Censorship for a 6 year old boy - am I OTT?

[Rhiannon]

Am I being overprotective of my 6 year old? I really don't like these violent computer games, he was at a friends recently and they were playing a game where dinosaurs ripped heads of people, lots of blood etc.

I have banned Cartoon Network completely due to the weirdness of what is shown. Where the ideas come from for Power Puff Girls, Johnny Bravo, Catdog and that Bl**dy Dexter's Laboratory I have no idea. And Cow and Chicken arghhh!

I let him watch Pokemon but if you sit down and watch that it's about controlled violence!

I know I can't protect his innocence for long, but what did we watch at 6?

rhiannon, i agree with you about the violent computer games; my elder son used to play on one called "doom" which involves lots of shooting and blood, younger son used to watch aged 5/6 and it definitely gave him nightmares so we cancelled that.

cartoon network seems ok to me - weird but not actually scary - it's almost as if they are putting stuff in to entertain any adults who may be watching with their children, especially in johnny bravo! did your son like watching any of them? pokemon is not just about controlled violence, it's also about helping and defending people - not all bad.

when we were 6? well, when i was 6 there were only 2 channels and kids' tv lasted about 45 minutes - i remember johnny morris and tony hart, stuff like that - but i also remember hiding behind the sofa from the daleks when i was quite a bit older!

it sounds as if your best bet may be to restrict him to videos that you are not anxious about until he is a bit older. if you have time you could make up your own from the bbc2 early years programmes like storytime, number time, come outside, words and pictures; my son used to watch them before he started school and went on watching the videos for a long time afterwards. they are on before tellytubbies I THINK! maybe 9.30. and as you have satellite you could also go with playdays? on choice i think?

do you know what his friends watch? he may feel the need to keep up with them...

I censor what my children watch to a certain extent. I agree with Janh, Cartoon Network is just a bit off the wall - you should have seen it about 7 years ago - really dire!! I have an 8 year old and a 4 year old and must admit that I'm not as censorus with the youngest as I was with the eldest. He seems no more affected by anything than the other one was. The eldest is really into scary ghost type things like Goosebumps and Who's Afraid of the Dark? The youngest decides they're scary and goes off to do something else. I do watch with them alot of the time and know what they watch.The problem can come when they go to friends houses and watch things you wouldn't ever let them near - South Park on video for example. I played it down to stop it sounding glam and forbidden - but was fairly miffed that he'd watched it.Computer games are rigorously censored by us. Children do bring violence that they have watched into their own games and I don't think that you can leave the censorship job to the people who make the programmes and games. It's also about personal preference to a large extent, like letting them watch drivel or not. But sometimes we all like to veg out to mindless drivel - just not ALL the time.

I don't have access to cartoon network so don't know about that, but I do censor what my kids watch. Funnily enough we were having just this conversation over a few red wines on Saturday night.

My two (18 months and nearly 3) don't watch that much TV at home anyway but what they do watch tends to be on video. Recently my nearly-3 year old saw a small part of Roger Rabbit (which we thought he'd like due to the animation) as it was on television and was scared by the 'nasty man'. Needless to say it was promptly turned off. The problem I have is being unable to sensor what he watches when at our childminder's. She's my sister-in-law and this does make things difficult (never work with or employ family or friends). She allows (as far as I can see) her nearly-4 year old to watch anything and everything and in large quantities. I think some of this is completely inappropriate. He knows all the characters in Pokemon for example ( suitable viewing for a 3 year old??) and I dread to think what she inadvertently lets my two see. I've made my husband have a word as we have to be diplomatic about how things are said but I still caught her with a cert 15 film the other day (Batman) that she'd given her son to watch. When I said something she said 'oh, I hadn't noticed'. Not sure if this is worse than just not thinking it matters....Grrrrrrr

I'm not stupid enough to think that I can sensor what my children watch forever, but I just feel that whilst they are at an age when I do have some control I'd like to be able to use it. Plenty of time for them to 'grow up' later. Anyway, you only have to see the joy on their faces when they're watching something as charming (read boring for grown ups!!) as Bambi to know that this is much more suitable. They love watching Bambi and thumper and grin and giggle through it....Better than Pokemon? I think so...

