tired, not coping anymore

[Writergirl]

I don?t know if IABU but I feel I am about to lose the plot with everything, but I can?t get any perspective.

My partner has his own business and works really long hours (eg 8 am ? midnight, or at least 9pm). I work for myself.

My dilemma is my DH doesn?t help out ? I don?t think ? nearly enough but I don?t know if he can ? or should.

We have 2 kids (6 yrs and 7 months).

My work day ends at 5pm because I pick up both kids. I do the usual evening routine ? dinners, baths, beds, house tidy up, dinner for us. I also do all the food shopping and all the cooking. I do all our admin, and because we have recently built a house, all the outstanding stuff related to this. I do all the washing and ironing. I have a cleaner who comes once a week, but DH soon messes that up when he comes in.

Weekends, I feel bad asking DH to help out ? especially when he does he tries to get out of it or just does half of it.

Normally I can cope, but DS (8 months) doesn?t sleep at nights. I am still bfeeding almost exclusively and am super tired. Last night DS just wouldn?t get off, and I was still up at 5am. I lost the plot and shouted at him, and then at myself!

I don?t know how I can ask DH for help, or if it would be unreasonable to, because he works so much.

He seems to be on a different planet - e.g. he thinks I deliberately use our stairs as 'shelves', which is where I put all the items that need to go upstairs and tidied away and just walks past them. When he changes the baby he leaves all the dirty clothes over the bathroom floor and doesn't even put the nappies in the bin.

I do feel though that work tired is different to ?kids tired? which leave you physically exhausted.

What do you think?

You need to tell him how you feel- if he doesn't know he can't change. I find some people do not even realise they have left stuff on the floor when they've finished a job.
You cannot continue like this- you will have a breakdown.
Are you working fulltime too?
Then there needs to be a division of labour.
Make a list of ALL tasks that need doing each week- let him pick which ones he wants to do, then he has to do them.
Oh- and lower your standards
Does he choose to work such ling hours, or is he forced to? There is a difference- I know

I think that there is definitely an imbalance, and your DH needs to do more. I think if you read your thread as if it was written by a friend, that it is obvious.

During the week you are doing ALL the childcare and ALL the housework, as well as paid work. You are also up during the night. If your DH cannot reduce his work hours, he needs to take on a much greater share of the childcare, and housework at the weekend. It sounds as if you get almost NO time to yourself.

Sorry, I am aware I sound a bit ranty, but I agree with EachPeach

There's a thread on Am I being Unreasonable at the moment which you might find interesting. It doesn't sound like the DH in that case is necessarily like yours, but you might find some of the poster's responses help you see what is reasonable and what is unreasonable to expect in a partnership.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/734822-Im-a-dairy-farmers-wife-and-stay-at-home- mum

Ballsed that up ! Anyway, that's the one I mean