Does anyone have any tips on helping a child adjust to her father's new partner or getting him to see that he needs to spend time on his own with his dd. He refuses now to spend any time with my dd (age 8) on her own. His new partner is always with him when he vists. My dd is very upset about it and feels "let down." He lives in the UK and we live in Ireland. Because he bitterly resented me for breaking up our marriage over 5 years ago so he wouldn't come to Ireland to visit our dd so I brought her to him every few weeks to ensure she had a relationship with him. Since he moved in with a new partner last Summer, he has come to Ireland 4 times but his partner is always with him and my dd is very unhappy about it. She has asked him to spend time with her on his own and whilst he has agreed, in advance of the visit, it doesn't happen like that. DD says she hates this person but she doesn't really, it's the fact that she sees her interfering with her time with her Dad, which is brief and sporadic anyway. From what I can gather this lady is nice to dd. I know part of his reason in bringing her here is to show me that someone else wants him, even if I don't, but no one can help him with his self esteem issues. I think he handled the initial intro badly last Summer when dd was staying with him in the UK for 3 days. It was the first time she'd stayed on her own with him - normally she would stay in a B & B with me at night and spend the days with him but I only stayed one night and went back to work. She was very upset when I left but she did settle and enjoyed herself. However, he took her to this lady's house for the introduction. My dd knew nothing of this woman before that and then he told her that she'd be staying with them on her next visit as he was moving in. For the remainder of that visit, he took dd to this lady's house each day. The first thing I heard when I collected her at the airport on her return was "I didn't go to England to see blank." My dd refuses point blank to go visit them in the UK. My ex's attitude is that she'll "get used to it" 'cos millions of kids do and essentially it's his way or the high way. His new partner doesn't have children. I offered from the beginning to meet her as I thought it would help dd if she saw us being friendly to each other but my ex does not want us to meet so I know nothing of her at all except that she sent me a very angry email which I think was drafted by him and sent from her email. They apparently admitted to each other (or so he said) at the outset that they'd both rather be with their exes but I'm not sure that's true. I don't know if it's her who insists on being included in each visit or if he is insisting that she comes with him. I did go to see a family therapist and he asked that my ex and I attend together but he refused. It's very upsetting to see my dd so hurt by it all but I don't know what I can do to help her. She's a lovely child and I've encouraged her to get to know this lady and give her a chance but I don't feel my ex is trying to work with dd at all. His view is that she either agrees to see him with his partner or not at all. Has anyone any advice or tips that they could offer please?