unless sensitively done (rare high-quality programmes), any telly beyond their age and experience is probably not appropriate. Even sitting with my children (ages 8,6 & 3) and explaining or defusing what they see isn't enough if the images are disturbing to them. Something that may seem relatively innocuous to us can make a big impact on them - and they stew on it.

the problem is sieving the appropriate viewing from all the dross. Children's TV slots are graded according to age - post 4.30pm is probably too 'grown up' for a four year old. Best bet is early evening family 'entertainment' on Saturday evening. And of course Top of the Pops ... nothing beats it!

hmonty - funny you should mention bambi - i first saw it at the cinema when older than your kids and some of it scared me to death - and upset me - (mother being killed mostly) - doesn't it bother them at all?
a lot of disney has horrible/scary bits - witches, bad fairies and characters dying, or apparently dying - it's not all harmless innocent fun! much better quality animation and stories than pokemon of course...i would prefer not to have pokemon at all but find it better than some of its predecessors like mutant ninja turtles and power rangers!

I think a lot of nursery rhymes and traditional fairy tales are awful and people just accuse me of trying to be "far out" or "trendy". But I don't want my little boy hearing rhymes about farmers wives cutting of mice's tales with carving knives thank you very much!

Janh,
No it doesn't bother them at all.... although explaining what happened to Bambi's Mum was an interesting one. We just said that a nasty man had shot her with a gun and that this is why we don't have guns. Bit of a problem with the gun issue as a moment, especially after their Grandad (hubbie's step father) shot a squirrel in the back garden in front of their 3 year old cousin...but I won't start on that one! Apart from that they adore Bambi. Especially the bits where he's learning to talk/walk/ice skate etc with Thumper. This has made me think though. My eldest loves the film Babe but there are some rather dark undertones in this film too. What I don't like though is gratutitous violence. Tom and Jerry cartoons for instance make me wince now and do not get viewed.

A lot of nursery rhymes are pretty barbaric. I hadn't realised (familiarity leads you to miss these things) but Hubbie picked up on it as he didn't know them from his childhood and was learning them as an adult. We have changed a few to make them a little firendlier. For instance when the mother duck quacks all three of her ducks come swimming back.

oh, we did that too, hmonty! awful when they don't (the little ducks...we had 5 though.)
but where do you draw the line? some of them might be upset by the ten fat sausages sizzling in the pan!

bad luck about the squirrel. how did the cousin react?

most of bambi is beautiful - as well as being upset by the mother being shot i remember being hysterical at bambi's attempts to stand up (or skate?) on the ice...

i think in general that as long as we monitor what they watch and attend to their reactions to things, rather than just using tv as a babysitter, they will be ok...there is no telling in advance what might get under their skins and they're just as likely to be in the room when someone gets shot on the news or something.

the problems are greater when they are in other peoples' houses, eg your childminder's. my elder son is 12 and nearly all his friends have tv, video and even satellite in their bedrooms and appear to be allowed to watch what they like when they like. i don't even let my 19-yr-old know my pin code on sky!!!! (i'll put it in for her but i won't tell her what it is. do you think i am overprotective???)

Unfortunately instead of being upset their cousin thinks Grandad was wonderful and clever for killing the squirrel and thinks guns are 'the best thing' and that it's OK to go around saying 'kill, kill, kill, and pretending to shoot everyone and everything, whilst wearing a bullet belt given to him by Grandad...And my sister-in-law thinks this is fine. Personally I find it horrifying. We had a discussion about it and she accused myself and my husband of being townies who didn't understand the ways of the countryside. Grandad lives in haywards Heath for goodness sake. Very rural...Not. Seeth, seeth...

I heard some stats on Radio 4 yesterday regarding the number of 6-7 year olds that have a television in their bedroom. Can't rememebr the exact figure but it as huge. I did find this shocking. Who knows what and how much television these children are watching. I also heard a quote from a mother saying that she could 'no longer send her children to their room as a punishment. It was more of a punishment to send them downstairs....but who'd want them there?'.

hi, again, hmonty!

haywards heath - red in tooth and claw - oh dear, poor you!!! is this step-sister-in-law? is she the same one who minds your kids? she's a "country" person but your husband and you aren't? what a lot of barriers to climb!

so did this woman on R4 actually say "who'd want them down there?"????? about her own children? and she wasn't kidding? where are social services when you need them?

