dh says i am TO BLAME for dd's cheekiness..

[hermykne]

shes 6 1/2 and i can see her behaviour changing albeit because of school & asserting her identity and questioning all the time why people do certain things (usual not nice) things to other kids (inc her) in school. so she get a bit cheeky with me , my attitude i correct her. talk firmly ,tell her why not to be and try to move on and change the mood .
dh tells me my way has her the way she is.
and this is a lovely little girl who has been absolutely no bother i can take her anywhere so its not in her nature , but i knoe its just a behavourial thing that will pass (& come back in teenager form) but dh is a f'ing wall and he just insults me to the core with his attacks. i actually could say i hate for it.

He's being ridiculous!!! My ds behaved and spoke beautifully until he started school and then it ALL changed!!! The children get to the end of infants and they suddenly have the ability to assert themselves BIG TIME!!!! You can tell your dh that your daughter's behaviour is normal

Actually one of the worst things parents can do is lapse into acrimony and blame for children's behaviour.

Time to discuss this rationally. Tell your DH that this is a hurtful suggestion and ask him what evidence he has for his assertions. Have a reasoned discussion.

so much for trying to talk reasonably.
he still says i am the reason shes cheeky.
and heres why
the two of them go to bed (in same room) and are chatting, which i love to hear them too at the end of the day, even thou they should be asleep! but ds asks "can we talk", dh answers no whereas i say yes for 3mins (using the logic that giving a time limit that i ll then say ok oyu had 3 mins now sleep time)(we're in diff rooms so i didnt know who they called out to me or him so both answered) and he argues that by me saying 3mins is allowing her see that she can get away with "it". and she then thinks she is an adult!. even its ds who asked, she'd be asleep only for him chatting. So This bullshit logic I cannnot take its so old fashioned.
so i tell him this morning he is wrong about me i do my very best for them and in now way does my attitude to her make her behave cheekily. nor the fact that my firends and i have the same conversation about their kids, that he laughs at. he's crap really.

I think its great how your ds wants to talk, and setting a limit on it lets him know that you are willing to be their for him and are interested in him.

Your DD is completly normal as soonas they go to school they are interacting with kids from all sorts of backgrounds and in families that allow/accept various levels of behaviour and it is only natural that your DD will pick up on it.

I think your OH is being either old fashioned or is simply uneducated in what he belives in unsuitable behaviour, imo it is better to have a DD that feels able to question things than one who is meek and lets people take advantage in the future.

What was your OH upbringing like? As it may have had some effect on what he is saying and beliveing, also I don't see how a short chat is going to matter in the long term sleep does it matter that they are awake for a little while more? I think as a previous poster has mentioned you need to have a decent talk with him explaining this to him and telling him how he makes you feel, and you need to work together as parents.