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Original poster

When did you first leave your PFB overnight with GPs?

35 replies

Fufulina · 16/03/2009 19:15

Hi - my DD is 3 months old on Friday. It's our wedding anniversary in May and we're planning a night away - without DD. My mum is going to come down and look after her for the afternoon and night. We'll leave at lunchtime on the Saturday and be back after breakfast on Sunday.

The thing is - I am terrified about leaving her. Contrary to all expectations I am far more 'indulgent' with her than I thought I would be (she's PFB). I can't bear to hear her cry. My major worry is her night feeds (she has one or two between 6.30 ish and 7 ish) - and she's only ever known me and boob at night (actually she's only ever really know me and boob for all her feeds bar about 3 bottles DH has given her to make sure she takes a bottle). Is it mean to leave her with my mum and to have a bottle of EBM instead of boob?? I know this sounds ridiculous but I am so worried about it I'm thinking of canceling - but then worry that it will just get harder to leave her IYSWIM? So - what would you do? And am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Goober · 16/03/2009 19:16

Never have.
He is now 14.......

choufleur · 16/03/2009 19:19

6 weeks. it's not mean to leave DCs. My DS get far more spolit with grandparents than with us. I can't wait for my next free night (roll on may 23rd!)

if she'll take EBM in a bottle i'm sure she'll be fine.

dustbuster · 16/03/2009 19:19

I don't think it necessarily gets harder to leave as they get older. I would have really struggled to leave DD at that age, even with her dad, but now she is 1, off the breast, and sleeping through, I feel much more relaxed.

So if you do decide not to go, don't worry that you will never be able to leave!

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MrsMattie · 16/03/2009 19:28

I was fine about leaving my 'PFB'. It's my 2nd baby that I am finding harder to leave - or rather, both of my children, now I have two. With DS I went on holiday for 4 nights and left him with my mum when he was 4 mths old. We went on our honeymoon for 8 nights when he was 2 yrs old, and again, he stayed with my mum.

DD is now 4 mths old and DH has surprised me with a night away for my birthday soon...and I am feeling a bit weird about leaving them both.

I'm fine about leaving them both with their dad for the night. Have had a few lairy nights out since DD was born and DH has held the fort .

Go with your instincts.

Original poster

Fufulina · 16/03/2009 19:34

Thanks all - you see I'd be fine leaving her with DH - it's just both of us leaving her. Mu mum lives 150 miles away, so we don't see her regularly so DD doesn't really 'know' her yet. I worry that I'm just worrying - but MrsMattie - I think the 'instinct' comment has really struck a nerve. If I don't want to leave her - I shouldn't... Before I had her I thought I'd be palming her off on anyone who'd have her and it couldn't be further from the truth! Who knew!

OP posts:

Nabster · 16/03/2009 19:35

He was nearly 4////

Reallytired · 16/03/2009 19:35

I left my "PFB" over night when he was seven years old! I don't think it has done him or me any harm.

At seven years old it was an adventure and people could talk to him. He also has a good concept of time.

I have no plans to leave my precious second born baby with anyone over night either.

UndertheBoredwalk · 16/03/2009 19:36

I always feel like I was odd when I see these posts cos I never had any misgivings about leaving DD as a baby, in fact I couldn't wait to have some time away
I think I left her with my mum overnight at around 3 months, she was fine, and my mum overjoyed
DD is 8 now and has since the very beginning reg slept over at my mums house, and as a now single parent its a godsend!
If you're really not comfortable with it though, cancel and try again in a while. If you know you're going to spend the whole time worried there's not much benefit to you is there?
I don't think it gets harder to leave them as they get older until they start entering into the toddler stage when they get clingy and make it hard. At baby stage I don't think it will make much of a difference. Maybe when she's more used to taking a bottle you'll feel better about it?
Go with your gut I think

Jaquelinehyde · 16/03/2009 19:37

Never for two 3 year olds and a 21 month old.

Not because I wouldn't but because they are not stupid enough to offer

Hulababy · 16/03/2009 19:38

DD was just short of 3yo when we first left her overnight with anyone - that was with my parents. Previous to that grandparents babysat at our house and we stayed local.

shonaspurtle · 16/03/2009 19:38

I haven't yet, and he's 2.4... I do mean to, but there never seems to have been a good enough reason. Am a big wuss.

If we had the money to go away for a night I would though. Our reasons for leaving ds are more diy-based which are less exciting.

