Toilet training gone very wrong, help please?

[RubyBlueberry]

My dd (now 3 1/2) was toilet trained about a year ago, she did brilliantly well, and now will just not go at all.

She won't go in nappies, or potties, and the only way to get her to wee or poo is to sit her on the toilet for half an hour at a time, do kids forget how to "go"?

We do have another baby (he's now 1) , and I'm trying so hard to give them both equal time, love, patience and attention, usual Mum stuff...but do you think his arrival has caused this "I won't wee" ? if so what else could I do? We are in tears every night, it's getting us all down, any advice would be brilliant, thanks.
(she has LOADS of liquids, water, milk, smoothies btw)

No, they don't forget how to go, but they will sometimes put up a fight if it becomes a power struggle.

If you don't feel there is any physical concern, perhaps something like a water infection that hurts, and you can stand it, let her wear pants.

If she wets, have her do as much of the work of changing and cleaning up as is appropriate, but put the onus on her. Tell her that you are sure she will make it to the toilet next time....trying to keep it matter of fact. She is old to understand what is expected.

If you think it would help, you can try a reward system and see if that helps her get back on track. Just try to avoid it becoming a battle....no one needs the frustration....she will get back to it.

I would first rule out a UTI. Then I would go with it. It's what she needs. If she's doing it for "control" it's because she needs more attention. It doesn't make her a bad person, it makes her a toddler who needs some one-on-one time with her mum. I would give her a book and encourage her to sit on her own with the book. Talk to her about any fears she may have, too.

Good thinking, I will do the reward chart again.

However the easter bunny brought her a Fifi drssing table so she is one happy girl now and we have had no battles for 3 days..... looking good...