is the time right now? (long)

[ilovetochat]

I have been on a few potty training threads recently.
i got dd a potty at xmas when she was 18 months and left it about. one day she sat on it and pood before her bath. so after that i offered her the potty morning and night, after naps, and every hour or so.
she started doing all her poos on it except 4 since jan and does lots of wees on it.
sometimes she says weewee/potty/change and if i undress her quick enough she uses the potty.
sometimes i just offer the potty and often she will use it, sometimes she says no.
if i dont offer it then she will normally just wee.
we have just been on holiday involving a 2hr drive there. when we got there her nappy was dry and she used the potty straight away. while away she has used the potty lots and somedays only had 2 nappies all day.
one day at swimming pool she said potty when we got out, i didnt have the potty there so held her on the toilet but she cried so i had to put her a nappy on and she cried for potty.
before her nap today she had no nappy on and kept sitting on the potty and jumping off, i said potty or nappy and she chose potty but still did nothing. she then asked for a sticker book so i told her to wee on the potty and she could have a sticker, she sat down and weed on the potty so to me that shows she can control it.
she is now coming 21 months. i have her in pull ups mostly as i rarely have to change her. she cant undress at all, not even simple trousers. i havent found any pants small enough for her yet, she is about to go into 12-18 month clothes but not quite yet.
Should i put her in pants and go for it or continue as i am till its hotter.
we go away again in june then abroard sept so would need to be done before june or before sept, or is that too much pressure?
any advice/tips welcome especially for younger children who cant use toilet/undress.

it sounds like your on the right course but im not sure if 100 % ready un less you try if too many accident s then go back to pull ups and asking and prompting

my ds was ready at this age then few months later needed to go back in nappies as novelty had worn off

then the same again few months later and when he was 3 was dry over night no looking back

its best to just go with the flow but expect set backs and not be put off or worry about it if it does happy the older they get the more they understand and cope better with it

we found the fold up pottys handy as can be kept in handbag or under pushchair

i wouldn't expect in your mind to have them dry by a certain time as there ready when there ready

thanks bubblagirl, i didnt mean i want her trained by a certain date i just dont want to be carrying a potty round on holiday with me if i can help it so want to do it before or after hols.
if i could get some pants i would try her for a couple fo days in the house i think to see how she went and see if an accident where she actually got wet might give her the final push she needs to always use the potty.

when i trialed ds i left him with no clothes on first from waist down so he could use potty when needing it then when he had mastered that i then added a layer

you may find accidents will occur anyway so just make sure you carry spare clothes and a pull up just in case

ds took several attempts still has accidents his nearly 4

she's doing well good luck

i have read mixed things really, that leaving them bare works but then they wet as soon as they are in pants, that pull ups confuse them, etc. i think i would have to leave her bare as she cant master clothes. i always leave her bare morning and night for half hour and she goes to the potty herself and uses it 90% of the time. i think she is close but i might be wrong.
how many accidents:successes is normal for training going well. and how quickly should it improve before giving up?

im not sure as children of school age can still have accidents if doing more than 8 changes in a day i would say start again in few months or weeks

i was told no pants so they get used to being able to go on urge then add layer so they get used to how to pull them down and then 2 layers when they are more than confident my ds at that age couldn't pull down trousers or pants so was unfair to have them on as getting wet would distress him

its normal when first adding the pants to be wet alot as they forget or cant pull them down in time

personally i was glad to have left ds again until he was older as he was more capable to do it himself and was dry literally over night i put pants on for pre school and he came out dry

you should give it a few weeks and if no improvement put back in pull ups with regular usage of potty to keep it going

if she is using independently then she is doing really well i'd go with it but if it starts to go the other way dont be afraid to go back and start again in few months

I think DD is doing really well. I second the fold up potette, brilliant for taking about with you, and away on holiday, beach etc. You may have to start taking a potty everywhere, as she seems upset at using a nappy or big toilet. It could set her back if you don't supply a potty when she needs it, she may conclude that you don't actually want her to use one and start wetting her pull-ups again. Potty training should really be done when the child is ready, not at a convenient time of the parents choosing. You may find that you actually carry less stuff with you, than when you carried a bag full of nappies! You can make savings by making your own potette liners, depending on the size of the one you get, the small one can take large nappy sacks, the potette plus will take pedal bin liners, and you can use cheap sanitary pads or sheets of kitchen roll for absorbency.

If you decide to put her in pants full time, remember to dress her in easily accessible clothing, so no tight jeans with buttons and zips, no dungarees, no bodysuits. You will have to help her undress, and quickly when she needs the potty, so elasticated waists are best. I always expected to have to pull down/up clothes in the early stages of training, because they don't have the speed and dexterity in a hurry! You need to wipe them anyway after a poo. The clothing confusion varies enormously from child to child, it's something they have to get used to. My DS was aware that a pull-up was an emergency back-up in case of an accident, and would still ask for a wee or poo.

