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When does sibling rivalry of newborn by toddlers get easier?

2 replies

hattyyellow · 27/03/2009 08:02

Would really welcome any advice (whilst accepting that there will always be rivalary of some kind between siblings!)

I have twins who are 3.8 and a new daughter who is 3 months. My twins are really battling with accepting why on earth we had this new baby and are displaying lots of behaviour in accordance with this. Fighting, tantrums, tears, clinginess. We can't even go to a toddler group without major hysterics and tantrums.

It's making things quite tough. I always knew it wouldn't be easy but the advised strategies don't seem to be working. I spend as much time with them as possible when DD3 is sleeping, trying to stay calm, praising any tiny interactions with their sister. I also try to put her down on her chair/playgym whilst they are all together to spend time with the older girls on my knee and try to read stories all together with DD3 on my knee and them either side.

What I would like is some kind of glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. When DD3 sits up would that make things easier? ie they can play with her more, hand her toys which she can keep hold off etc?

People keep asking them how it is to have a new lovely baby sister and they keep replying that they'd like to "throw her in the bin"! A big flashpoint seems to be me feeding her, I am breastfeeding and to them this seems as if she is always being cuddled instead of them.

I can see that she's not very interesting to them at the moment, but I wonder how the bonding ever happens between siblings - what makes her stop being an annoyance and becomeof interest to her older sisters?

Am tired anyway from broken nights and feeling like I've ruined their lives, whilst trying to stay positive and calm. Any wise words of wisdom? I know I can't be the first or last to deal with this!

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ArcticLemming · 27/03/2009 08:11

That sound miserable. For me, things got easier about 9 months when DD2 started interacting more with DD1 (there's two years difference), though to be honest I didn't have it as hard as you to begin with. DD2 is now 16 months and they love playing together (most of the time)- DD2 is DD1's little sidekick. I hope it gets better soon.

hattyyellow · 27/03/2009 09:00

Thank you! I was hoping that when DD3 can manage some kind of interaction that would make things easier. Will hold out for 9 months! Glad it got better for you.

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