Help - is it ok to let newborn cry if I have to deal with my toddler?

[rubadubadoo]

Help please. I have a 3 week old baby and a 27 month old toddler. I try and comfort my baby everytime she cries but I'm getting stressed out. At the moment every time I put my baby down to get on and either change my toddler, give my toddler dinner/ tea or some attention, she starts to cry. The other day I was half way through sterilising bottles and she started and I carried on and finished the bottles whilst she continued to cry... I feel so guilty. I just don't see how anyone can get by if they always pick their baby up as soon as they start crying. I guess I'm just looking for someone to say it's Ok sometimes to let the baby cry if there are things that NEED to be done especially if I know she's been fed, winded and changed. It's just that all the literature these days says to not leave a baby to cry.... but I can't cope!

Same boat here too. No choice but to leave DS to cry at times when seeing to his big sister. It is not all bad, DS is now brilliant at going off to sleep by himself. He is also a happy and smiley chap despite not getting the undivided attention that his sister used to. A wise old HV (yes there are some about) told me that if both kids were crying then (assuming no immediate danger) I should always see to the toddler first and this makes sense to me. It does get easier, good luck.

I've just come out the other side of this - my toddler was 30 months when DS2 was born, DS2 is now 4 months.

Of COURSE you can't physically be in two places at once and sometimes that means someone has to cry - sometimes it will be the toddler, sometimes the baby.

If it helps, DS2 was left to cry A LOT in comparison to DS1 (who got picked up at the merest sniffle ) and you know what? He is actually incredibly chilled and easy going - much more so than his older brother was at the same age. So I strongly doubt it's done him any harm.

Don't worry - and be assured it does get better very quickly. In a few weeks she will be jouncing in her bouncer and smiling at you as you change her sister.

Don't worry - I'm sure you're doing fine.

My overriding memory of ds as a baby is crying in his bouncy chair on the doorstep (he was born in summer) where I had put him to watch the children playing outside while I cooked dd's dinner!

Your baby will get more predictable soon and you'll be able to schedule time for your toddler. Then with any luck you'll have a few peaceful months before baby starts crawling, nicks all the toddler's toys and the years of squabbling begin.

Oh the joys.

And by the time you get to number 3 you won't even think about all this any more. My dc3 was literally lifted from bed to car in the mornings (quick nappy change if lucky) to get dd1 to school!