Holding it in - HELP

[bizzybee123]

Hi all. Im new to Mumsnet but could really do with some advice. After successfully potty training my daughter in just 4 days when she was 21 months I thought I knew what I was doing. But my son - now the same age -has just proved me wrong - serves me right I know! He tells me when he needs to go and clutches at his bits but just won't let it go. He seems happier with the idea of using the toilet rather than the potty but still won't actually use it. He's not happy about going back in nappies either - Im stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any ideas on next steps.

My ds didn't come out of nappies and trainer pants until he was 3 or so!!! Have you tried trainer pants or 'nappy pants' (my name for them) - I called them 'big boy pants' and at least I knew if he did wet them it wasn't such a big deal, but yet he'd know what he'd done. Then in the summer and when we were at home i'd just let him run around in ordinary pants outside! From listening to other mum's experiences it seems boys learn a bit later on, so don't fret too much. Your ds will learn - I'd try the trainer pants - eg Huggies Pull Ups etc and use a reward chart - a happy sticker for everytime he uses the loo, along with a toddler loo seat! Plenty of praise and encouragement! You could put a colorful ping-pong ball in the loo for target practice and play a game!!! I think there are toddler toilet training 'aids' available on the market to encourage kids to go!!!

Funny you should say that. I went out and bought some of those 'feel and learn' pull ups today. When he needs to go he always tells me and points to the toilet but when we get there he says no. So I have decided to take the pressue off (hopefully without confusing him) by keeping him in those pull ups and everytime he needs to go I will indulge him by taking him to the toilet in the hope that some time soon he might actually decide to make that final step of sitting on it and doing his wee there. Thanks for the advice divedaisy.

bizzybee - some kids are simply scared of falling into the loo itself! You can get toddler seats for use at home giving them a smaller hole to sit over - here's a PORTABLE toddler loo seat

I also found this site giving pro and con advice regarding potty/toilet training!

Best thing is not to stress over it - he'll get used to it eventually!