Ideas for ways to gradually develop a child's independence...

[Legacy]

I know there are various threads raging about "Is 9 too young for x,y,z etc" and I don't really want to get into an argument about the rights/wrongs of different scenarios.

I'm more interested in finding out the variety of ways you all have (safely, in your opinion) developed your children's independence.

For my two (DS1 (9) and DS2 (6) it would be things like:

• Playing outside in the street with neighbours
• Walking ahead of me when walking to school
• Getting them to 'do things for themselves' e.g. paying for things in shops, going to get their own food in cafes
• Letting DS1 go to a different shop when we're on the High Street

• Letting them disappear off in the park while I have a coffee with friends (but mostly still within sight)

• letting them go to holiday clubs (tennis, cricket etc) where the kids all hang out together with minimal adult supervision

• sleepovers (DS1 only so far)

• sending DS1 to the shop for us when on holiday in a little village (too far away at home)

But I'm still struggling to know how to continue to 'let them off the leash' (especially DS1).

All ideas gratefully received....

Message withdrawn

interesting thread.

What about assertiveness as well - ie when and how it is ok to speak up for yourself, or to say 'no'? As well as personal safety (ie stranger danger etc), independence comes from assessing and speaking up for what you think is right in any situation.

iheart - I agree, assertiveness is important too.

I sometimes worry my kids are too nice, and because they've been brought up to be polite, share things, not swear etc I sometimes see them 'floundering' when they are faced with other children who do not have the same values.

And then it's really hard to explain that they mustn't be a 'push-over' either! Difficult...

Still looking for ideas!