Right, I'll try again shall I? My little darling cherub is getting me up every night and I want it to stop, like, YESTERDAY!

[Rhubarb]

Thank you to those of you who already gave advice, but due to my sleep-deprived brain I had to delete the whole thread because of an inappropriate word and someone saying they wouldn't have any sympathy with my plight because of the word I used. (That person obv not knowing my circumstances very well.)

Ds is 5. He's a bad sleeper but he CAN sleep through. He'll often go through phases of waking up but then we'll crack it and he'll sleep through again.

This phase is the longest lasting. He is waking every night. Sometimes twice or 3 times. It can be for a drink, but more often it's nightmare related. Not night terrors note, but nightmares.

He used to sit in bed and cry, getting louder until one of us would go to him (usually me). I thought that if he came into our room when he had a nightmare, that'd save me getting out of bed at least. That worked for a while, but now when I send him back to bed, he'll sit on his bed and sob. He does seem genuinely upset.

He has a light shining in his room (because he doesn't like the dark). I've put things under his pillow to keep the nightmares away, I've lined up his superheroes to look after him, I've threatened him, I've devised a reward chart. None of this works.

Coming into our bed is NOT an option. This is exactly what he wants and will only encourage him.

I need a plan.

Another random thought which is probably irrelevant.

Is he dry at night? Because it's been the need to wee that's been waking my lazy 5 year old up in the night. Not that we knew that at the time though, because he couldn't/wouldn't tell us. Since implementing the rewards for actually getting up in the night instead of just weeing in nappy I've noticed the correlation between when he used to wake and when he now has a wee.

Still, probably your ds is dry at night and it's only my lazy one who's still using the nappies!

(Disclaimer re the whole nighttime dryness thing - yes I know some children still need nappies, yes I know it's normal, yes I know it's a hormone thing, but trust me in this case it's just my ds being lazy )

A friend of mine did the sleeping ont eh floor thing - her hope was that her DD wouldn't like sleeping on a hard floor, but it didn't stop her - and then after about 4 months of that, she said to her that she was sleeping all night now, so the nightmare must have gone,and wouldn't let her back in.
I have to say though that the DD did sleep on the floor on teh landing right outside the bedroom door, this went on till she was 10!, she started doing it of her own accord after not being allowed back into her parents room

DS was like this at a similar age, but nowhere near as bad. We told him if he couldn't get back to sleep he could turn the light on and read a book - more often than not I'd go to wake him up in the morning and he'd be fast asleep, hugging a book, with the light still on!

So if you think it's getting back to sleep that's the problem it might help to try something similar - after all, it's what adults do in the same situation. The only danger is I suppose he might just think it's OK to get up and start playing, but I have to say DS didn't and usually he's good at getting up to mischief!

Try a story tape he can turn on for himself?

I've put his walkman next to his bed so he can turn that on if he wakes up, it has headphones so he won't disturb us.
Actually, of course it has bloody headphones is a bloody walkman you stupid woman!

He's dry at night Gipfeli, have you tried the "new pyjamas" thing? Take him on a special shopping trip, make it into a "Look who's turned into a Big Boy Day!", ice-creams and he gets to choose his very own big boy pyjamas.

Hopefully he'll be so proud of them and the fact that he's a big boy, he won't wee in them. If he does, act all disappointed and say you might have to take them away because they're for big boys only and big boys don't wee at night.

Yes it may be psychologically damaging but since they'll accuse of us that anyway once they hit 16 you might as well give them some ammunition.

PMSL, thanks that is a useful idea, so long as he doesn't wander into the living room and turn on the TV! I may try that though.

I don't know if this is relevant but my DD always sleeps better when we've had good chunks of one to one play in the day and me concentrating on giving her some attention.

Right well, Tues night he got up at around midnight because we'd forgotten to put a drink in his room. Fair enough, I got him a drink and that was that.

Lots of praise the next morning, stars etc.

Last night he had a drink in his room. I had a talk to him about being able to put his walkman on if he got scared etc. Went to bed sulking and with a tant (sister was too tired to play with him) but went to sleep fine.

Around 2am I was woken by a cry from his room. One of those cries they utter when they've just woken from a nightmare. Then all quiet. I congratulated myself on the methods working and went back to sleep. Around 20mins later, not sure, he came into our room - nightmare.

Is he really having this many nightmares? Just don't know what to do next.

my dd went through a couple of stages of having nightmares, she doesn't so much now

In desperation I took my dd to a cranial osteopath just before her 4th birthday as she regularly used to wak 2/3 times per night most nights. She would just be awake or sometimes "a bad dream".

It did work, there was a huge improvement after one treatment and another couple saw the end of it.

have the same problem here with DS 4.5 - so you have my sympathy!

I do a multi-pronged attack.

Before bed and during the day, I try and re-inforce the message. If he wakes up, Mummy and daddy are down the corridor and to cuddle bear and go back to sleep. Don't wake Mummy up - she will be tired and cross.

Reward for a week of no wake-ups, and no chocolate (over Easter) for nights he does get me up!

earlier bedtimes too - he wakes more when he is overtired - even 15 minutes will often crack this on the head.

With my DS he does the same - thinks of an excuse once he is awake. Monsters, robots, needs a wee etc. The other night I got up because I could hear him coughing, he was asleep. Stuck my head back round the door 2 minutes after first checking on him (bathroom stop) and he was bolt upright and calling out.... I think they form a habit of waking and calling straight out, rather than re-settling themselves back down - if that make sense. I am sure it is a natural anxiety of whether anyone else is there (I remember this myself)

WE had a bad patch before xmas - coincided with decorating Ds room, so he was in his bed in our room. He stopped waking and continued to sleep through once he was back in his own room. I think that re-inforced that we were there in bed all night etc.

Hope some of this is useful - best of luck!

Just had another thought - I have always gone out asap when he called out. Thinking that the quicker you get there - the less wound up they are and the easier they resettle (I often go in to Ds when we are in a bad patch with my eyes half shut!)

I would definately try and get him to stay in his own bed.....

My parents used to just call out to us - and to tell us to go back to sleep and that was enough reassurance!

My DS has a fan on in his room (no odd noises at night to complain about) so unfortunately he can't hear if I try that one!

Thanks jazz. Last night he slept through. We've told him that if he wakes up, he can turn the hall light on, which shines brighter. I might try the calling out thing too, just to reassure him that I am there.

I must admit I thought the same as you, that the quicker I got there, the quicker he would go to sleep and I wouldn't have time to become fully awake. But he has formed this habit of just coming into our room now.

Earlier bedtimes are a good idea, I'll try that too.