HeadFairy · 16/03/2009 19:39

I never have. I feel odd going out to work on my night shifts and leaving him with dh. It's not that dh can't handle anything, he's more than capable. It's just that I haven't technically spent a night apart from him since he was born (apart from night shifts). He's 18 months. I know I'm probably considered quite sad, but he's my baby boy and I'll do it when I'm ready.

CompareTheMeerkat · 16/03/2009 19:41

DS was 2.3 when we left him with grandparents. I didn't leave him with anyone else overnight until DD was born when he was 22 months.

nowwearefour · 16/03/2009 19:43

i waited til i had stopped b/feeding so she was about 15 months. It was a hard year but was really worth the wait!! (although i was already pg so couldnt drink like i might have wanted to!!)

flowerybeanbag · 16/03/2009 19:47

I haven't yet, and won't for the foreseeable future. DS is 22mo.

He doesn't see much of my parents because they live abroad and only sees my in-laws every couple of months as well. He's fine with the ILs for an afternoon occasionally, and would also be fine being put to bed by them, but when they stay with us (and in fact when we stay with them), there's no sign of them being up for getting up early. Occasionally when we've stayed with them, MIL has said 'oh I'll get up with DS in the morning, you two stay in bed for a bit.' Except she doesn't. Which is fine of course, and obviously she would if she was in charge, but I wouldn't want to impose 6am starts on anyone of that age not used to it.

Similarly I would never leave a child with GP overnight while still nightfeeding tbh. I just feel that's asking too much of anyone. I realise I am in the minority though, as loads of people do it, so as long as your mum is happy to do it, then go for it.

I do think maybe you should get her more used to a bottle beforehand though, and get her to see your mum a bit more beforehand as well. In your position I'd get her to come to yours on the Friday afternoon, spend time with you and DD together, see her bedtime routine, help out with it all, then spend some time with her the Saturday morning with you as well, so that she's on top of everything that happens and so that DD is comfortable with her.

claireybeemine · 16/03/2009 19:48

DD was 7 months but we were living with my parents anyway so we were leaving her in her own home with people she normally lived with iyswim.

DS was just 1, like your dd he was having 2 night feeds most nights and had only ever had boob. The first time he woke he was offered a bottle but refused it, grizzled for a bit then went to sleep being cuddled. After that they didn't even have to pick him up, just patted his back and he went back to sleep (has NEVER done that for me!).

MIAonline · 16/03/2009 19:52

This is an issue that is just down to when you feel comfortable. Ime everyone is so different, I am going to be leaving my DS who is 2, for one night later in the year and it hasn't felt right until now but I have had friends who have done it much earlier and their DC were fine. The feeding may be an issue though and I would say either do a trial run with your mum staying with you while you are both there but doing the night feed as if you weren't iyswim. That way if you do go away you will feel confident that your baby will be fine. I would also say don't feel bad about cancelling the night away if you decide you wouldn't feel comfortable or taking your DD with you. We managed to have a romantic night away with DS when he was a few months old

usernametaken · 16/03/2009 19:53

DD is 4.0yrs, she has never been left over night with anyone. We were living in a different country to our relatives until she was 2.5yrs, since then the opportunity has never arisen. One day!

CMOTdibbler · 16/03/2009 20:30

DS is 2.9, and hasn't spent a night without one of DH or me yet. And is pretty unlikely to in the forseeable future. My parents are trustable for approx 1 minute on their own, and DH's aren't offering

fishie · 16/03/2009 20:36

fufulina i wouldn't do it. 3m is so young and it doesn't sound as though you'll enjoy yourself. how about getting your mum to babysit and going out for dinner?

Umlellala · 16/03/2009 20:45

Dd was 3mths when she first stayed overnight but she was bottlefed. She loves my mum, I trust her completely (she used to sleep next to dd on a mattress to settle her cos it's what we do, though she never co-slept with me) and it has been a godsend. Ds is 8mths and bfed and never spent more than 3 hours away from me. I am finding it quite hard but he won't take a bottle so c'est la vie. (we're working on it... )

Coldtits · 16/03/2009 20:46

He was 3, I was in labour with ds2

insertwittynicknameHERE · 16/03/2009 20:48

DD is nearly 16mo and we have not left her overnight with the GP's yet.
Not going to anytime soon either, I am not ready for it

Sheeta · 16/03/2009 20:49

left with GP's for the evening when 3 weeks, overnight when about 8 months.

Just makes sure you get DD used to a bottle at night beforehand (get DH to do it for a few nights

BakewellTarts · 16/03/2009 20:49

Mine was 2 and had a fab time.

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