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Not sure what to call this - cousin/sibling jealousy??

4 replies

angelene · 06/04/2009 21:46

Hope this isn't too much of an essay, but here's my current dilemma...

My DD is three and a half and an only child, she is a very happy, contented, caring, imaginative little girl who loves myself and DH very much. She has never said that she would like a sibling but I'm sure that given the opportunity she would absolutely LOVE having a baby brother or sister - she is always playing 'pretending' type games and I lose count of the times she says to me 'you be the baby and I'll be the sister'.

DH and I have up to now been happy with our family being just the three of us, but over the last 3 or 4 weeks I have been feeling increasingly broody and am now at the stage where I actively want another child, and we are planning to start TTC when DD starts school.

My sister has a DS who is two days older than my DD, and the pair of them are very very close. We don't see them that often but they clearly have a lovely and loving relationship.

To my delight the other day my sister called and said that she's 9w pg. They are not planning to tell my nephew until after the 12 week scan.

My issue is how to approach this with my DD. I'm concerned that this will make her realise that babies can be 'produced' by humans iyswim and that I could 'produce' a baby in the same way that my sister can. I want to have a strategy for all the inevitable 'if my cousin can have a baby brother/sister why can't I?' questions, without making promises that I may not be able to keep wrt having another one (I am 35). I'm sure she will be a very indulgent cousin (I'm looking forward to being an indulgent aunty this time round! )

I hope I've written that clearly. Any help would be gratefully received!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
angelene · 06/04/2009 21:57

bump

OP posts:
DSM · 06/04/2009 22:05

If you are planning on TTC, then I wouldn't think it is an issue.

You don't have to give her the full facts, you can say something like 'maybe mummy will be pregnant soon, maybe not'. Stork story, or gift from God if you are religious.

BananaFruitBunny · 06/04/2009 22:08

Your DD may not even mention it!

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angelene · 06/04/2009 22:16

DSM - we are planning on TTC but in maybe 18m, which is obviously a million miles away in LittleGirlYears. And it may take ages, or not happen (no reason other than my age to think this). So I can't promise or say that maybe it will happen, as I know she'd ask me every day and I don't think I could cope with it.

BFB I hadn't really thought that - bonus if she doesn't - but I'd like to be prepared so I don't mumble and waffle.

Thanks for replying x

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