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Parenting

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Original poster

Do mums tend to 'baby' their sons more than daughters?

29 replies

sandyballs · 10/04/2009 22:37

I don't have boys, I have twin girls (8), but it has struck me in the past, and particularly today, that mums seems to do much more for their boys than mums do for girls.

My girls had a swimming lesson this evening and two boys in their group just stood there whilst their mums stripped them down completely and held out their trunks for them to put on! And after swimming they dried them completely and put all their clothes on. These boys don't have any special needs, I just found it astonishing. They were 7/8 year olds

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bronze · 10/04/2009 22:39

I think they've probably just learned that in some things its easier and quicker to help. I'm sure they would find situations the other way round.

I know I don't but thats because my eldest two are boys and they have to help me out with dd who is 2.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 10/04/2009 22:41

No I don't think so.

My boys were sorting themselves out after swimming from age 5 and [sob] at not being needed

Also special needs or disabilities are not always visible, yes?

Pinkglow · 10/04/2009 22:44

Well how many threads have I read where someones moaning that their DP/DH has no idea on domestic issues around the house because they were always waited on hand and foot by their mothers growing up (and Ill include myself in that one)

so yes - certainly certain generations anyway

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TheCrackFox · 10/04/2009 22:53

I have a 7 yr old son and would not be helping him get changed. TBH I don't think he would let me.

Original poster

sandyballs · 10/04/2009 23:08

I agree that special needs aren't always visible but i'm pretty sure these boys are NT.

I almost felt neglectful just sitting there letting my girls get on with it.

OP posts:

lunamoon2 · 11/04/2009 00:16

Yes!

jes74 · 11/04/2009 00:24

I have never treated my sons differently to my daughter,but know what you mean however you see me after swimming drying my nearly eight year old, who to everyone appears 'normal' whatever that may be, but is in fact awaiting assessment for dyspraxia, so yes it would appear I was babying especially as surprisingly he is good at swimming shame he would put clothes straight on dripping wet and take 45mins to do so. Things really are not always what they seem.

Martha200 · 11/04/2009 09:56

It's not something I have to do for my 5 yr old, but where were the boys getting changed?
Even though my son is allowed in the female changing rooms, and he goes in the cubicle I am aware that some of the girls are horrified that there is a boy present in their area, so perhaps Mum is trying to hurry them up so as to get them out of the girls way?

cupofteaplease · 11/04/2009 10:00

I know somebody who has 2 dds and a ds- I'm amazed at how much more she babies the ds. Perhaps it is because he is the youngest though.

HeadFairy · 11/04/2009 10:04

I can't possibly comment on anyone else but my ds already puts his stuff away, he insists on putting his dirty nappies in the bin and he always puts his toothbrush back in the holder. Long may it continue. I'll have him making us breakfast by the time he's 5

DH on the other hand was most definitely mothered... he actually asked me the other day "how will i know if they're dry?" when I asked him to get the washing in if it was dry A domestic god he is not.

cornsilk · 11/04/2009 10:08

In general I would say no. IME boys are allowed out on their own to play long before girls. Boys are allowed to be more rough and tumble. In 'Raising Boys' S Biddulph suggests that boys are actually more sensitive than girls but that society treats them as if they aren't.

smurfette15 · 11/04/2009 10:16

When at the school gate, I always notice that the mums of boys take their rucksacks, lunchboxes etc but the girls' mums leave them to carry their stuff themselves

southeastastra · 11/04/2009 10:17

so what???

cornsilk · 11/04/2009 10:19

Smurfette - isn't that usually because the boys are chasing about with each other? Girls and boys behave differently and parents respond accordingly.

Astrophe · 11/04/2009 10:21

I think I do treat my DS and DD differently - but then DD is two years older than DS, and they have different personalities, so I'm not sure its down to their sex, probably just their ages. It will be interesting when DC3 arrives - I will have to reassess.

smurfette15 · 11/04/2009 10:26

Just an observation.

Doesn't appear to be because the boys are running about as both my DP and I have noticed it as they are walking home from school alongside their mums.

Original poster

sandyballs · 11/04/2009 13:21

IME the girls run around just as much as the boys.

OP posts:

southeastastra · 11/04/2009 13:22

oops my comment was to the op

Original poster

sandyballs · 11/04/2009 13:23

I can understand that jes74 and it is possible that those particular boys are the same.

It doesn't really matter Southeastar, just an observation, I find it quite interesting.
I might be the same if I had boys, who knows. Not being judgy, just curious.

OP posts:

Lizzylou · 11/04/2009 13:25

I notice that I baby DS2 more than DS1...but have no girls to compare

skramble · 11/04/2009 13:25

I would say not in my house!!! .

DS was my PFB but has always had plenty of independence and has to get on with a lot himslef, I think with being the first baby and me having to deal with his little sister he had to do things like dress himself because I was dressing his baby sister.

Perhaps how much babying they get is more to do with their position in the family???

But..... I suppose their are still mothers that treat their boys in a way that will produce lazy little feckers that expect to be waited on. (Or maybe that was just my MIL )

Reallytired · 11/04/2009 14:33

I think that little boys need longer to mature than girls. Child development of girls tends to be more advanced than boys. For example girls on average have better fine motor skills at a young age, better speech and concentration. However boys do develop these skills but later on.

Its why boys often struggle more in the early years of school than girls.

Rather than going on chronological age, its better to go on the needs of the child.

skramble · 12/04/2009 01:10

I think boys like the adult version learn very early if they piss about and make a bad job of it wifey mummy will do it for them to save any hassle.

maamajullah · 12/04/2009 02:25

My sister's like that with her ds2 who's 6yrs old. When i asked her why, she sad its cuz she had him very early at 6months and he weighed 900g. She had a similar case before him and she lost the son.
She thought she was goin to lose him too.

maamajullah · 12/04/2009 02:28

*said

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