Going backwards, have we done the right thing?

[Alishanty]

My ds is 2.8 and we have been trying to potty train him for about 7 mths. He has never been keen on the potty but will wee at the toilet standing up. He has never managed a poo on the toilet, just poos in his nappy or pants. A few weeks after training him he started asking for the toilet but has since stopped asking. So I gather he knows the sensation. Today I have decided to go back to nappies for a bit as he is going through a contrary phase and does not want to do anything we ask. It is becoming a battle to even get him to the toilet. Dp thinks we should persevere but I don't want to make a big deal over it and am starting to think he just isn't ready and we should take the pressure of. He is very good with his speech so that isn't a problem. He has never been keen on going out and about at other people's houses or at nursery. We have tried stickers, chocolate, bribery etc to no avail. Do you think I have done the right thing by putting him back in nappies?

If after 7 months he has still not got it he isn't ready, put the nappies back on and take a breather for a while.

Have you tried "do you want to wee on that bit of toilet paper" or "do you think you can wee on that flower?"

Thanks. Well I think we will take a breather for a couple of weeks. He is such a contrary monkey that I am hoping after a couple of weeks of us not nagging him or talking about the toilet he will be more willing to try it.
I haven't tried that Ches but I will try it when we start again.

Yes I think you have done the right thing. It is not worth stressing yourselves or your DS - he will let you know when he is ready. He is still quite young; I couldn't even seriously start training DS1 until he was 3yo

He will be 4yo in July and has recently gone totally backwards in the potty training department, so he is back in nappies at the moment (as I can't keep up with the washing and he is getting very sore around the thighs). We will be trying out washable pull-ups when they arrive next week.

Forgot to add, we tried a couple of times last year but it didn't work, she was interested at Christmas and did really well for a month and then went backwards so straight into a nappy for a week, I now ask her in the morning what she wants to wear either nappy or pants, she always says pants, so I tell her every morning that if she wants to wear pants then she must go to the loo or ask. So far in 10 days we have had 1 accident. She is 3.2 by the way .

Hahaha Fivegomad, I've been asking DS every morning what he wants to wear and he always says pants. Despite me reminding him he will have to use the toilet, he always ends up back in nappies (usually as we run out of trousers ). I am hoping the washable pull ups won't be quite so comfortable for him.

It is reassuring to know that alot of them seem to 'get it' closer to 3yo. I think my intial reason for wanting him trained was because we had a new baby and didn't want 2 of them in nappies (we use cloth the majority of the time) but tbh I too cannot keep up with the washing with the constant accidents, especially as we have quite a sicky 8 mth old who covers everything. I have invested in some pull-ups for ds and some disposables for dd for occasional use so that we have enough nappies to go round. I may think about getting some of those washable pull-ups you were talking about washersaurus.

We thought as well that we could get DD trained in time for DS's arrival but that didn't work.

Wash I will let you know when we are next in nappies

I have had 2 in cloth - it wasn't that bad. What I can't keep up with is washing all the wet trousers!

The pullups I have ordered are pocket bots ones, I haven't tried them but they come very highly recommended by another MNer and the lady who makes them is really helpful. I am hoping to claim back some of the money using the council incentive scheme.

I have had to use disposables more on DS2 than I ever did with DS1 in cloth, but like you say - it is difficult to keep up with the washing all the time. We initially were only using them on DS1 at night as our nappies got too small for him and starting leaking, but in desperation I have resorted to them during the day. I don't think they have helped to encourage him to use the toilet tbh.

its so nice to hear others are in the same boat! my 3.3yr old ds2 won't even go near potty or toilet. he will wear pants and then wet them, could go though a dozen sets a day!