Is it always ignore ignoreignore? (or most of the time anyway)

[Nabster]

DS2 hitting DS1 with a tractor. I take tractor so DS2 hits me. I put him out of the room and he shouts at me and throws things around. I put him in his room and now my heart is racing and I am that close to just walking out.

Sick and tired of the arguing and fighting every bloody day. They shout at each other because I shout at them and I am sick of myself as well as the fact they can't be together for more than about 3 seconds without someone misbehaving or being mean.

fab now dd is crying........

Oh no

Don't walk out.

Cry and rant on here for a few minutes until you've calmed down enough to have the emotional space to comfort DD (how old is she?)

DD is fine
everyone is quiet
i think me shouting has shocked them

dh home in 25 minutes

Have you got emergency chocolate? I have ordered DH to make sure there is always a huge bar of chocolate in the house for emergencies like this - sometimes just need to do something for just me, and, in the past, it's been brandy . Choc much more sensible.

Are you starting to calm down yet?

dh is bringing home chocolate as i was crying earlier.

just want to have some space

can you go for a walk when he gets home? Will that be 'safe' for you to do? What about a bath?

I want a few days away on my own to be honest but that won't happen anytime soon.

I hate myself for not being good enough to snap out of this crap mood and be a better mother to my kids.

I hate myself too. It's not about being good enough though, if you're having an unwell day. You are doing what you can to be well - your children will survive, just keep them informed and be honest with them (well, that's what I'm trying to do).

Do you have any friends or family near you that you can arrange to spend the day with when you realise it's going to be a black one?

Could your dh get home any earlier in the evening? When I was really struggling when ds3 was tiny dh used to leave for work really early so he could then get back at about 4.30pm when I was starting to crumble.

he will be home soon. he is coming home early.

have no friends here and no family at all

Just had a chat with MIL. She rang to check we got home okay as I was very stressed with the kids. She is having them over night Friday until after tea on Saturday so DH and I will have some time alone. That will be nice but it is not having to worry about the kids that is lovely.

great