Best Age Gaps

[GothAnneGeddes]

I'm nearly twenty nine and I've not long had our first child.

We'd definitely like two more, but everyone has different opinions on what sort of age gap to have.

What age gap do you think is best?

We have 22 months between ds1 and ds2, and 3 yrs 3 months between ds2 and ds3

Would have had smaller gap between 2 and 3 if I could have persuaded my dh sooner that a third baby was a good idea, and I'd not had a m/c...

I reckon smaller gaps are good because children are more likely to be good friends.

Also reckon it's hard work but worth it.

I have had all mine close together. It is hard but works well for us as family days out etc are easy to organise.
there is 2.2yrs between ds and dd1
12mths between dd1 and dd2
dd2 will be 2.5yrs when dd3 is born in june and ds will be 5.6yrs and dd1 will be 3.5yrs

whatever gap you get you just work with - all with have their ups and downs. don't agree that smaller gaps = good friends tho, that's just anecdotal info

I have a 7 year old, 4 year old and 2 year old
and have found the smaller gap much harder but maybe that's b/c I have 3 and with the bigger gap I only had 2 (and was youger!)

Anyone have a 2.6yr age gap?
That's (fingers crossed!) what we'll have.
Do you think what sex the children are makes a difference?

I have 2.4 year gap between my Dd and Ds and it works really well but i put most of that down to my Dds nature rather than age, she's very kind and paitent with Ds and so they get along really well she was always fairly independent so when ds was newborn she was able to help me out quite a bit and walked well so no need for a double buggy.

Ds is now 22 mo and i can't imagine him being such a good big brother if we were to have another in 4 months time IFYSWIM.

I'm not sure that it's as easy as deciding on the age gap. Decide when you feel ready to have another, and then start 'trying'.

Thanks for all your answers so far.

I'm sorry if my question offended you Pinkjenny. You are right, ttc can throw the whole age gap issue out of the window.

As I said in the OP, you hear so many different opinions, I was curious to hear the wisdom of Mumsnetters.

We have a 2.5 year gap between DS and DD. It took a while for DS to adjust as he was right in the middle of his 'terrible twos' but now DD is three months and it now all feels managable and hopefully they will be good friends.

But there are definitely pros and cons of any ages gap. E.g. it seems a bit more expensive having them closer together - we will have to pay for two at nursery for over a year until DS starts school, and two lots of nappies, and a double pushchair. But on the plus side looking after a baby is still all fresh in your mind, I'm not too old, etc!

Both me and DP have a four year gap between us and our siblings. My sister and I were really really close as children and never had a fight. But DP and his brother have never been very close so it seems to completely depend on the child.

4 years, my aunty had two close together and told me to wait, I wouldn't listen and had them close together, wish i'd waited.

I thought ours was too big (4 years) but thinking about it, it was quite good timing as you send one off to nursery/school and have the day/morning to spend with the next child.

I left 6 years between mine which was a long time I know. Today I have a 6 year old ds who adores and idolises his 12 year old brother. He, in turn, loves his little brother and has reveled in all his achievements and mile stones. Not ideal, as I realise they won't be 'mates' until they are both men, but it worked for us. I think the choice should come from your heart, not any text book or newspaper article. It's such a personal decision and whatever you choose, there will be pros and cons. Good luck

There's 15 months between dd1 and dd2 then a five year gap and 15 months between dd3 and dd4.

It was hard work with a toddler and a newborn, but worth it as they are very close.

The five year gap seems to have worked well too because dd1 and dd2 helped me with the younger two.

They all get on pretty well.

I have a three year exactly age gap between my girls and they are the best of friends now (5.5 and 2.5). They are much closer than some siblings I know who are closer in age, but who I rarely see playing together whilst we're out at soft play. Whereas DD1 doesn't dump DD2 when her friends come along iyswim. I think it is more to do with sex and temperment which makes them closer - having two girls who have complimentary personalities work, but of course you can't plan those!

The bonus of a three year gap was that it allowed DD1 to be a baby for longer and enjoy her baby years. She was also able to help more with DD2 - getting wipes etc and she was also a lot more independent (out of nappies, reliably putting herself on the toilet and so on...) The downsides is that initially she had sibling rivalry really bad.

Trouble with questions like this is, that everyone will tell you THEIR age gap is the best.

16m in my case. A bit grim the first 18 months but def easier now they are 3 and 4 - I couldn't bear to think of starting with a new baby when one is 3. Def worth all the hard work at first to have two who are really close and do all the same activities.

Less time to cough up for nursery fees too (although 3 years of it will have been for two children).

One family at nursery have 5 year age gaps. Each time one starts school they have another.