House Rules

[rummum]

Am fed up with my 11 year old DS and my 13 year old DD bickering and fighting that I have just sat them down and we have written up a list of family rules... much to my DD's horror! we did this before when they were little, and I've let it lapse...

DD has AS tendencies and finds it hard to see things from other peoples point of view, she also has little empathy for anyone else, ie she hurt him and made him cry earlier and she showed no remorse whatso ever, also she can't always verbalies how she feels, so every thing is 'stupid'

so please tell me what rules do you have in your house, is there any thing you could suggest in my situation. I am seperating from their father, so he is moving out soon. Also how much pocket money do you give your pre teens... we have written a list of jobs that they can do to earn it...

funny thing is that I email CAMHS earlier to see if there was a teen parenting course Icould go on.. feel I should email them back and say that its urgent!

No teens here yet, but with AS tendency kids at school we have started to use comic strip converstations to help them see things from the other point of view. You draw the scene with stick men, and put in speech bubbles of what was said then add in thought bubbles to show how people felt/were thinking.

actually thats a good idea, may try that.. thanks

now... don't anyone else reply will you...

just a little experiment ignore me

Just thought as well, whatever your rules make them visual, ime 15yo still serectly love stickers and reward charts. We recently stopped having constant, 'no you can't come into LSU (learning support unit)' 'But I want to come into LSU' arguments by putting up a rules for coming into LSU poster on the wall. Amazing how a visual display has so much more impact on some kids than a verbal discussion.

we did rules in our house...asked them all to say what they wanted...we all wanted the same...so to get buy in you could get this route. Maybe all agree an objective fdor the rules...everyone to be happy ...respected...house to be quiet and peaceful..?...or for chores,,,lounge to be tidy for visitors etc..

Hi rummum, I've just seen your thread, and I don't know if my reply is that helpful to you because my dcs are only 4 and 6. We have written some house rules, I've just done a parenting course at my local children's centre and it was really good, they recommended rules.

Ours are:

Do not let the cat out of the front door(!)
No hurting
Clean UP
No drawing on furniture
No sitting of the table
Don't be rude
Play nicely

We are advised to use positive language, so need to rewrite them (drawing on paper only, etc).