you do a bit of tidying up.

Also...How long would he cry for if you put him down? Woud he not eventually fall to sleep?

Theres nothing wrong with carrying your baby around all the time, what do you think they do in africa?

What about an au pair? She could do all the house duties/kids stuff/and youd only have to pay her about £60 a week? Which leaves you time with your ds.

think cc means controlled crying?

cc - controlled crying isn;t for a baby under 6months.

Have you tried swaddling your ds and maybe using a vibrating chair or a swing chair?

Having something you have had close to you near his face so he gets your scent when your not close.

Is you DD (7) getting upset by his crying so he is also getting more upset?

Oh ok thanks both. Yes i agree, cc is not for younger babies. And MatNan's suggestion of putting something that smells like you near him. I used to wrap dd in my fleece in just her nappy. It was soft and smelt like me. I also BF and she was/still is v.clingy.

"Controlled crying

If all other methods have failed, controlled crying is the most effective way to sleep-train babies over 6 months.

It is an intense technique and takes a lot of commitment and perseverance but can be very successful in getting your baby to sleep through. If your baby is still feeding in the night, however, it's a good idea to try the core night method to ensure he isn't crying from genuine hunger."
www.askbaby.com/Baby-sleep-training.htm

Both of my boys have been like this. At 5 weeks I would think that many many babies are. The things that have helped me are swaddling, constant sling wearing, loud gentle music, vibrating chair. It doesn't last forever but it sure feels like it at the time!

Thanx for your replies. So many questions to answer. i will try and get through them all.

Chellesgirl
He does get colic so have been giving him gripe water, I think that s one reason he likes beng wrapped so much (have heard it can help). Otherwise he is well.

I do have family close by but hey dpo have a lot on their plate.

Cant really afford a cleaner ot au-pair unfortuanatly (that would be my dream right now).

Dh does wrap him also. Sometimes he will stay with him, othertimes he will cry.

And i hate to leave such a tiny baby to cry for too long (its heart breaking). He cried for ages yesterday whilst i was getting changed and just got more and more agitated as time went on.

matnanplus

Have tried swaddling but he is not keen.

He does have a blanky which he sleeps on next to me (therefore i sleep on it too), he also is wrapped in this when not in his wrap so this has my scent on.

And no my dd doesnt get upset she is very good with him, but i dont like to leave him screaming on her, dont think it is fair on her.

StarlightMcKenzie

Yes breadtfeeding on demand, have never gone in for the whole feed them every so many hours. If he's hungry he gets it.

It might be worth me dragging the electric swing out and giving that a go I suppose.

thanx for your help

Pink. I think its the colic. Read this

I really would try the swing and give it a good go, i would try to settle him in when he is calm in the beginning and fingers crossed.

I'm with Starlight on this one....without meaning to sound critical it's not uncommon for a baby in a busy family to never quite be able to finish a feed - because packed lunches need to be done, school runs exist etc etc etc.

Sometimes being in the sling will calm a baby down who could actually do with a bit more breast - and maybe he's old enough now not to be fobbed off with a snuggle in his wrap? So is complaining more?

Is there anyway you could spend a couple of days offering both breasts, loads of skin to skin, loads of latching on - and see if that helps?

hi pinkdolly! I have a bf 5 week old and a 2 year old ,and I agree with others who say it's hard to concentrate enough on their feeding with older kids around (and I only have one older kid!). I noticed that on days my son is not at nursery she feeds much worse, just because I am distracted by his needs.

Could you try to totally prioritise his feeding for a couple of days, really make sure he is getting enough, strip him off a bit to wake him up etc. Then make sure he has been upright to burp enough, then swaddle up tight and bung him in the cot. I find the sound of the hoover (operated by DH of course) does wonders to send DD off.

My DD is sleeping ok at the moment fingers crossed, I am basically doing a routine with her which fits more or less in with my son's, feeding her bigger feeds 3 hourly and trying to keep her awake more in the day. BUT she has bad colic in the evenings no matter what, think it is just this age, and takes 1.5 hours to put down in the evening. Also she gulps her feed and then gets terrible colic, they can't really pace themselves.

Good luck, I can only sympathise and am full of admiration that you manage to do this with 4! It is so unrelenting, isn't it!! I keep saying to myself that it's all so brief and we should enjoy it as they'll soon be grown up and will never phone us etc....

I went through this too with Dd and it went on for a looooong time.

I hope you can get it sorted as it becomes soul destroying. I wanted to kill her.

With colic, frequent short feeds can exacerbate it- try and get him to space feeds out to 2 hours min between (ie- start of 1 to start of next) maybe by going for a walk etc. I am sorry you are dealing with this with 3 others though- it was hard enough with my dd, and she was only.
Theres loads of threads on here about it- including an ongoing support thread I think.

Also (and I know its difficult with your other dcs) try and put him down to sleep the instant he's tired... with my ds (11wo) he wakes- feeds, plays, then 1 hour after waking time is ready for a nap so I put him down... he sleeps about 2 hours then we go again- it has meant he is a lot more settled as he isnt getting ivertired, and I know dd definitely was.
All my sympathy though, its hard work. As solo says- it is utterly destroying

my 6wo is the same. i also have a 2yo as well. i find it impossible to put baby down during the day. he will fall asleep bf but the second he is put down he wakes screams and wants bf again! he also gets bad trapped wind. he has gradually got worse over the last week. just thought tho my dad died a week ago so maybe this is a factor. ie i am stressed.

hope things get better. just keep telling yourself it is just a phase!

my ds was the same, i knew there was something wrong, turned out he was dairy intolerant, so i cut out dairy whilst breastfeeding and he calmed down. I think he was just in pain in his little tummy and so needed to be cuddled and not lay flat on his back which makes stomach pain worse. Could this be the problem? They like to feed constantly because it soothes the pain.

I had a baby bjorn bouncy chair which also soothed him when he was about 2 months on

dd2 was like this, she was held for the first 5 months of her life. Every evening to give me a break dh walked her round the village in a sling until she dozed off and then he came home and worked with dd2 still in the sling.

Once she could roll around she seemed alot happier to be left.

She is now 3 and one of the happiest most contented children around.

you're very lucky to have gotten to baby number 4 without a colicky child, our DS (first) was, and it is horrible! First of all, REMNID YOURSELF YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB, AND YOU ARE A GREAT MUM! ok, now take baby to the doctor to check for reflux (much more common in little boys that little girls) Tricks for dealing with colic/reflux- very upright baby chair/swing, gaviscon infant, lactose free formula (1 feed a day given by DD or DH, try it so it gives you a break and maybe will help baby settle- i know i'll be lynched by mumsnet for this, but you need a break!) Also, try deep breakthing excercises when you are holding him, sit on the coach, chill, close your eyes, block out crying etc, he will feel your heartbreat slow right down and it will relax him. COLIC DOES PASS, and you will have a gorge smiley bby at the end of the day. Good luck

I don't think giving a formula feed is the answer naomi. It sounds as though OP's baby likes the comfort of being close to her and someone else giving a formula feed will possibly make baby more distraught thereby putting OP into a more stressful state than she is now...her Dh will be giving her the breaks she needs(though I'm sure not as many as she'd like)without 'alternative' feeding and it's good that it sounds like she's getting reasonable support from him(I had none).

Do speak to your HV pinkdolly, you don't have to take their advice if you don't want to and I'd doubt cc would be suggested at your Ds's young age anyway. kind