Bringing Up Britain on Radio 4 re shouting...

[bohemianbint]

Did anyone hear this earlier?

yes, twice. i thought it was crap

what?

Yes, I thought it was quite interesting the back and forth between Sue G and the other one (sorry can't recall her name) who was very sceptical about the evidence of damage to brain development if child bought up in aggressive environment.

I wonder if they just didn't define their terms properly. I got the impression that shouting per se not so bad, but lots of shouting that causes child to be afraid has potential to be very bad.

at least they all agreed they felt crap after they did it, which is certainly my experience. And it doesn't seem to work very well.

yes exactly spero, scaring children is quite another kettle from shouting a bit because the satchel isn't ready in the morning (wft?)

But i was horrified by the teenager who said that 'everyone I know shouts at their mum'

Was I just a particularly cowed and submissive child? It would NEVER have occured to me to shout at my mum.

This is all a bit Myerson for comfort.

Here. Was meaning to listen but DD had other plans...

I'll come back when I've hear it.

...heard...

Right - have heard it all the way through now (or as good as it gets!)

I'm not sure what I came away from it with. Other than the fact that my kids will be depressed and drug addicts after this afternoon. I shouted at my toddler after he had screamed incessantly for nearly 2 hours (and some of that time I was driving too, I just can't cope with that level of aggro whilst driving, it affects my concentration.)

Then I really sealed the deal by breaking down and crying in front of them both (7m and 2.7y) after they both screamed at the same time for a sustained amount of time and DS1 weed on the floor.

So I'm generally feeling great about myself today.

Sounds totally normal bb. Fair enough a few people have the patience of a saint - my folks didn't and I consider myself fairly well adjusted (and think my parents are fantastic, still)

Thanks pickles. It really is the guilt that's the worst, isn't it...

Spero - I'm with you, no way would I have shouted at my mum. Mainly because she would have knocked my fricking head off...

Its so odd isn't it? I don't remember being afraid of my parents, but when we thought my brother had called mum a 'bitch' (he actually said 'witch') we were all absolutely shocked, not because (as far as I remember) we thought he'd get smacked, but just because it was so unthinkable to say something like that to one of the parents...

that all seems to have changed now.

Was walking behind a mum and two children today, on our way to free easter egg hunt and the boy, can't have been more than 9yrs old was berating her for the particular route she'd chosen 'this is ridiculous!' 'We'll have to walk for miles!' etc, etc, in really snotty hectoring tone.

And she was being so patient and reasonably and lovely, explaining that actually no, this was the quickest way...

I'm not saying I want my dd to be afraid of me but I do want her to have respect for me. If she ever speaks to me like that - or indeed anyone - she can be out of the house and earning her own money asap.