21 month old ds is really aggressive, help.

[ithinkimtallandblonde]

Has anyone got any advice, my toddler is really aggressive. He's always been hard work and from the age of 1 has always hitand pulled the hair my dd who is just 4, she has the patience of a saint and would never dare fight back with him although she does wind him up. He also hits both dh and i and has taken to closed fist punching me in particular in the face. We have always been very firm with this behaviour always said No very firmly and taken him away from everybody else, now he is old enough to sit on the naughty step thats where he goes although he finds it funny.On one occasion i am horrified to say i smacked him on the bottom. As he hit dd in the face with a bicycle lock and made her nose bleed and i was just so furious with him. We have always found it stressful but managed.

The thing is he has started just randomly attacking other children, it started with dd's friends he started pulling there hair and then last week he just randomly attacked a child at toddler group by running up and pushing him over. I was mortified shouted at him made him apologise and then straight away took him home, the next day he did the exact same thing to a different child who was doing their own thing. I've stopped dds play dates for now as i don't think its fair on the visiting children.

I really don't know what to do with him. I was concerned about his behaviour so i spoke to nursery who say he is a little angel, which i suppose means he understands right from wrong. He gets oodles of attention and i try to occupy him as much as possible, but any other ideas??

maybe hes thinkin he can do what he wants with you becaus eobviously he doesnt think the consequenses are bad iif hes being good at nursery try doing a chart of when he good and tell him if he gets smiley faces all week youll buy him something eg sweets or a cheap toy and see how that works

Thanks for your reply. I think he's a bit little for that he wouldn't understand the concept of a reward yet. But i do know positive parenting works much better with dd than punishment ever did. He's very babyish still, his speech isn't great although he can say dinosaur.

Is mine really the only one?

No mine did this too at toddler groups.

I just used to remove him from the child BEFORE he got to them if at all poss, if not apologise and remove him and tell him no. Pretty much what you have done.

It is a phase that will pass, you are doing the right things.

sorry, meant to say that I wouldn't bother with the naughty step as I think he is too young. Distract and remove is better.

Thanks Humphrey, its really hard. He is very, how shall i put it, spirited. I always thought i'd have another baby but the thought of being pregnant and dealing with him is exhausting.