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Parenting

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Original poster

Second child guilts?

28 replies

GiraffeAHolic · 14/04/2009 12:28

I feel stupid even writing this so please bear with me.

We have a beautiful dd nearly 13 months old. She was very much wanted and due to fertility problems took over 2 years to concieve.

Because of this we don't want to wait too long to start trying again.

I have always wanted more than one child, and am now starting to think about possibly starting again (especially if it's going to take a while again).

Trouble is I don't know how I can have all the feelings I have for dd again, she is our whole world and I don't know how another baby would fit in and be loved so much.

Also I feel guilty that dd wouldn't have my whole attention for her toddler years if we had a second now.

Millions of women have more than one child so am I just being daft or are these normal feelings??

If you can't offer any advice, a good slap may work

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StarlightMcEggzie · 14/04/2009 14:55

Do you tripple your love with 3? Or do you just colapse in a heap of exhaustion?

marymungoandmidge · 14/04/2009 15:05

I felt exactly the same with No 2 (there is a 12.5 month difference) but my DH was so sweet and lovely all the while about how normal it was to feel this way, how I will feel passionately about No 2 also, and they will be the best of friends...and yes I do and yes they are!
Trouble is I am now pg with no 3 and I must admit to tearfully wondering aloud with DH all those same concerns....its normal and those bloody hormones have a lot to answer for...

redsky · 14/04/2009 15:14

I had the same worries about a second baby, giraffe. The only thing I would add is that although I love both my children equally it is a different kind of love for each. We had a nearly 4 year gap between ours which I found perfect, in that by the time dd came along ds was at school so I could dote on dd and enjoy one-to-one time with dd during school hours.
And despite the 4 year gap for many years they played together really well.
The age gap is more of a problem now that ds is away at university, and off out with his friends in holidays, so dd has become an only child as a teenager. She misses her brother and doesn't like being the focus of attention from dh and me.

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