Absorbent pads for her to sit on in the pushchair/carseat/supermarket trolley/cafe seat are a good idea; either the disposable changing ones, or washable types, will save a flood. Take lots of spare clothes out with you.

You may find in a few months when you are due to go away, that DD will be OK with using a toilet, so you could get her a folding loo seat reducer. And get her used to being held over the ground to wee outdoors, for when there is no other option!

thank you both, i have a really small potty which i have been taking out with me to playgroups etc and she has used it when out and about if prompted. (didnt take it swimming cos of lockers etc)
she is in pull ups at the moment and will say wee/poo/potty so she doesnt just wet herself cos of the pull up so i dont think they are confusing her.
she will hold herself for upto 2 hours, like on a journey, and then use the potty when we get home.
she is often dry after naps.
she is ill at the moment and has wet her nappy all day apart from once but she has still managed to do 2 poos in the potty.
id say she is 90% clean and 60% dry now.
i am shocked at the 8 changes a day, had no idea i could be changing that many clothes, i think i will def try her bare in the house for the start.
i have bought her lots of dresses for the summer so hopefully they will be easier to manage, just pull up.
do i have to take her out of vests? should i get short vests instead of the ones with poppers or just forget vests completely.
how long will i be staying in for.

i would say short vests a gave my ds few days at home with nothing on bottom half but every child is so different with how and when they will take to something i think you'll have to go with trial and error and if you feel its not working just go with how you feel but just no pressure on her as it will become negative and will probably take a step back

she seems to be doing well i had to ask my son every 30 mins when out took him into whatever toilet came by even when his now independent weeing i still need to ask him as children get engrossed in something and forget

so if out just ask every so often do you need a wee i used bed mats folded in 4 on pushchair if wet one side could be used again just needed turning over

don't feel too anxious if its too much hard work she's not ready leave it and try again if your getting success 90% time its about the same with my ds now and he is dry children will have accidents no matter how long they have been dry

you dont have to stay in if needing to go out but just have time at home with nothing on when out just stick to asking if she needs to wee gradually she'll get used to it and gain more bladder control anyway which she seems to be doing so well with already go about life as normal just at home leave nothing on so she can go independently

thanks bubblagirl, sometimes if i ask her do you need a wee she says no but if i leave the potty there she wees 5 mins later so i cant trly on her to answer me truthfully, especially if she is playing.
she is very independent and will often wiat till im out the room then use the potty then come and tell me.
will look for bedmats for the car/buggy.

I think she is defiitely ready, if she is 90% clean and 60% dry you are basically there. All you need to do is give her the opportunity to complete the process (once she's better though). I would imagine that within about 3 or 4 days of being in pants with no back up of nappies she will be completely potty trained. By the sounds of it i doubt you'll be in for more than the occasional accident or need to stay in the house for all of that time, just take some spare clothes, wipes and plastic bags with you in case of accidents when out and about and a plastic bag with a folded hand towel on top will protect the buggy or car seat. DD2 trained at 22 months and I know lots of people who have trained earlier than that - it just depends on the child.

I wouldn't worry about her not being able to undress herself yet, that's not really a prerequisite to potty training, she'll learn soon enough and in the mean time you just have to pull her pants down for her. DD2 never used a potty (as I couldn't be bothered with it so put her straight on the loo) and that means that even though she's capable of pulling her pants on and off she still needs me to help her with trips to the loo even now at 2.2 as she can't really climb on and off the loo herself yet and I have to wipe her anyway so I'm always there. I would definitely ditch the poppered vests they are impossible once you are pulling pants up and down, just buy some normal vests.

I would buy a padded child's loo seat and once she is completely confident on the potty then start slowly introducing her to the loo. With DD1 it was about 3 or 4 weeks after she was potty trained that we started introducing her to the loo and she soon got used to it - but she was very resistant to being held on a big loo without a child seat for a few months after that (so I bought a fold up loo seat "toodle-loo" which I could carry around with me for her). Luckily DD2 doesn't care about this at all which makes life easier as I've always just been able to hold her on any loo when required.

thanks nelly, thats really interesting as you have trained your dd quite early, does it sound like dd is at a similar stage to your dd when you potty trained her?
did you just tell her no more nappys. did she understand or did it take a few accidents for her to realise she would get wet.
dd understands most things i say to her but ignores me when she wants

I would say your DD is way further along than my DD2 was when I trained her. I had had the potty around the house for a few months and sat her on it fairly regularly and let DD2 have nappy free time when we were at home. She didn't have that many accidents when the nappy was off but had rarely actually used the potty - literally a couple of wees and a couple of poos, which seemed more luck than good management. I decided to give the training a go anyway (DC3 due in just under 2 wks now and I was keen to get DD2 out of nappies a good couple of months before his arrival). I thought that if it didn't work there was no hurry or pressure as she was still so young. She always seemed much keener on the idea of the loo than the potty which is why we went with that (no doubt as she saw her sister and I using it whereas the potty had no relevance to her). I ditched nappies and went cold turkey in pants. Initially she got quite upset by wee accidents and started holding her wees in and getting upset and jumping from foot to foot and crying piteously when she needed to wee. I put her back in nappies for a week until she calmed down then tried again and she picked it up after a couple of days - I was amazed to be honest! We used bribery too in the early days - the promise of a chocolate button does work wonders.......

