The school gates make me feel awkward and anxious

[millu]

Hi
I am probably a bit of a loon but I dread the school run every day it makes me feel so anxious and I feel terrible when I do it.
The problem is me I am hopeless at talking to people and can never think of a thing to say, and never know who to talk to and don,t even try half of the time if I see someone I know talking to another person as I would feel as though I am butting in.
I am quite a shy person always have been which as always been a pain for me and has held me back on many things.
I deliberatly try to time my arrival at the school just as my ds is ready and waiting for me so I don,t have to endure standing like a freak on my own I find that pure agony.
Its the same on a morning I try to time things so that I get there were my ds can run straight into school.
I really don,t know why I am like this but its really making me miserable because I know its not the way to be and I would love nothing more than to chat away to everyone with real confidence and be able to think of loads to say.
What is the matter with me I can,t go on like this for the next how many years.
Is there anyone else like this or is it just me.

It's not easy doing the whole school gates thing so instead of thinking about getting into conversations with people just smile and say hello if you make eye contact with anyone and be yourself - it does get much better over time

Hi millu

you're not a loon at all.

There always seem to be a lot of people on the school run who know each other, are going off for coffee/a run/or something, and it can be a bit intimidating.

I don't normally do any school runs as I work ft and my lovely CM does all the dropping off and picking up. DS loves it if I can drop him off (he's not so worried about picking up) even though he ignores me as soon as he sees his mates. I am a very confident person but I do get quite stressed re the school run (what to wear, who to speak to, should I have a cake with me, etc). I find it useful to:

• talk to anyone who smiles
• look for the other mums who aren't in a clique
• butt in on anyone I know, as really most people are friendly and also nosy so they are quite happy to chat
• say something very English about the weather, that always works.
• maybe think of something from the weekend that you can comment on, maybe the news or (once again) the weather or something you've done or not done.

hth

You are not a loon! I am one of the least shy, talk to anyone sort of people on earth but I still don't find this so easy. I do as tiger driver suggests - after a while you get a few 'anchors' in the sea of cliques!

how old is your ds?
I found in reception there were so many parties to go to it was easy to talk to people there and then I had someone to say hello to at the gate
often I don't talk to anyone though but so do other people
the way I look at it is these people aren't goign to be friends for life
in a few years we'll all be at different secondary schools
there will be no school run because the kids will get themselves to school by walking or by bus
it's not like when you start universitry and if you don't make friends you'll be on your own for 3 years
so you have nothing to lose really by going for it