Anyone go from total chaos to establishing some sort of household routine?

[suiledonn]

How did you do it and do you think it has improved your lives?

I have a dd who will be 3 in a few weeks and a 4 month old and I am a SAHM. I have never liked routine. I don't wear a watch and rarely look at a clock. I am disproportionately tired for the amount I actually achieve. We get up when we wake up and then I just rush around all day achieving very little. I'm never sure when dd2 will nap or want her next feed. It's chaos here all the time. I have zero time to myself and DH and I occasionally get to say 'hello' in passing and thats the extent of our relationship these days.

I am close to breaking point and need to make some changes but not sure where to start. Any ideas?

Ideally would like to get up every day 8 - 8.30 and fit it some housework, time with dd1 and some time outside the house. Help

Well done! Keep up the good work!

Kitchens are a lot more work than living rooms IME. You could go cupboard by cupboard.

Start wearing a watch, for starters. Not because you need to put DC on a timetable, but it helps to know where you are in the day and how much time you have (approximately) until lunch/tea etc.

Yes. your list is too big. One room at a time, one task within that room. Broken up into 15 minute chunks.

So every day do ONE pile of clutter or ONE drawer or ONE toy basket.

Have a binbag with you. And two boxes.

Crap in the bin. Box 1 for stuff to action. Box 2 for stuff to store/archive.

Bin the crap. Store the stuff you're saving.

After you've had a tea break, action the Box 1 stuff. Respond to letters, file papers, pack up clothes or toys to give away.

Be ruthless about throwing things away.

PS when you sort clothes, make sure you have big sticky labels and pen to hand. that way you save having to go through them again...

Wilself...I agree...do the big list but only set yourself a small task...one drawer shelf...one form to return a day....otherwise you can get overwhelmed then procrastinate....or you start something big.... and create even more mess ...been there many times. I had pnd...take it easy take are of yourself ...if you and your children are safe, fed, and loved...the rest doesnt matter. pnd and 2 little ones is exhausting ...but will get better so pace yourself...one say get out every day....you make less mess that way also great for the mental state. And decide which bit yo u will keep on top of...eg the kitchen work surface

Wilself...I agree...do the big list but only set yourself a small task...one drawer shelf...one form to return a day....otherwise you can get overwhelmed then procrastinate....or you start something big.... and create even more mess ...been there many times. I had pnd...take it easy take are of yourself ...if you and your children are safe, fed, and loved...the rest doesnt matter. pnd and 2 little ones is exhausting ...but will get better so pace yourself...one say get out every day....you make less mess that way also great for the mental state. And decide which bit yo u will keep on top of...eg the kitchen work surface

Also I should have said before that IMHO anyone coping with a toddler and a small baby and doing ANY cleaning/cooking/whatever at all is, in fact, already doing a splendid job and shouldn't beat themselves up for anything.

Be kind to yourself.

What time are your kids bedtimes?

My own rules

I always put at least one wash in the day.

Kids have 3 meals in the days and snacks. (so i know there feed and there bellys are full for a nights sleep)

Sit and have tea and me time at least once during the day

Put one pile of cloths away (i find cloths the hardest to stay on top of)

A quick tidy around the house

Trip to the shop or park to get out of the house for a while.

Go with the flow as much as i can.

With kids it is hard to stay on top of everything so dont beat your self up about housework, it will be done sometime. De-clutter is a great thing. did it myself yesterday and feel better for it..

I would be up every morning around 8am and go from there.

Excellent thread! I'm taking some of these tips for myself. I only have 1 DD age 2 at the moment and am expecting DC2 in August. Need to try to sort the house out to put it on the market as need a bigger house but fail to achieve much during the week. I work 2 nights per week too so don't like to overdo it on the days I'm working & then after I've been to work I'm exhausted and struggle to manage even the basics of caring for DD! I don't have a very good routine as DD often goes to bed quite late so no opportunity to do housework after she is in bed as too tired by then and then she gets up when she wakes up and I tend to take advantage of the time to sleep.

This morning I did get up before she woke up and it was nice to have 1/2hr or so of peace and quiet to just potter around and I achieved quite a lot. I had my breakfast & then I managed to sort through a pile of paperwork that had been dumped on the table and removed the limescale from the draining board. Then whilst she sat in her highchair eating breakfast, I vaccuumed downstairs. It made me realise that a few minutes here and there does make quite a difference so I will try to keep doing this everyday.

suiledonn, I could have written your post! I had PND with my first and lived in chaos. so, so draining, especially when DH came home and i had to fight feelings of guilt.

Then DS2 arrived and took all the PND away, and I suddenly got fed up of the chaos and started pushing myself to get some sort of system in place. Easier for me, though, as DS1 is at school so I have more time! But I completely empathise - some people are just Born Organised, and the rest of us just don't have brains that can think 8 years in advance or put things together in logical places (i.e., all wrapping paper/sellotape/birthday cards together, although actually I might do that now).

What I did was try Flylady. Have you heard of her/it? You'd love it, it's written for people like us. She is not born organised, she is scatty, but brought herself to order and can teach us to, too. See here I bought her book, Sink Reflections, which is very funny and VERY helpful. There are also Flylady threads on here you can join.

She taught me to do stuff at the same time every day, and when I do it , the house runs so smoothly and I'm so much less stressed.

One thing hit me from your post: the bit about sorting and re-sorting clothes for charity shops. Charity shops will take everything and if they can't sell it, they'll chop it up into scrap (for blankets) or throw it themselves. So take the entire lot there. They won't hate you - they'll be pleased.

Please get the flyLady book. It's so brilliant and she sort of gets inside your head and teaches you to think like a Born Organiser. Her mantra is "You can do anything for 15 minutes", so i'm ALWAYS setting the timer for 15 minutes and doing one room - blitzing the kitchen, etc. It's amazing, REALLY amazing how much you get done in 15 minutes. Really, really, really. I'm always surprised. Some days I just do 30 minutes' tidying/cleaning and the whole house (smallish, but not tiny) is transformed.

Please do come back and keep us informed!