DD's ''playdates'' with neighbours son.

[ADealingMummy]

I still feel really upset that I sat quietly whilst my 2 yr old DD was being continually pinched (marked skin) and pushed over by my neighbour's son who is 3 next month.
I just sat there ,so that his mother would discipline him. She did tell him off , but put lots down to boisterous play.

DD was confused by his behaviour , and tried to kiss him .

Mumsnetters , what is okay to say to a small child , so that he would understand .

I really like my neighbour , but I will not be taking my DD over for the time being.

Thankyou

At that age I'd proabably go over to DD and make a big fuss of her so that he twigs that she gets all the attention (remove her from the situation/sit her on your knee/kisses etc). What I'd say to him would depend on what mother was saying/doing to show him its not appropriate.

I would steer clear if she does nothing. It's a sign of things to come. I would have a word with her if she's a friend, it is a sign of things to come so it's best to sort this out now.

thankyou Hairy, in that case I don't feel so bad then , because I did cuddle her.

She's my first , so I just don't know appropriate response in these circumstances. I am laid back , and she mixes with lots of children , but not any like my neighbours son.

On the rare occasion a parent doesn't intervene, then I do. My advice would be to generally remove your dc, say 'let's kiss it better' (to sooth them and indicate to the other parent that they ought to do something).

If the other child is still being unkind and the other parent does not deal with it, then I will say "No" and shake my head and give them "the look" - but I am a teacher and the parent probably assumes I am always this bossy!

Another tactic is to get down on the floor and play with them - the last time I did was at a soft play place where dd(2) was getting a bit knocked around.

It's a parents role to discipline their child, not put things down to their age or being boysterous. There's a line, shouting is one thing, harming someone is another and should never be tolerated.

Nothing worse than watching a parent be totally ineffective whilst their offspring is taking chunks out of yours.

He'll grow out of it. You have to have eyes in the back of your head in the mean time though so you can step in and distract/remove her when he's getting a bit much.

Thankyou scrooged, I think it's better if we go for walks, rather than indoors. He's better with her outside, (though still not great).

I am a great one for avoiding confrontation. Can never find the right words.

I don't think he will grow out of it, especially if he has a parent not doing anything about it, he'll think it's OK and it's not. I'd be having words with the mum.

I didn't mind saying to other peoples kids "no we don't do that" or whatever if the parent is being useless or hasn't seen what is happenning.

Understand your reluctance though. Mine are older now and I have to say some children I have over you still have to tell them some basics (not standing on furniture/taking turns etc!).