She is very little though so keep in mind you may have relapses and if so stay calm and don't rush her back into nappies. E.g. about a month after I trained DD2 she got an awful tummy bug and diahorrea for about a week which uspet her terribly. She had a relapse on poos (not wees) for about a week / 10 days after it cleared up, I (just about) managed to stay calm about it and then she suddenly went back to pooing in the loo again.

thats really encouraging, i think i will give it a try when she is feeling a bit better, she is run down with a chesty cough/cold and very cranky/tired at the moment so isnt co-operating.
bribery of a sticker today produced a wee as she had been nappy free for ages saying potty but doing nothing and i needed her to get on with it.
sometimes she says potty and then sits there ages and does nothing but if i say get up then nappy back on she says no want potty.
you are right she is only young so if she doesnt get it now i can leave it a few weeks and try again and keep going till she gets it.
im off on a pants hunt this week, tesco start at 18 months and dont want to pay mothercare prices for this first lot, how many do i need? Do i need to buy jogging bottoms too?

you could get leggings anything with elastic waist she could wear her dresses with leggings to keep warm or little jogging suits something quick and easy for you to pull down and back up when needed

ds is 4 and still in jogging bottoms or loose trousers as he cant do buttons etc

i would buy maybe 2 packs of knickers there easily washed and dried if needed and grow out of them so quick i had to change my ds 4 times a day to start as he didnt quite make it in time

ok thanks, when its warmer she can just wear her dresses with nothing underneath, i have got her some leggings and loose shorts and pull up jeans in the next size up.
tesco and matalan pants start at 18-24 months. anyone know where i can get small ones from?
poor dd is rough today, has been sick everywhere and fell asleep at the dinner table before she had dinner. she was sitting at her chair having breakfast when she said get out poo poo so i took her out the chair and she pood on her potty so she is still doing well.

Sounds like she is doing really well - as long as you keep taking it at her pace she will make the remaining steps easily enough. My DD used a potty from about 11 months and was quickly poo continent. Wee took a lot longer, she was mostly dry at home from about 18 months - particularly if she had nothing on her bottom. Out-and-about and nursery were a different issue. Then at just 22 months she decided nursery potty was OK and very quickly after that she started actively asking for the potty all the time and was totally dry in the day - even when out. Previously she didn't like adult loos unless we used her insert, but she got over that at the same time. She is/was so small though that she needs to be held up - she can't do it alone, even with a step.

What blew me away though was about a month later (about 23 months) she insisted on no nappies at night. I'd just bought a waterproof sheet, so thought I'd give her a go, and bless her she has been fine. She's 2.1 now and has had 2 wet beds in all that time. She sometimes comes and asks for the potty in the night, but mostly sleeps through.

Just count yourself lucky (as I did) you have an early trainer. Girls often get it quicker. As long as everything is done at a pace they are comfortable with then there's no minimum age!

As for small pants, we goth some 12-18 month ones in Adams before they closed down. M&S also do them, though stock levels are often low. DD is only just getting coordinated enough to get her own pants and trousers down and up - still needs help sometimes. Go for elasticated waistbands to make it easier. Skirts are a pain because she struggles to lift them up out of the way enough.

P.S. Hope she is feeling better soon, and good on her for keeping up with the potty despite it all - a determined young lady!

hi lionstar, did you leave your dd bare in the house from mrning till night? What did she wear when out, pants or pullups and told you when she wanted to go? did you stay in a few days when you first put her in pants? was your dd asking for potty all the time before you put her in pants?
sorry for all the questions, i want to let dd go at her own pace but when she is bare she finds the potty and goes but when in nappies she sometimesa asks sometimes just wees so im confused.

No problems - I'll try and recall how it all happened. She ask for the potty from an early age for poos - using sign language in the beginning. We also offered the potty on a regular basis - like after every nap, every nappy change etc. At home if we left her bare bummed she was pretty reliable using the potty (either asking or sitting on it herself - we had one downstairs and up). Otherwise (if it was cold/visitors) we would put pants and trousers on her, but be more proactive in asking. She went through a short phase of peeing in her pants a lot - so we went back to nappies for a few weeks (she was still using them at nursery anyway). We also used the Boots waterproof pants for a while, but it was a bit confusing - not one thing or another, so we just used regular pants. The real breakthough was when she agreed to using the nursery potty (they had been offering regularly). That was the switch and she quickly was totally dry during the day. Initally I was nervous about going out so we did some short walks to the park or local shops in pants - but never had any accidents, she could go 2 hours with no wee. I still took a spare nappy and trousers out for quite a while, but have finally got over this! She has never had an accident at nursery or when out - even when we've been gone a whole day.

