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Parenting

family dynamics of having a girl and a boy

11 replies

Mog · 19/04/2003 20:10

Dd is nearly two and have recently had ds. This is new territory for dh and I as we both come from same sex families. Would be interested to hear from any of you who grew up with one sibling of opposite sex or who have had different sexes. Any advantages or disadvantages? I so loved having a sister to share girly things with, do different sexes miss out on this?

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XAusted · 19/04/2003 20:19

First thing that springs to my mind (have dd of 6 and ds of 4) is that the children get chance to play with each other's toys. Eg, ds can play with baby doll, dd can play with action man. Only a minor thing but it's someting I appreciate!

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whymummy · 19/04/2003 21:40

i agree with xausted my ds is 5 and dd nearly 3,i also think that having a brother makes the girl tougher and having a sister makes the boy more respectful to girls(no hitting girls,etc)mine get on really well most of the time although sometimes i wished i had two boys as my dd is a right little madam!!!

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Ghosty · 19/04/2003 21:53

My mum had two of each ... so I had the best of both worlds ... one sister and two brothers. Having brothers was and IS still fantastic. Although I was girly in that I liked ballet I was also a bit of a tomboy ... played cops and robbers with my brother, climbed trees, was into sports in a big way ...
As I got older I most of my boyfriends were my brother's friends ... but I was always protected by the presence of both my brothers ... I loved it.
From their point of view ... they knew from a youngish age never to come out with crap things like 'Oh it must be the wrong time of the month' as it went down like a lead balloon with my sister and me
They were always quite good at remembering to put the seat down after they had been to the loo.
They are generally 'girl friendly' blokes although my eldest brother is a bit of a 'cad'.
They are sensitive too ... they know how to cry ... they still kiss my dad ... are both very good fathers ... probably nothing to do with having sisters though.
My sister and I grew up having no illusions about blokes ... and their yukky blokey habits like sitting watching telly with their hands down their trousers ...
I love having brothers and I know my brothers like having sisters so I wouldn't worry Mog ... your two won't miss out on anything ....

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Nutjob · 19/04/2003 22:41

I have got one of each, and as other's have said I think it is nice as they pick up positive traits from each other that they wouldn't necessarily have learnt with same sex siblings. Also have to agree with Whymummy that ds is a lot easier to deal with at the moment than dd, who is a right little madam - she's only wee but boy has she got attitude!!!

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jasper · 19/04/2003 22:54

I have two boys and one girl.
I am hoping my daughter picks up on the emotional , sensitive nature of her brothers and that they learn from her robust pyhsicality and general toughness.

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whymummy · 19/04/2003 23:04

LOL jasper

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Hilary · 20/04/2003 08:50

Ghosty, your family sounds really great - you have just summed up why I always wanted a big family. Don't think dh would ever agree to four though!

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Slinky · 20/04/2003 11:52

I have 2 girls (aged 7 and 3) and a son aged 5.

They are get all incredibly well (in fact as I write they are out in the garden giggling whilst hunting for the Easter Eggs that I've hidden).

I was really worried when DS was born as the only boys I knew (apart from my brother) were really aggressive, boisterous, and badly behaved.

However, my little boy is adorable - he is soft, quiet-natured, (although a little more boisterous than his sisters) loves his football, plays with sisters dolls.

My friend has 3 boys and they are a nightmare! They destroy EVERYTHING, they fight, and generally are a pain in the backside and my house is a bombsite when they have left!

I feel that because DS has sisters - this brings out the more feminine side to him and vice verse - both my girls are not "girly girls" and they love a bit of "rough and tumble" with DS.

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Mum2boy · 20/04/2003 12:24

Mog I have a brother who is 13 months older than me and we've always been really close.

We played extemely well together as children, had a great relationship, and went out with each other's friends when we were older. I think it's wonderful having a brother.

I would have liked a sister to share all the 'girly' things with, but was still happy to have a brother. Boys and girls are very different, but IMO children will always find some common ground with each other and can have great relationships no matter what sex they are.

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tallulah · 21/04/2003 11:46

I have a brother, & always missed not having a sister. My brother lives about 200 miles away & we rarely see eachother. I'm surrounded by people with sisters & they all have a really special relationship with each others children that is totally missing with my brothers DD. The ache gets worse as I get older.

(My mum had 1 brother, my dad had 2 sisters, DH has 2 brothers & my poor DD has 3 brothers. Doing something wrong?)

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Ghosty · 21/04/2003 11:57

Hilary ... our family is great ... I love them to pieces ... Although having 4 children under the age of 5 (eeeeek!) has taken its toll on my mum over the years I know she wouldn't change any of it for the world. Of course I am the youngest of the 4 so I was in the best place ... but I know my brothers and sister love the fact our family is so close too.
I would love to have 4 aswell ... but my mum had had all of us by the time she was 30 ... I am 33 and I don't think I will have the energy that she did

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