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Parenting

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Original poster

IS nine too young to be going for a weekend trip with school.

34 replies

MUMDONEGOOD · 21/04/2009 11:28

Anyone got some advice. My nine year old dd is going for a weekend away with the school. She has never been away before and I am terrified to the point of having nightmares. Is nine too young for weekend school trips or am I being too protective. You hear some real horrow stories and I am worried. Some parents aren't sending their kids because they feel they are too young. My dd begged to go so I said yes, but now its come round I am terrified, is this normal for me to feel like this.

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BonsoirAnna · 21/04/2009 11:30

Nine is fine for school trips, especially for just a weekend.

I started a thread recently about how Belgian school children apparently go on week long school trips in their last year of pre-school ie aged 5 .

MmeLindt · 21/04/2009 11:31

I was in the Brownies and we went away on pack holidays, I think that we were only about 8 or 9 yo.

I do think that if your DD is excited and keen to go then you should let her.

What exactly are you frightened of?

BonsoirAnna · 21/04/2009 11:32

Yes, I went on a pack holiday for a week when I was eight.

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BlueCowWondersAgain · 21/04/2009 11:32

A weekend is fine at nine. Has your dd done any sleepovers? With grandparents or friends? Maybe worth getting one in before the school trip if not, then you might feel happier.

DuffyFluckling · 21/04/2009 11:34

Not only not too young, but I think it's a great thing for her to be doing. I went away on Brownie camp when I was 7. Still remember it now. We had a blast.

Stretch · 21/04/2009 11:35

Our school does
1 night in year 3,
2 nights in year 4,
3 nights in year 5
and a full week in year 6.

I am a bit worried for her, (she's in year 2 still) but she seems fine so I have to be!!

hedgiemum · 21/04/2009 11:37

MY DD1's school do a long-w/e trip in y5 and a week trip in y6. DH is already adamant that he won't let her go - and she's only y2! (There was a tragedy in similar circumstances in his extended family).

I think its probably old enough for most children, but you need to feel comfortable about it.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 21/04/2009 11:37

DD2 is nine and she is off on a four-night school trip next week. She is wildly excited. She did a three-night Brownie holiday last year when she was 8. There were some seven-year-olds on it too.
Of course it is natural to be worried when your child goes away without you for the first time, but these trips are planned very carefully and are very safe. You need to hide your fears from your DD and show her you are happy that she is going off to have a great experience with her friends.

Original poster

MUMDONEGOOD · 21/04/2009 11:38

Thanks all. DD has never been away even to stay at grandparents overnight. Its just that I hear such horror stories on the news about children going missing etc. which is why I'm terrified. DD is so excited as she is seeing it as a great big sleepover. I never went away myself until an adult so I think I am not used to this kind of thing. DD is so sensible but I still worry that if something happens I'm not there.

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littlesilversnowbeetle · 21/04/2009 11:40

I think it's fine as long as you and she are comfortable with it.

I understand your worry, we've all heard the horror stories - but you will probably feel like that the first time she goes away without you whether she's 9 or 12 or 18.

Portofino · 21/04/2009 11:42

My dd (aged 5) spent 3 nights at Pirate Camp last week. Like you I felt sick with worry, but she was really looking forward to it, and had an absolutely fab time. She even washed her own hair in the shower, which impressed me. The only thing she didn't like was the spag bol they gave her! Your dd will be absolutely fine!

MmeLindt · 21/04/2009 11:45

The idea of letting go on a sleepover at a friend's house before the trip was a good one. Could you do that?

Try not to let her see that you are worried, otherwise it will spoil her enjoyment.

Original poster

MUMDONEGOOD · 21/04/2009 11:54

I am so glad I posted this. I don't have many people to talk to about things like this. DD is so sensible. She can't stop talking about the trip. Unfortunately, its this Friday so I cant arrange a sleepover beforehand. I guess I have to let her grow up and trust the school and her. I think thats the problem, I don't trust anyone to look after her except me, not sure why. Although I am not comfortable with it, I know that I have to let her go and she is so excited. I am trying my best not to show her that I'm worried although she has probably sensed it. I guess I have to be as strong as she is.

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LadyPinkofPinkerton · 21/04/2009 11:58

My BF is a teaccher and just took her class of 9 yo's away for an adventure weekend. She said it was great, the kids had a brilliant time. There were a few tears on the second night for their parents, but it was only because they were tired. Nobody was really upset.

Also they didn't allow mobile phones as they were worried the children would be more likely to feel homesick if they talked to their parents.

She will love it.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 21/04/2009 12:01

The letting go bit is one of the hardest parts of being a parent, I think. We have to do it though. I remember when DD1 went off on her first trip - she was 8. I stood beside the bus and cried as it pulled out. I was far from being the only one either!
You are doing the right thing, she will have a fantastic time with her friends.

andiem · 21/04/2009 12:03

My ds went away for the first time this year he is 8. I was worried but he was fine he said there was some crying but the teachers were excellent. They kept them so busy I think they hardly had time to be worried. They went to a place and pretended to be romans

Portofino · 21/04/2009 12:04

It's natural to think that no-one will look after her as well as you do. But trips are thoroughly risked checked from a H&S pov these days. My big worry was that they would "lose" my dd, but yours in a bit bigger and should understand about not wandering off.

When I left dd last week I blubbed uncontrollably and she looked at me all wide eyed and amazed. Mind you I blubbed when her train arrived home on Saturday (think final scenes of the Railway Children ) Dd's response - "You're silly, mummy"

littlesilversnowbeetle · 21/04/2009 12:05

If she's confident and happy to go, that means you have done a good job of protecting and nurturing her to this point. Be proud and enjoy the break!

Original poster

MUMDONEGOOD · 21/04/2009 12:08

You know what. You have all made me feel better about her going. I think I will have to start letting her go. She is very independent complete opposite to me, thats probably why I feel the way I do. We were brought up with a lot of fear which I guess I have carried with me. DD isn't like that she is more outgoing like her dad. I need to respect that aspect of her personality I think and not let my fears get in the way. Thank you all, all I have to do really is find something to occupy myself whilst she is away.

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Original poster

MUMDONEGOOD · 21/04/2009 12:11

Portofino, I will be exactly the same and my dd will probably say exactly the same thing as your daughter.

OP posts:

MmeLindt · 21/04/2009 12:11

Well done, you are doing really well to confront your fears and not let her life be ruled by them (as I suspect your childhood was).

Do you have anyone you can talk to about your childhood?

Original poster

MUMDONEGOOD · 21/04/2009 12:14

Have talked to someone. Most of the fears have been sorted out. Its just in instances like this which is not the norm that they come back. Once her trip is over, I guess another fear will be sorted out. Parenting can be really difficult can't it. It can shape a whole beings outlook and life.

OP posts:

andiem · 21/04/2009 12:16

mdg glad we have made you feel better
why don't you plan some lovely time with your dh while she is away

Stretch · 21/04/2009 12:30

What a lovely thread! Very supportive.

Portofino · 21/04/2009 12:33

I did think her often when she was away, what she was up to and whether she was OK. Mind you, i was doing the thinking in the pub, and in the restaurant, and during my lovely long lie in.....

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