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Standing up or toilet seat? Advice please for reluctant ds.

3 replies

funtimewincies · 17/03/2009 11:32

Sorry, bit of a saga...

Ds will be 2.4 at Easter and we're going have have a shot at 'big boy's pants'. He was in cloth nappies until he was 18 months, at which point he refused to lie down to have his nappy changed, but he didn't seem at all ready for potty training, so we moved to dispoable pull-ups.

Throughout his little life he's never been bothered by wet or dirty nappies/pants. It's clear he's doing a poo and will confirm it if asked but often needs persuading to be changed. He doesn't tell me when he wees. He never poos at predictable times, so lifting him onto the potty hasn't been an option. He'll sometimes be persuaded/bribed onto the potty but produces nothing and can't see the point.

We've had potties and loo-seats available since he was 18months, he knows what they're for, he sees dh and myself use the toilet and there has been much talk/preparation about why we use the potty or toilet.

BUT, he simply doesn't like using them. He's tall, so potties scrunch him up and he hates sitting on the toilet, even with a special seat. Should I just teach him to wee standing up? Does this mean that I'd have to plonk him on the seat when he's doing a poo and put up with the stropping?

Knowing my ds, this will get worse rather than better as he likes the convenience of the pullups and doesn't see the point of toilets when dh and myself are there to keep him clean.

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CMOTdibbler · 17/03/2009 11:46

Standing up to wee is all very well (DS likes to stand on the toilet seat as a treat as he can't quite manage standing on the floor or step yet), but your DS will have to voluntarily sit down to poo.

TBH, sounds like he's not ready yet - why not leave it until he seems readier

funtimewincies · 17/03/2009 12:24

Mainly because my ds' personality is such that I can't see things being any different in 6 months or a years time and I don't think that he'll decide for himself before he starts school. Be it moving from using a cup instead of a bottle, giving up a dummy, moving from mush to lumps (even when he had a good set of teeth), he's needed help taking the leap into the unknown and, once he's done that, he's always been really keen on the change.

That's why I plan to spend a few days in the house/garden, prepared for a lots of accidents while he makes the cause/effect link of no disposables and wee down the leg. Stardrops cleaner is on standby!

If it fails I'll leave it for a bit, but I was just wondering whether anyone had had more success bypassing the potty stage. His language skills are really good and he talks in full sentences most of the time, so he's able to tell me what he thinks and it's 'I don't like the potty'.

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queenrollo · 17/03/2009 12:52

my ds point blank refused to go anywhere near his potty at that age. I decided to leave it for a while as i didn't want to make it an issue for him. Two weeks before his 3rd birthday we took him out of nappies and put him into pants. He had a couple of accidents and we sometimes had to let him wee in the gutter, but it only took him a couple of weeks to gain control/tell us he needed the loo with enough time for us to find one if we were out. He also was a little confused about what he needed to do, would say he needed a wee when in fact he needed a poo......but it didn't take long for him to figure that out.

I have been surprised and pleased at how easy ds found the transition so we obviously fluked and picked the right time.....

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