Anxious and upset about falls

[justkeepingittogether]

Hello

I know it is part of toddler life but I am finding myself getting anxious and really quite upset when DD falls. She is just over a year and is not falling when walking - it is when she is holding onto something like a sofa. Where we live everyone has hard floors - wooden or ceramic tiles and the playgroup is hard floors. I am sure it makes a difference to how you feel - I would be soo much happier with carpet but it is not an option.

I have borrowed a head protector which I am using at home and I feel better - haven't used at playgroup - where she has taken too whacks and found myself crying about it at lunchtime today. I am going to put it on her from now on even if people there think I am silly.

I know you can't protect them all the time but it is really upsetting me. How have other people coped with this stage - especially those without carpets?

Is she always hitting her head when she falls? IIRC most falls are flat onto a well padded bottom.

FWIW DD2 was repeatedly pushed over (by her older sibling) from sitting as a baby onto a ceramic floor - I can still remember the sound of her head hitting it. She came to no harm though and eventually got so used to it happening that she didn't even cry!

Hello again! (Just posted on you CDH thread). They are a part and parcel of real life unfortunately but if it helps I can tell you what the ambulance man told us when we called them when DD1 fell down the stairs aged about 1 year (And that was a really big fall due to miscommunication between OH and me - 2 thuds and a splat, right from top to bottom. Will never forget all of our screams). He basically said "did she cry right away? And did she stop within 5 mins with comforting?" Apparently as a basic rule of thumb, if they do that then they're likely to be ok. Hope this helps.

Get some arnica and keep it on you at all times! I am an arnica obsessive but dd has had some horrid falls and bashes and it is really a miracle. DD first had it at 11 months in France where the pharmacist gave her an enormous dose and the egg on her forehead disappeared in about 20 minutes (still a scar! but have been a convert ever since.

Hmm, well I too would second that most falls are onto a well nappied bottom. I can only imagine the looks you and your child will get at playgroup... [hmmm]. (The only child I knew with a helmet was an epeleptic, so he needed it. If your DD has no special needs, and is just learning to walk, then I doubt she needs it...)Can I please ask you (a first time mum, perchance?) to relax a bit with your DD? The falling phase does pass, and children learn fast, and pick up soo much from your own attitudes. If you cry when she falls, and if you stop her doing things on the small chance that she will fall (running in the park, or on a concrete path, or rushing down a slide, or....) then your DD will LEARN to be scared or normal, everyday accidents and situations. If you try to always be calm, and hide your own fear, then she will learn that whilst life does occasionally make you trip up, and that running with your laces untied is a silly thing, that Mum will always be there for a cuddle. My neice and nephew have learnt to be scared from their very loving, nice mother. They are whiney, clingy and cry at the least bit of uncomfort or thing which they dont like. She admits they learnt it from her, and her own attitudes. Please try to remember that your DD wont always fall on her head and that she has to fall to learn how to walk... it's how things are..

my DS (15.5mo) has a lot of falls and bumps to the head, mostly from tripping over his feet - he already has a scar on his forehead due to bumping the same spot 4 days in a row, the last one sadly on a corner which split the tightened skin .

He is a little toughnut though - and although if it's a real bump he will cry to start with, he always settles within a couple of minutes. He has had some amazing bruises! Poor little love. But it's normal and some of the less hard bumps he just gets up and carries on now.

Nothing wrong with giving him a bit of a cuddle and comfort after a big knock, but if it's only a wee one and he looks to see if I've seen before he starts to wail, then I'll just tell him to get himself up and carry on, which he does.

Do let her fall and don't worry! My mother was scared of letting me fall and consequently it makes you fearful. I just gritted my teeth and let them get on with it. Pick them up for a cuddle afterwards.

I know what you are saying and I do do my best to not show my concern but I do think it makes a difference when they are falling on hard surfaces - we don't have carpet and I wonder if a lot of the instances you are thinking about were in a carpeted environment. She is falling and that is happening but in this phase when it is her head hitting wood or ceramic tiles I feel the cushion of headgear is a good idea.

I do absolutely appreciate what you are saying but is easier said than done.

mostly DH has managed to hit his head on:
floorboards
concrete floor
wooden furniture
quarry tile floor (luckily not hard, this one - it's the one that does actually scare me)
the falls on the carpet have only been worrying when it has been down a step that he's forgotten was there.

It is softer with carpet but they tend to fall in the kitchen on tiles, hit heads on furniture, door frames etc and outside. I don't think that you can stop it without curbing a lot of freedom.

My DS is always falling over and my house is covered in wood floor and tiles. I only have one carpet and that is on the landing/stairs which he doesn't play on for obvious reasons. He is 15 months old. He always has a bump or scratch on his head from something. Most times I don't notice as he hasn't even cried. I don't think I have ever heard of a child seriously hurting themselves when falling on any type of floor in a house unless it is from a height.

My DD (who is now a bright and bubbly 5 year old), fell off a changing table onto her head just before her 1st birthday onto a wooden floor. She started crying straight away and had stopped within 5 minutes. We did take her to A&E and she was completely fine.

My DS only seems to cry when a well meaning grandma or auntie offer him some sympathy, then the tears come.

Well, DS2 (now 7) learned to walk in our apartment in Singapore which had marble floors in the living rooms, dark wood parquet in the bedrooms and stone tiles on the balcony and in the bathrooms. He always had an egg-shaped bruise somewhere on his head. He has fallen down stairs at least 4 times (once at 16 months in my mum's house down a full flight as he was used to walking down the 2 stairs in our apartment and didn't know how to go down safely), jumped over a trampoline bar and landed on his forehead, fallen onto his upper jaw onto a hard surface.....I could go on. He has never been concussed, or lost consciousness, or been seriously hurt. It doesn't mean you don't worry, and with every blow to the head I have worried. But he's been fine.

Really, really, really, though serious injuries can happen, mostly they don't, particularly falling from toddle height. Your child doesn't need a helmet if she is a typically developing toddler. Children learn to walk on hard surfaces all over the world. No one had carpets in Singapore and I never saw a child in a helmet.

JKIT - it crosses my mind that the news about Natasha Richardson might have reinforced your anxieties? Please don't let it - she was very unlucky.

Just keep in mind the rules of thumb mentioned here - adn of course if there is an loss of consciousness and/or vomiting after any fall then go to A&E.

In regards to having no carpet I live in Portugal and have tiles and wood everywhere... no carpet in sight. When my dd was starting to walk I put rugs down on the sitting room floor, 3 of them all on top of each other to make it more padded. This meant that if she fell while pulling herself up or taking a few steps it would be a little softer for her head. That said we did have some falls in other rooms and although wood is hard it does give a little. My dd is now running everywhere and still has the occassional fall but isn't that just part and parcel of having a toddler? She constantly has grazed knees and hands from falling in the park. I promise though that once they get better at walking they fall onto their head less and less. I am a real worrier when it comes to my dd and any bang to the head so i do understand why you are so worried but it does sound like it is preventing you from enjoying this wonderful time. Try to relax and just always be nearby so you can catch her and buy some rugs!!