How much do you interfer with / need to interfer with children's interactions with other children?

[broguemum]

How much do you intervene in the lives of your children?

My eldest who is nearly 6yo is friendly with two children who live nearby. They play together well although there is a strong competitive element but in the last few days when it is time for us to leave the playground where they tend to meet there are suddenly accusations of DD having messed everything up in their garden (which is next to the playground) and that she needs to come back and tidy up. Today they followed us home and were shrieking at her to come and tidy up. There were even some threats that they would break all her toys if she didn't come back!

So, how much should I intervene? Should I treat this seriously or just ignore it?

DD is now hiding in her room and is afraid that their mummy is going to come around to tell her off.

Help greatly appreciated.

Are you friends with their mum? Could you bring it up in conversation with her? It's so tricky, isn't it - I sympathise with you.

Nope. Hardly know their mum - we're on nodding terms but there is a language barrier too so it would be hard for me to casually bring it up. I really don't know what to do. It's confusing this parenting business.

If you witness the other kids saying it I would intervene personally and verify or otherwise the truth of what they are saying

I would not have had them follow us home shrieking at my dc. Maybe you should have asked them not to be unkind or bossy and play nicely. This sounds like subtle bullying which is very common especially when there are 3 kids playing together .... you can usually find one ends up being a bit of a victim. Does the other mum hear these accusations ? I would have stepped in if they had been mine.

Thanks for your replies. I think I was not strong enough but you see, that's the problem with a language barrier. If I spoke their language I would probably have stepped in.

ICANDOTHAT - Is it really common when three children play together? It was horrible to see the play change from being nice to being bullying and ganging up. I was wondering if they were angry that I had decided it was time to go and they were taking it out on my DD?

Anyway, DH speaks the lingo fluently and has gone over to the playground with her now. He will step in and be assertive in Luxembourgish if there are any problems again.