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Parenting

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Original poster

Please tell me what you think about house rules for kids ...

21 replies

lovecamping · 31/03/2009 21:51

With three young kids, my house is a mad house most of the time. our middle child might also have adhd (too young to get assessed) so we're thinking of introducing some 'house rules' (very supernanny i know) but it might help all of us ... please tell me what you think, if you use them and do they work???

thank you

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

paranoidmother · 31/03/2009 22:45

we have the following rules, not sure if this is what you meant but here we go:

at least one adult sits and eat with DC's at each meal
no toys at table, no tv - radio on if being good, low in background.
no-one leaves the table till everyone has finished
no pudding/dessert/fruit until a good attempt at the main course has been made and everything has been tried properly.
Eldest DC (4) helps to lay table and DS (2) carries plastic glasses
Must tidy away toys before dinner so no-one trips on them (Great gran comes to tea each evening so trip hazzard for her)
PJ's away under pillow each morning
dirty clothes in evening into washing basket and same with any other clothes that have to be changed

-no annoying the animals

no screaming indoors (the rooms are so small is echos)
toys will be taken away if arguing goes on too long
shoes/jackets etc always put away
midbehaving and toys/treats/extra time outside gets taken away

I think we do more but that's all I can think of.

mrsjammi · 31/03/2009 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

lovecamping · 01/04/2009 05:04

thanks so much paranoidmother. your list is really helpful. they are the kind of rules i want to have in our house. its also good to know that your kids are young as well.

i've been up since 2.30am because my 3.5yr old cannot sleep!!!!

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seeker · 01/04/2009 06:34

We have 3.

Don't be a Dingbat
Keep Calm and Carry On
Be Kind.

We find it covers everything!

cory · 01/04/2009 07:50

I think house rules work best if they aren't just for the kids but for the whole family. (And are not allowed to totally dominate the conversation.)

Ours are mainly dominated by the frailties of our house: don't stand on the settee (it is old and was cheap and will tip over), don't throw anything in the living room unless you personally want to mop up 240 ltrs of water...that sort of thing.

BonsoirAnna · 01/04/2009 07:56

I don't think we have "house rules" but we definitely have "family standards of behaviour", which I think is what cory is talking about. DP and I expect the DCs to behave with the same degree of respect for ourselves and others that we do.

seeker · 01/04/2009 08:14

Yes. Ours apply to everyone in the house - and dp and I are reminded of this on a regular basis!

GooseyLoosey · 01/04/2009 08:28

We have some house rules and they do apply to everyone (the dcs are 4 and 5)!

Sit down nicely together for meals - no playing at the table and no reading (for dh)

No calling anyone nasty names.

Washing in the laundry basket and clean washing put away.

If you have finished in a room, tidy up before leaving it (I have problems enforcing this one).

If you are cruel or rude to anyone in the family, you get one warning and then at TV/milk time, you get to do some cleaning (this applies to dh and I too)

Shoes, coats and bags always put away and never leave things lying about in the hall or on the stairs.

Our most important rule (and we even have it written down) is to try not to make anyone sad and if we think we have, to try and make it better.

SunshineIsAMiracleCure · 01/04/2009 08:35

we had a load-the-dishwasher rota once, if that counts as a rule? otherwise no

paranoidmother · 01/04/2009 10:33

I like the idea of standards of behaviour - we have no name calling, no making anyone sad as well.

I have problems enforcing the tidy rule as well but I'm going to keep at it. In fact I find the worst person for the tidy rule is my mother who we share a house with! She never puts anything away.

I've managed to stop things being left on the stairs which was always a problem of lazyitus.

We have standards that we expect the DC and us to behave to, basic manners I suppose a lot of it is.

We got rid of the dishwasher and no-one would unload it.

Ohforfoxsake · 01/04/2009 10:45

Only have rules which are there for good reason, like don't stand on the chairs they will tip back. You have to be able to explain why it matters. If I have taken the trouble to cook something new, they have to at least have one spoonful of it. No toys or TV at the dinner table, it is too distracting. Totally agree with rules for everyone. DP isn't allowed to stand on the furniture anymore than I am allowed to chew and talk at the same time.

I couldn't have a 'tidy the room before you leave it' as I would lose the will to live trying to enforce it.

CaptainKarvol · 01/04/2009 10:45

I like 'don't be a dingbat'. Think I will introduce that one to DS(3), who is a dingbat quite a lot at the moment

sobeda · 01/04/2009 11:25

DH always tells the children the number rule is 'don't hurt your head'. (!)

seeker · 01/04/2009 12:47

I don't think anyone has listed a rule that isn't covered by my 3!

paranoidmother · 01/04/2009 14:22

I think you're right Seeker

Original poster

lovecamping · 02/04/2009 21:18

you're probably right Seeker. So how to you explain what is a dingbat to a 7, 3(hyperactive) and 2 year old?? (i'm not being sarcastic honest)

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percy2006 · 02/04/2009 21:34

my 4 yr dd came back from a friends house the other day and they had a no elbows on the table rule WTF? am I a slob or is this a really out of date rule as it honestly never occured to me!! obviously I wont let her slouch all over the dinner table but for gods sake this seems a bit harsh.

seeker · 02/04/2009 21:57

Ah. Lovecamping (me too by the way) - I think you need to have used the word when talking to your child (and others in the family) since birth!

Original poster

lovecamping · 02/04/2009 22:55

so what is a 'dingbat'?? what behaviour constitutes 'dingbat' bahaviour??

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Othersideofthechannel · 03/04/2009 05:08

We have far more rules than I would like because DS thrives on routine and rules. The minute we do anything it becomes a rule unless we specifically say it is a "special exception".

I agree with having the same rules for adults although with younger children they have to be let off a bit because 'they are still learning that rule'.

seeker · 03/04/2009 06:20

Dingbat covers a wide range of behaviour. Here are a few recent example chez Seeker.....

Leaving homework at home(particularly after being reminded)

Getting in the train to London with the only set of car keys in your pocket ( so that everyone else had to walk 2 miles to the station carrying a 3 foot square model of the solar system)

Not tying up shoelaces when reminded and then tripping over them.

Leaving dirty plates on the table (so that the table's not clear when you need to use it)

Doing a massive supermarket shop and forgetting the teabags

Not putting dirty favourite jeans in the washing basket (so they aren't clean when you want to wear them)

Refusing to turn your light off when told and reading late (so that you feel awful in the morning)

Having a massive row about whose turn it is to take the rubbish out (ao there's no time to watch Top Gear before supper)

I could go on......

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