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Parenting

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Original poster

11 yo travelling alone - what would you do?

17 replies

neonLadybird · 17/03/2009 13:05

Hello everyone, first posting although have been lurking for a while so hi
My DS is 11, in year 7 and spends school holidays with his Dad who lives a long way away (5 hour train journey). Up to now his Dad has picked him up either at the mainline train station or by car, or he's been accompanied by ex ILs when they are going to visit. Ex H has now asked if it would be OK with me for him to travel on his own. I'm really not sure about this as although DS is a sensible boy and wouldn't mess about he's not exactly streetwise. Ex has said it would be a daytime journey, he would pay for a 1st class ticket, inform the guard etc and make sure he has a charged up mobile. I'm not entirely comfortable myself. I'd be grateful for your thoughts! (also does anyone know if there are legal implications to this?)

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StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 17/03/2009 13:11

Would you put him on the train one end and he'd be met at the other end? Would he need to change trains?

I think it sounds OK even if he has to change. If he's unsure which train to get if he has to change there will be plenty of Rail staff to ask.

RubyrubyrubyHareb · 17/03/2009 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeehiveBaby · 17/03/2009 13:13

I did this and was going through London to visit dad a year later. He will be fine if it is just the one train.

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ranting · 17/03/2009 13:15

My ds used to get on the train and travel to my mums on his own at this age. We'd drop him off at the station and my dad would pick him up at the other end. It was absolutely fine, the first time is terrifying though, I remember standing by the phone for the entire time.

FAQinglovely · 17/03/2009 13:16

I used to do a 4hr train journey on my own at 12yrs old - parents would put me on the train at one end, and I'd get off the other and get a taxi to the school on my own.

I presume (from reading your post) that he's done the train journey accompanied before so knows it.

I wouldn't use the coach option, I used to do the coach sometimes (as it was cheaper) and I hated it. Not only did it take twice as long, at the "rest beaks" (or whatever they were called) we would all pile out at a motorway service station. Usually at least 5 or 6 coaches all parked up RIGHT next to each other,. Which meant that not only was I wandering a service station on my own, it was them often quite tricky to make sure I got back on the right bus

Cies · 17/03/2009 13:17

Is it a modern train with the button to push to open the door or is it one of the old fashioned ones that you have to put your hand out through the window to open the door?

I ask because when I was a similar age my cousin and we took the train alone but we couldn't work out how to open the door, so stayed on for another stop

You know your son. Talk to him. Ask him how he would feel. If you do decide to let him do it, could someone accompany him the first time to make sure he knows the route etc?

Original poster

neonLadybird · 17/03/2009 13:33

Thanks everyone, wow that was quick!
Yes I would put him on one end and he would be met at the other. It's an end to end journey so no danger of missing his stop and no changes. I guess I need to talk to him to see if he is OK with it. I do feel reassured now (he is after all my PFB)!

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emmabemmasmom · 17/03/2009 13:54

Slightly different situation, but my parents live in different countries and I first flew on my own at the age of 7. Even with flight changes! Granted many years ago!! :-)
My 7 year old sister will be flying over here in summer on her own too.

If members of staff are notified then they will check on him and make sure he is taken care of.

I know a plane and a train are totally different, however I always had a great time traveling on my own and felt very grown up. It was also a great time to show my parents how responsible I could be and has made traveling on my own as an adult less nerve wracking!

I think a straight journey is the best way to start and someone will be there to check on him and take care of him if there is an emergency.

Best thing is to see if he is ready as you said...

Hope that helps!

Nabster · 17/03/2009 14:02

What about someone go with him as usual but sit in the next carriage and just be there for back up? Let your DS do everything himself.

dilemma456 · 18/03/2009 13:06

Message withdrawn

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/03/2009 13:54

sure he will be fine

lots of children travel alone on trains to school at 11 but obv not 5 hrs

if you put him on at one end, and ex gets him off, sure he will be fine

mention to the gurad/ticket collecter

maybe make sure he has a mobile that he can taxt/call you during the journey

sarah76 · 18/03/2009 19:14

Should be fine, just give him a backpack with snacks, books, puzzles, etc to keep him busy.

piscesmoon · 18/03/2009 19:31

I don't see a problem as long as he isn't changing trains and he can get hold of you on the mobile.

pointydog · 18/03/2009 19:37

If your son's ok with it, I think it sounds fine

snorkle · 18/03/2009 22:15

If he's comfortable with it then it should be fine - he'll feel 3" taller afterwards!

btw National Express don't allow unaccompanied children on their coaches - they have to be 14 (I think).

willali · 19/03/2009 12:31

I did London - Edinburgh regularly from age 11 (school hols from boarding school) I'm sure he will love it and I assume he has a mobile to contact you if anything goes awry??

pagwatch · 19/03/2009 12:40

My son had a term of schooling at his old school before he was able to start at the new one where we had moved. he had to commute on his own on the train at age 10.
he loved it and it worked fine.
After a couple of weeks he didn't want me to drop him or meet him atthe station.
He was very grown up and enjoyed the responsibility.

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