Full time students with young children- how feasible is it REALLY?

[Haylstones]

I have applied to do a full time course in September but am now having second thoughts. It involves 1/5 days in uni as well as lots of placements and course work. It would allow me to do my dream job!
I have a 5yo dd and 1yo ds so spend an inordinate amount of time running round after them. Dh works silly hours and has to work away fairly regularly although he is around all weekends. We have no family nearby and friends can only help out in a real emergency- dd goes to an after school club and ds to a nursery already so it would involve increasing their hours.
I'd also have to do some part time work as I won'tbe entitled to any financial help other than student loans(hopefully some of it will count as my placement) so this adds to the pressure
I don't want to commit to something I can't see through so would really appreciate some honest opinions on whether or not this is feasible/likely to break me. (I am a self confessed control freak andthe admissions tutor has already told me that there is an increased risk of divorce for mature students! )

I meant 1.5 days a week!

I did my undergrad degree and my MA with small children. You need to be super organised and use your time well but it is managable.

I think it made me more determined in a way because it was such hard work, and expensive and a waste of time if you don't do it properly.

There is obviously less scope for hanging out in the bar.

I can't believe your tutor told you that!

1.5 days a week probably manageable, but you will totally out on a limb if everyone else on the course is living there and helping each other out with assignments for the other 3.5 days lol.

i have to say it is easily the most stressful thing i've done. i've got 3 dcs and in all honesty had not realised how time consuming pick-ups and childminders, and toing and froing actually was. in my innocence, i thought, oh, they're at the cms and after school club on those days, it will be fine. is your 1yo going to have any other cm/ nursery time, or just when you are in college?

it is possible - don't want to be negative, but it will be bl**dy hard work...

dh also travels frequently for a week or two at a time, and i have to say that organising the daily grind without an extra pair of hands and then getting to college on time (what time do you have to be there lol?) is a feat in itelf... i turned up a few weeks ago for my first lecture having dropped 4 children at two different schools, painted one of them purple, and collected a prescription from the hospital en route, and all i really wanted to do was go home for a cup of tea, not sit through a day of lectures lol. and everyone else sort of wandered in having got out of bed ten minutes earlier it's marginally easier now it's only two drop-offs and not 3, but it is still a pita tbh.

go on, you can do it, but don't underestimate exactly what it will entail lol.

I know, was a bit shocked. He said that many people learn so much about themseslves when returning to education that they change andare no longer compatible with their partners. I met dh whilst midway through my first degree so I hope he knows what to expect!
Thanks for advice- think that's my main concern about spending all that money and having to drop out. They have said I can drop to part time at any point but it would then take aaaggges.
I need to have a serious think about it and speak to dh about pulling his weight more around the house and with the dc.

Yes, the pick-ups and childcare can be a minefield, especially when a lecture suddenly changes time or something. I found I got very fit marching from school to nursery to campus though which was a bonus.

We definitely had periods where we grew apart, mainly because there was no time to spend together. We got through it though, and have since got married and had a third dc.

I am, however, thinking of going back in September!

Yes, being a control freak does worry me as I already put so much pressure on myself. Dh's solution is to let my standards in the house drop a little but that is Not Going To Happen!
Most of the other people on the course are of a similar age and expereinces so I think we'd pretty muchbe in the same boat- it's not the type of course people do straight from school so I'm not too worried about being an oldie (although I don't much like being called mature when I'm only 30!)

I'm doing a FT PGCE and in honesty, I'm not enjoying it.

I find it really stressful having to juggle childcare of 2 under 3s, placements, uni and endless assignments and paperwork. I'm in my first trimester of my third pregnancy so I am exhausted and nauseous. If I could afford to quit, I would. My new phrase is 'roll on July', because then it will all be over!

Sorry, just giving you the other side of the coin!

Oh, I also have a 1.5 hour commute in rush hour to get to lectures, so I have to be up early and be super-organised! I hate it !

Can I just add to the good advice already given here? Is your dh prepared to do loads of housework, etc, when you've got exams/essay deadlines? This sounds negative, but if you're a control freak (like me) you'll want to do loads of revision, yet still want the house to be, if not spotless, then still clean.

One partial solution may be to study part time. I don't know if that's possible with the course you're doing, but I found it much easier. I know it'll take longer, but it's less stressful all round.

