(Namechanged for various reasons)
Have DD (7) and DS (3).
DS has never had any developemental delays, in fact seems rather bright and reached all milestones pretty much in the middle of "normal" range. But he has funny little ways which have really always been there with him but we are now at a stage where other people are picking up on them and passing comment/offering advice/ querying the cause etc.
He gets on fine with other children but has some boundary issues and doesn't always read signals from them to back off.
He tends to repeat back pretty much everything - word for word- that is said to him, although he still carries a normal (norm for a 3yo anyway) conversation.
He has a variety of obsessions which at times bring him coimfort and at other times seem to cause him anxiety.
He has some, but not many, rituals and becomes upset if these are deviated from.
He seems to be over-sensiive to noise and when upset can tolerate almost no noise at all. His eating is extremely restricted in terms of variety and texture though luckily what he does eat is prety nutritious.
There are lots of other little things he does that do mark him out as different and certainly i never experienced these things with DD, but on the whole he is a very happy, confident bright boy. He is loving and tactile, humorous and is very empathetic to emotions etc.
Some family members have commented, but its just from DH's side and tbh they are all a bit obsessed with labels!
I have a friend who works with SN children and although she s being extremely tactful I know she feels we should begin the process of having him tested (seems the wrong word? mind gone blank im afraid)for ASD.
Now I have been approached by mgr at DS's nursery about his "quirks", she did this in a gentle way, it didn t feel as though she was pushing me to any conclusions i rather got the feeling she wanted to see where my thoughts were on it all but i now fully expect a more official discussion where their worries are raised.
The problem I have is that i dont thin i want to go down the route of medicalising him. He is happy and healthy and as a family we will continue to ensure that that is the case.
I ahve to admit that i have looked into ASD and see definite striking similarities but then i als dont see alot of the markers either.
I fully understand that DS would at least be a candidate for testing (again with the testing?! screening maybe??) but i just dont want it, i dont think a diagnosos is necessary and its not like i could go through the process and accept the result if it says he is not on the spectrum but refuse it if he is, is it? If I start this and he gets the diagnosis then theres no turning back, he will be labelled forever.
I tend to think that even if he is asd then he is certainly at the very mild end and can foresee no problems with him in general life.
I also kind of think lots of adults are making their way through the world just fine who could very probably be considered asd. Maybe we are all on there to one extent or another?!
Am I underestimating the situation?
Are others maybe overstating it?
Any experience/ advice/ ideas greatly appreciated.