If your DD still sometimes wees in the nappy then I would continue to give her the option of using them - especially out. Try using pants at home, they take a bit of time to adjust to the feeling of something on their bum but not being able to pee. When she is reliably dry at home then try some short trips out, or just play in the garden. Try and work out what her natural 'interval' is - I'd say it has to be closer to 2 hours to make going out with only pants on a reality. And don't try and push using adult loos as they can develop a real phobia of them. Carry a small potty, or a loo insert - I was lucky enough to avoid this step mostly, but many Mums find they do have to go through a phase of potty-carrying!

thanks lionstar, it is helpful to hear the stages dc go through.
dd has a potty upstairs and down and also one at her nans for visits, she uses the one at her nans when offered and then drags her nan upstairs to flush etc as she likes showing off. i take her potty to playgroup and offer it and she uses it there so she doesnt get put off being out. On the way on holiday and back her nappy was dry and she used the potty as soon as we got home, it was a 2hr drive. on a good day she has 2 wet nappies and one of those is her nap. she is ill at the moment so its a bit hit and miss.
I think dd would cope if i left her bare in the house and stayed in a few days and then used a pullup when out but offered the potty regularly.
she often wakes up and says potty and uses it straight away.
in your opinion does it sound like dd is ready to try pants? going to check the websites now for m&s, mothercare etc for pants.

Yes I'd say she is totally ready to try pants, but just be prepared for the fact it will take a bit of time to adjust. Initially my DD would do a little dribble in her pants then go running for the potty - but it didn't take very long (apart from the 'blip' in the middle). Just try at home first where she is in her comfortable environment. If she does wet then be totally matter of fact and NEVER angry - 'Oh did you wet your pants, lets just take them off and find some dry ones, it's uncomfortable to have wet pants on isn't it?' etc. Similalry wet floors, just clean up (let her help too) and maybe mention 'wee goes in the potty'. It can be hard but any refusals of potty, pants etc. then just totally back down as at this age they cannot be judged for their actions and an overreaction can be scary (it is difficult to cope with backwards steps from an adult point of view though).

Involve her in the choosing of pants if possible - though the choices are fairly limited in the small sizes. Even show her that you wear pants - and as do any older children that might be around, so it doesn't seem abnormal. I'm sure she will love feeling all grown up.

i just searched the websites and mothercare do some large packs cheaply in 12 - 18 months and i have vouchers for there anyway so i'm going to get her a couple of packs and will look for an extra couple of pairs of loose trousers while im there.
before now when bare she has started to wee and said oh no mess and run and finished the wee on the potty so i know she has quite good control. its just nappies take the pressure of her as she can carry on playing withot getting wet.
she is adaptable and has took to most things but i dont want to rush her and scare her off. im definitley keeping her away from toilets for now as she screamed when i tried her.
she knows about pants as she gets mine and her dads out the drawer for us and says mommys pants, daddys pants and calls her pullups dds pants (maybe that was a mistake as she can wet those)
I hope she gets better soon as we have a few quieter weeks now with her classes cancelled for holidays so it would be an ideal time to start her (for me)
I will have to try and be very tolerant, i dont mind if she has accidents (although the carpets will suffer) but i hate it when i ask her does she need a wee and she says no and half hour later haer nappy is wet.

Ilovetochat, can I suggest that you could get some short sleeved t-shirts for DD to wear instead of vests? She will get more wear from them if we have some warm weather this spring and early summer. They get quite hot at playgroups/nursery I find, and t-shirts look nicer than vests if they take their jumpers off.

Sorry to hear DD is poorly. Expect relapses when ill, upset, big changes in routine, etc. even when much older and reliably trained for a long time. Accept that they will happen, ignore and don't get cross, and they will stop eventually.

good suggestion girly, dd is a hot child and even in winter is fine in vest and top so just a t-shirt will probably be fine sin spring summer and she could wear a tshirt under dresses. its like a habit getting vests i suppose

dd is a bit better now and for the past 2 days she has only wet her nappy once each day so is doing really weel again.
i have bought her a pack of 7 pants from mothercare, i know thats not enough but i wanted to check the size first as they are 12 -18 months but say waist 46cm and she is only 44cm but should be ok.
now im wondering when to start pants.
we have been invited out for a meal sunday and then have lots of visiting over easter, but easter would be a good time as all her classes are cancelled for the next fortnight so we have time to stay in a bit and give it a try. so i may get sunday over and then go for it.