Yes this is the same sister-in-law who child minds. In most other ways she's very good (obviously otherwise I wouldn't use her!). She and my hubbie come from Haywards Heath but she has the inside track on 'country living' as she lived with a farm labourer for a while whilst we lived in the wilds of Twickenham and San Francisco!! Maybe country living has nothing to do with it. Maybe it was living in the States that set our views on gun use??? I do know something about country living though....I know about showing red rags to bulls...and that's what she did to me!!!

The quote was read out on the radio rather than hering it from the Mother herself....so I don't know how accurate it was. I did find it sad though. They were interviewing another woman who has done extensive research into the amount of multimedia viewing children do around the world ie TV, computer, computer games. They found that in Europe the UK had the highest level of TV viewing in all age groups. The figures were quite shocking. A lot of the viewing figures were attributed to there being nothing else for the kids to do (I assume this was more aimed at older children). They also discovered that children watch a lot of non specific childrens TV...I think the stat was something like '4 out of 5 favourite programme were not from the children's TV selection'. All interesting stuff. Wish I could remember more. It was on at about 4pm yesterday afternoon. Anyone else hear it??

PS 5 little ducks! Blimey. That song would go on for ages. I think we'll stick to the shorter version!

Hell will freeze over before any child of mine gets a TV in their own room. When I taught in a school I lost count of the times children would be tired because they watched a TV programme I had missed because I was in bed. The things they had watched left me open mouthed esp those that had SKY.

Hmonty I can't imagine the howling in our house if a squirrel was killed, and that would be just from me!

Snowy, my 7-year old son has been trying to nudge me towards buying him a TV for ages. I'm holding out. Quite apart from the censorship issue, I feel the minimum I can do for his teachers is to ensure that he arrives at school well-rested. Their job is hard enough as it is.

Mind you, I suppose if I later relent and buy him a portable one, at least it can be carried out of his room at bedtime. Is this what other parents do?

Hold out, once it's in his room you lose control.
If you take it out at night there's a row, "but it's not for now it's for the morning". So you leave it in his room and the sounds down and God knows what he's watching on his own.

I can envisage having another TV in the house where he could watch things on his own, but I'd want to have free access.

I sound like puritan mum don't I? This just really worries me, the short attention span and need for constant electric diversion that children have.

I can see your point, my son has a Gameboy so I think he has quite sufficient electric diversion to be going on with. We ration it. Difficult but necessary. As for getting a TV for him to watch by himself in another part of the house, well that would be a problem. His bedroom or the underfloor cupboard are the only places we could guarantee he'll have quiet viewing time away form the main family 'arena' in the living room. We're a rather noisy family!

What I also find alarming is the way my husband is getting addicted to watching 'younger' programmes like SMTV Live and Buffy. All those very young pretty women??? Have to watch this development, too.

tigermoth, portables often have a socket for headphones - so he could watch in a room with others and still hear quite well (and not disturb anybody.)

i agree with snowy - keep it out of his room as long as you can (if not permanently!!!)

and you could have it not connected to the aerial so he can only watch videos - if you have a spare vcr too of course.

JanH, Thanks for the info, especially regarding aerials. It's going to scupper my son's hopes for unlimited private TV viewing. There's always a way to say no, if you look hard enough isn't there?

Last christmas my 2 were playing up something rotten while I was trying to cook christmas dinner, so I put the portable in their room, they sat up there and watched whatever film was on at the time (can't remember), I thought "that's it I'll never get it back into my room now" but a couple of days later my daughter came to me and had a strop because she didn't want a telly in her room! Well, as you can imagine I was gobsmacked, luckily for me she much prefers the drawer full of books under her bed, and will spend more time in her room reading, than, watching telly.

I too, am holding out against a TV in the bedroom. Oldest son keeps harping with the "But everybody else...." argument. I think I have cracked it though.... I keep saying that when he's as old as A.(his eldest cousin), he can have one. A. keeps getting older, ds hasn't yet noticed the flaw in the reasoning, and still no TV in the bedroom!

No way, no TV in bedroom. No aerial point so won't work anyway. Mine is 6.5 but has never asked anyway. Most of the channels are censored anyway except Disney and Choice.

One of my children had a tv in his room (a tiny black&white one with snowy pictures!) because he was often bedridden with asthma but none of my other three have a tv in their room. They asked once or twice for a tv, but it was never a big thing for them.