That will be good if your peers are in the same boat. When I did mine everyone was either straight from school or much older with grown up children. Even though I was only in my twenties it was a world away having two children.

I actually carried dd up several flights of stairs and let her sleep in the corner a couple of times when I was caught short. They were very god about it.

that sounds hiedous cupoftea
There are no exams on the course, which eases things slightly but it will still be 3 intense years and I don't want to set myself up to fail. They do 3 semesters a year instead of exams so I wouldn't have a huge amount of time off.
Dh is putting so much pressure on me to do it as he knows how badly I want to but I don't think he's grasped how hard it will be for all of us.I couldn't afford for ds to be in nursery any more than absolutely necessary so most of the work would have to be done when he naps or in the evenings/ weekends.

I think the lecture time is key really isn't it. Full time like PGCE must be very hard.

Mine was arts so actual attendance time wasn't that taxing, maybe 10 hours after the first year and I could do most of the work at home. It was still hard finding the time to do that but it was managable.

Dh isn't good on the housework front. He just doesn't see the necessity of it! I find it hard to relax and switch off if the house isn't clean and tidy so there is no way I could study if it was like that.
I already collapse into a heap at 7pm every night without adding extra work on top but ds is extremely cliny and non- mobile so perhaps by September things will be slightly easier in that respect? Although I guess he'll be napping less by then!

I got pregnant halfway through my MA and I felt quite rough for ages. I can't imagine managing that with a heavy course like yours cupoftea. You must be very determined. Hope it works out for you.

You can still engineer that all important long lunchtime nap. I go to great lengths to keep it. I'm not great at working in the evening either.

Just another suggestion - get dh to set aside at least say 5 days of holiday to cover for you when you just have to get something in or be somewhere. We did that this year to submit my PhD and it has been a big help as we can't afford more childcare.

Don't totally rule out going part-time if you really need to. It seems like it will take forever and can get depressing for that reason but it does get done - I effectively went PT for my last year which has taken 2.5 years. It did feel never-ending but I'm glad I did it.

Also, dh takes dd out etc on Saturdays and I work that day. It's just a routine now. He did get fed up with it but again - I just needed the time and hopefully today is his last compulsory day!

Im a third year degree student- just about to take kids out to ball pit for an hour (hell on earth)

Ill be back later to describe my experience- im surprised I have made it this far- but I have, and it hasnt been easy- If I can do it, anyone can.

back later

Sorry, had to dash out to dropdd at a party and do the weekly shop
Thanks for all the words of wisdom

Dh has been doing the weekly shop on a Saturday with dd for the last year while I study. I've promised to do it next weekend though when I'm finally done

I did get dh to come with me today- bonus! It's so tricky trying to do it with 13mo ds in tow and i can never remember to do my online shop in time.
MIL is due to arrive later today so I probably won't get a chance to talk to dh about it much for the next week but I will definitely come to a decision by next week....hopefully

i am in fourth year of a very full time degree. it has been very difficult at times, especially as i live on my own with dd. xp was little help for the first three years but will take her one night a week this year.

i only have one dd but she was only one when i started. i have no car and it usually takes two hours round trip for me to leave college, collect her from childcare and get home. it is my dream that someone would shower her, cook my dinner and sweep the floor just once a month. just once.

you'd think i'd be depressed out of my brains wouldn't you? but seriously i am so happy. such a sense of achievement. when i'm studying and bettering (?!) myself i feel like i'm truly living. it can be done, people are capable of all sorts of amazing things. if i can do it...seriously...anyone could! however i am motivated, albeit not solely, by money as i will be the sole breadwinner for my house. if you are not under that pressure to earn you may not be as motivated all the time.

best of luck with your decision

I'm doing a 4 year course and am nearly half way through. It's VERY hard juggling everything - course days, placements and assignments - around childcare etc (have 2 DC, both at school) but I echo what everyone else has said, it IS possible if you are organised (and prepared to have weeks where you lower your food/clean house standards). My DH works silly hours and does nothing around the house or any childcare, so the buck stops with me. It's very important to know in advance what you'll do if one child is ill on a lecture/placement day - these things happen!! All in all though you definitely get more out of it second time round and are more focused - just don't expect to have time for a social life!!!!

When I started my tutor said that students with kids tend to prune their friendships so that by the end of the course they are only spending time with their real friends - superficial relationships don't last as you no longer have time for them - to some extent this has definitely been true for me.