Will my 4 year old daughter ever become potty trained ??

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my daughter is just over 4 and is still wetting herself about once a day and very rarely does a pooh on the toilet. (Aaah)
It's driving me mad, as she tends to pooh in stages throughout the day so I'm always having to change her knickers.
If we go to someones house with her, she has to wear a pull up.
She is mostly dry at nursery, but holds on to her pooh untill she comes home.
I've tried treats for when she does it from stickers to hairbands ect. She gets loads of praise and knows that it should go in the toilet. It just dosn't bother her at all.
I'm going to speek to the health visitor about it but wondered if you had any tips or advice. Thanks.

honestly truly if she is soiling herself several times per day I would put her back in nappies because she is clearly not actually toilet trained. Give yourselves both a break from the stress of it. I would rule out all medical causes like chronic constipation that can cause over flow and fecal inconitinence plus gluten intolerance which I think can cause problems like this too.

If she is doing "bits" of poo throughout the day, you really need to see your GP. There are various problems that this could be associated with and you want to check them out, just to be sure.

When she holds it for a long time she'll be getting constipated and that will make it hurt more when she cannot any longer , possibly causing her tummy pain and soreness which in turn will make her more reluctant. Does she drink plenty and eat a good amoiutn fo furit and veg ? On the other hand if it is loose enough to dirty herself then it sounds more like some form of intolerance or bug which may make it unpredictable for her and no amount fo admonishment will help that.

If you feel it is deliberate then could it be associated with the other babyish behaviour, wanting you to clean and change her and not being ready to take responsibility for herself. Could she be being teased and now play up to that image ?

Thanks, my sister actually has Coeliacs desiese which is a severe guiten allergy. So that would be worth checking for.
She eventually did a big poo today after about 5 little pooing accidents.
She also wet herself twice today. I'm getting really fed up of it now. I seem to spend my life cleaning up poo. Our house will soon start to smell like a farm.

I don't think it's deliberate, as she hates being cleaned up. She'd much rather sit in it all day. She screams when I use wipes on her. I use the natural baby ones and some warm water with some natural baby wash in it. I have to use warm water as well as the wipes as the poo is quite stubborn, it seems as if it's got sand in it.
She always says sorry, and seems upset that she's done it.

Does she eat a lot of wholegrain foods , sounds like she may not be able to digest something well. tbh I'd stop using any wipes . Show her how to clean herself properly with a shower and emphaiss she must admit it staright away if she has a mishap to avoid it being worse. If she is happy to sit in it she is either embarrassed, worried about a negative reaction or may even have sensory issues. I think you should make a list of all her behaviour in preparation for gp/paed appointment.

She eats wholgrain cerial for breakfast. She usually has bit size shredded wheets or cherio's.
I had to shower her tonight after her last accident, as it was somehow all up her back, down her legs etc. It's even tricky for me to clean her thoroughly, I kept finding more.

Yes, I'm going to make a list. I might keep a food diary for a while too, listing everything she's eaten and her bowel movements.

Haven;t read all the posts. Not quite the same as you but my dd 5 has repeat urine infections. She often says she has a tummy ache (urine infection) I would certainly get her checked for infection and then beyond that any other problems.

My DD often holds on to her poos. She has told me its because she's scared of the worms (had a couple of infestations of worms). But tbh we've always had problems with poos. I am now very relaxed (beofre I was a bit snappy) She often has a little wee in her knickers (also a symptom of urine infection) I say 'never mind, sit on the potty and we'll change your knickers.'

I have read alot about toilet issues and agree she may well have an impaction/constipation problem. You really need to get her to gp's and start the ball rolling.

btw MIL often goes off on a tnagent about dd 'shouldn't be weeing in her pants/should be out of nappies at night' pead says she's still young for being dry at night

That's a relief then as I don't think my daughter is anywhere neer being dry at night.
I don't mind though at all. She is a deep sleeper.