Discipline for a 20-month-old - what (if anything) is realistic?

[frazzledgirl]

DS has been horrific today - screaming, throwing things, pinching me.

Have confiscated the book he threw, made him sit in the middle of the floor on his own a couple of times.

We're trying to make him say sorry but he won't - he can say lots of things and a few simple sentences, so it's not a case of physically being unable to.

DH and I are both worn down but don't want to ask too much of DS and set him up to fail. What do you think is a realistic expectation for a child of DS's age?

IMO too young to say sorry.

A firm no should do at this age.

I work in a nursery with this age group (12-24 months).

If they do something we don't like, we generally use a firm "no thankyou, we don't...". For more serious things (hurting another child etc) we also remove them from the situation and sit them down on the floor next to us, especially if they need to calm down. Afterwards they are asked to apologise to the person they hurt - usually a brief hug or shoulder pat while an adult actually says the "sorry". The older ones will often, though not always, say sorry themselves.

Be prepared to repeat yourself over and over though - this age group haven't developed great impulse control yet.

Too young to punish. Distracting will work best or removing what he is messing with without comment.

My ds is also 20 months. I tell him in a firm voice, no. At times I will explain why he shouldn't do whatever he did and show and tell him how I expect him to behave. He may not understand everything I say, but he also won't if I don't explain iyswim.
I take away toys that he throws, or bashes the baby with etc.
When he hurts the baby I tell him no but then take his hand and show him how he is to touch the baby. In every case I think it's quite important to let them know how they are expected to behave, but I still think that now they are still a bit young to understand consiquences(sp?) of actions.

I bet none of that made any sense at all. Sorry. I was up all night with one or the other of my ds's and am starting to fade now.....

willowthewispa Perfect advice, will def be following with my 18mth old!

This is all great stuff, thank you. And at least we won't be expecting too much from him.

I work with a child with learning difficulties who functions around the 20mth mark. When he's pushing/snatching/a bit rough, I say his name firmly to get him to look at me, then I say "Gentle hands. Gentle". while stroking first my hand, then his gently. He's starting to understanmd now that if I just say "gently, gentle hands" he needs to soften his touch.