So, what to do with a 4 yr old DS who wees his pants every day?

[GeorgeAndTimmy]

Thread partly in response to the AIBU one, but wanted some constructive opinions please...

DS is just 4, been trained for over a year now. Has accidents most days (5 out of 7 I reckon). He does it because he can't be bothered to go upstairs to the loo, or because he doesn't want to stop what he is doing. He isn't bothered by it, and happily carries on with soggy pants and trousers (the accidents are not wee on the floor scale). When prompted he will, with bad grace, put the wet ones in the machine and gets new dry ones (and go for a proper wee too).

I don't see that he is 'too little' to understand this is not acceptable. How can I make him care about this though? I have told him I am reluctant to take him out in case he wees himself, but it still doesn't bother him. He does it at nursery too, where it deosn't seem to embarrass him, but I am worried about when he starts school and him becoming the 'boy who smells of wee'.

Anyone had similar/got any ideas? (tried postive star charts, chocolate rewards, taking away toys...

Having similar problems with my dd, I self-refered when she was 5 to the districh school nurse, who refered me to the Eneuresis Clinic, who advised me to insist that my GP refer us to a paediatrician. It turns out that dd had a neurological problem that should resolve as she grows up, but ATM she is on medication that seems to be helpfing.

The Enuresis Clinic were very helpful with support and practical advice.

Generally GPs will not refer wetting issues before the age of 5 or 6, but such frequent wetting is, IMO, such a problem that it is worth making a fuss over. AFter all, why should my dd have waited another couple of years, after which there would likely have been major social issues to address, as well as the physical ones.

One thing that does not help, ironically enough, is caring about it. The fact that you are bothered makes no difference to your ds, if anything becomes a button for him to press. So you need to chill about it. Yes, I know it's tough!