DD is at preschool with a boy who is, well, hard work. He is frequently naughty, in a fairly low-level, typical boy way - he doesn't sit still when asked, doesn't appreciate his strength and so inadvertently hurts others, is very cheeky and answers back etc. This boy is pulled up for his behaviour by the staff a lot - they seem to try to be very consistent and proportional about it, and the sanction is to be taken to his keyworker, who has a word about the behaviour and he then has to sit on a chair for a bit before being allowed to rejoin the group (I have seen it in action whilst helping at preschool).
This is all fine, and I don't actually have a problem with him at all. But the sanction is very obvious to the other children, and DD knows exactly what is going on and why. Which again is a good thing - she knows that the same sanction will apply to her if she misbehaves. My concern is that he is known as the naughty boy, and DD has latched onto this.
At home DD often refers to 'Fred' (not his real name) as 'a naughty boy', and in her frequently requested made-up stories she often asks for a story about a 'naughty boy called Fred'. She won't countenance that in this story, Fred might be a good boy.
(Well done if you have got this far )
My actual concern is that I don't think she should pigeonhole him in this way - it seems that he will become more mature as he grows up but may end up behaving poorly because he is expected to by his peers. And what if she goes on to label others, and herself in other ways - I want her to be open to the idea that people can change and 'grow up' - and that is OK.
I try to counter her comments by saying that 'Fred' is still a little boy and he is learning how to be good - just like she is. But should I be doing something else?